Tag Archives: wisdom

What can a better you do?


A better person inspires better people, makes better families who build better societies, who make great countries, who influences a better world.

ONE SOURCE TO A BETTER YOU: http://despicablewonderfulyou.wordpress.com/

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Why being a Non Conformist is AWESOME!


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Why being a Non Conformist is AWESOME?


Remember “Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen” from 1999???


Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.. Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you’re 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it.

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…


Great ideas have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds


 

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Somewhere in this world today sits a senior executive in a company boardroom secretly disagreeing with the popular consensus of the people in the room because he or she sees something that is morally wrong and greedy objectives. Across their country perhaps sits a young graduate working on his or her secret aspiration to develop the next big software that could possibly change the world of mobile phones. Sitting at the desk in India, which was once popularly known to be a poor country, sits a billionaire working on how to take over an American corporation.  Standing in a line up at the security check in USA, perhaps stands a father watching his young teen daughter being stripped of her basic dignity and being scanned through a machine and people watching her and thinks what can he do or say that could challenge the system and inspire them to develop a less invasive and more sensible process.

No man can cause more grief than that one clinging blindly to the vices of his ancestors.  ~William Faulkner

Similarly today there are those who choose to appease their immediate management and superiors and comply with programs and actions for personal benefits. There is a teen on his or bed thinking of ways to convince their parent to buy them the next greatest feature filled expensive mobile phone. And across the room sits their parent figuring out what can they sacrifice from their personal lifestyle to siphon out a few more hundreds to help pay their credit card bills that they never thought will be a problem one day. And there lays another young uncorrupted mind thinking about the biased information fed by someone who he or she thinks has the knowledge and wisdom and has managed to  entice them to join a popular growing opinion that benefits the propagators more than the activists.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – even if I have said it – unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.  ~Buddha

In this advanced and fast developing world of ours are people who are passive non conformists, those who challenge the popular opinions against harsh objections or possible persecutions and there are those who indulge in ritualistic and monotonous day to day living by conforming to popular norms and processes as dictated by those who they consider are authoritative figures, experts and intelligent people who know what they are talking about.

In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.  ~Bertrand Russell

If one thing statistics, recent and past history has proved to us is that the popular opinions, democratic decisions and expert advice have often been more wrong than right that has resulted are severe and damaging consequences. This is was not true the economists would have foreseen and avoided the crisis that grips the world of finance today, doctors would not have misdiagnosed several critical cases and get sued for their gross negligence, there wouldn’t be contradicting studies from researchers over drugs and food, America would not vote the president for two consecutive terms who drove them to economic crisis for personal and collective personal gains, and all corporations and their respective experts, authorities and top executives will not pay themselves millions of dollars and run their organizations to bankruptcy and  get bailed out by the common mans money. These and several other such examples goes to prove that experts, authoritative figures, popular opinions, and majority decisions are not necessarily the right ones. If anything they have often proved to be grossly wrong and biased. Our dependency and reliance on such figures, people and decisions needs to be based on individual sensibilities, common understanding of morals, values and the responsibility to educate ourselves on unbiased and sound facts before we make our choices. Especially the decisions and choices we make that deeply impact our own personal well being and those who depend on us or seek our wisdom and advice that may influence theirs.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly. –Albert Einstein, in a letter to a professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position

Such individual sensibilities, the power to change their world and surroundings stems from ones personal beliefs, educated opinions and self confidence. Many great scientists, inventors, musicians, politicians, revolutionaries and contributors to society were able to bring the inventions, computers, systems, and many things that has made our lives better were able to do this only by going against the popular opinions, total dismissal, humiliation, objections and over bearing influence of powerful conformists of their times. Also many organizations and corporate are brought to their knees by those individuals who stand by sound morals and principles when the collective top executive decisions are biased and unethical. So are the popular uprising in countries against their once powerful and controlling regimes, and political figures.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

But the challenge for every individual is to develop the courage, self-confidence and the wisdom to seek and form balanced opinions based on sound values, morals and beliefs without prejudice. These qualities are needed by those who choose to progressive evolve themselves, their societies, their world and make positive contributions towards their own prosperity, happiness, achievements and growth. Alternatively one can choose to continue to be ignorant conformists, passive non conformists, and follow popular opinions against their own sensibilities and conscience. Great countries, communities, corporations, families and people are inspired by intelligent, educated and progressive thinking without prejudice. If one feels the need not to confirm to processes, decisions, and opinions, it has to be based on intelligence to truly make positive progressive progress and gains for self and to the world we live in. Weather they are  political beliefs, religious or communal rituals, mundane processes,  or authoritative decisions, each needs to be examined, thought, understood and practiced on intelligent,  educated and balanced principles for positive and progressive living and growth. Allow your individuality to shine based on your sound moral beliefs and progressive attitude. Lead and make a new path for others to follow.

Individuality realized is the supreme attainment of the human soul, the master-master’s work of art. Individuality is sacred. –Frank Lloyd Wright

And a few more quotes:

Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs.  ~Robert Peel

And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will?  When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others?  ~Galileo Galilei

Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.  ~John F. Kennedy

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. – Albert Einstein Quotes


A “Solution Driven” life – to live a life of a problem solver


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Every sales person who is selling you something today often tries to position their product or service as a “Solution”. It is either a solution to make your life easier, save time, save money, increase you bottom line savings, manage your job better and help you solve that particular problem. And all their products or services is designed to solve what they like to call as a `Problem“. It is a simple yet very persuasive and most popular business selling concept.  The sales and marketing teams design their positioning statement or advertisements to highlight the problems you may face by not using their products and then showcase their solution to eliminate that problem for you. In order for you to buy into their offerings, they also try to build you problem bigger. They seek out your pinch points, develop the issue bigger by making you consider the consequences of not solving the problem, and then make solving that problem an imperative need that you must address.

If you apply this perspective to life, then everyone who can identify a particular problem and develop their own solution to that problem can be successful. We all face several “problems” in life all the time. We worry about the consequences of the problem and get stressed all the time. All we have to do is identify the problem dispassionately as though you are getting paid to find a solution, approach the idea objectively, develop the solution and then apply that solution to that particular problem all the time. This turns into a successful business model if you chose to sell this unique “solution” to everyone who has a similar problem.

Here is another perspective to the same matter. If you look at someone playing a video game objectively, you will soon realize that all they are doing is navigating their characters through a complex obstacle race to get to the next level. They develop strategies, lose their lives, start from the scratch again, learn from their past mistakes, and overcome their obstacles and get to the next level. And as they go higher in their game level the challenges gets more complex and difficult. However, the player relentlessly keeps the fight on until they finally finish that game at the final level. What’s even more interesting is that while they do this the players often dedicate their total attention, time and stay committed to finishing that game. They clock in several sleepless nights, skip food, and forget about all other commitments they may have. And finally all they get at the end of their game is just two simple things. 1) Bragging rights, and 2) The ultimate satisfaction of having accomplished a complex and challenging task. But these two things mean a lot to the player.

Now if you were to apply this perspective to real life again, then you can certainly develop intelligent strategies to navigate through the complex obstacle ridden life by solving each challenge and keep progressing until you accomplish your objective. All you need to do here is keep the same mind set you take to the video game, that is: it is your job to solve the problem by finding the solution to progress further. In doing this, once gain you may sacrifice several hours, skip a few meals, spend sleepless nights, and constantly keep thinking of all the ways you can overcome the challenges. But ultimately, you will develop your own solution to the problem, navigate through it successfully, regardless of the number of times you fail, and eventually progress from one stage in life to another and accomplish the task of solving several complex problems. Now all you do is hold on to the same idea, commitment and sprit for every problem in life and collect several bragging rights for several problems you have found solutions to. And above all, bask in the success of your progress through life.

The funny thing about problems in life is that it makes us often react in a less intelligent manner to it. By default we begin to fear and work about the consequences of the problems. And we end up spending more time worrying about the consequences and the inconveniences of the problem that we may face rather than spending that time working towards developing a solution.  Also we often carry a fear of failing to develop a solution or developing a solution that may fail. And due to such fears we end up doing nothing or procrastinating. Meanwhile the problem just sits there and doesn’t go away or snow balls into something much bigger. This is exactly where the sales person with the solution loves to be so that he or she can sell their developed solution to you.  Now your need is greater and you will do anything to solve the problem.

But what if you were to own the problem and take on the responsibility to find a solution yourself? Why wait for someone to come by and tap your shoulder and sell you a solution? Not that people are going around tapping people’s shoulders and solving their problems all the time. When it comes to your life problems, you are on your own. You own this business. This is your own video game.  It is your job to apply the right attitude and develop a solution to that particular problem. And if you have played video games, you sure know that you do have the skill set required to play develop the right strategies and solutions to overcome this problem too. All you got to do is take the same attitude to this task.  Weather it is a job related problem, education problems, relationship problem, health problem, weight problem, financial problem or a parenting problem, you sure can learn, read, ask around, and educate yourself to the number of possible solutions there are. Then taken on the responsibility and put in your time and effort to developing a solution to your problem and solving it. You have your browsers on your phones, at home; you have friends, advisers, and many other sources to learn from.  And there are other people who have developed solutions and selling them too. What truly matters is your attitude towards your problems. If you take the responsibility to find a solution, and view your life problems objectively you certainly can solve them.

It is only a problem until you find a solution. Now regardless of the kinds of problems you may face, choose to become the video game player or the problem solving sales person, and begin to collect the bragging rights of being a problem solver and progress through all life levels with confidence.  After all, solving your life problems if your job. No one is going to come by, hold your hand and walk you towards a solution.

What’s your problem?


Are you a Conformist or do you have the courage to change your world?


TED Talk http://youtu.be/a181ctQyGY4

http://youtu.be/a181ctQyGY4

 

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TED Talks


Infectious Experiences – How it makes us who we are.


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We all are shaped by our experiences in our lives. And the memories, good and bad have permanently altered our outlook towards our lives and future. We are nothing but a mind over matter that is a product of our experiences under specific circumstances in our lives.  If our circumstances were any different our experiences would have been very different as well and would result in a different memory that will remain with us forever. Perhaps they lie dormant in our minds for long, but only until similar circumstance arises in our lives.  I tend to draw some inspiration from the character Guido; Roberto Benigni played in the movie Life is Beautiful where in the second half of the movie he tries to create a totally different experience of a Nazi Camp for his son by telling him that they are participants in a game to collect points. In the end the son thinks he won the game while his father got killed in the process.

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. ~Author Unknown

Our response to situations, and events in our lives are all shaped by our experiences. Your thought process, our mind set, attitude, aspirations, expectations, and social behaviour are all altered or shaped by our experiences.  Many of our experiences are usually personal in nature and there are several experiences that are conceived. The personal experiences are usually deeper in nature that we hold on to for long because we have endured personally as opposed to the ones that are conceived by other people’s personal experiences or opinions which changes over time and based on our individual personal experiences on that subject. If you spend some time thinking about your experiences that have affected you and your opinions about certain things in life, you will soon realize how fragile your opinions could be as it would have been lot different only if the circumstances of your experience were different.

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. ~Aldous Leonard Huxley

How you react to an experience and your choice of response leaves an almost  permanent code of response to similar future experiences in your memory. You are more likely to response very similarly the next time you encounter a similar experience. Thus what you chose to do with your experiences plays a major factor in your development, understanding, response, opinions and future behaviours. We all  carry several fond memories of your childhood that we often try to recreate for our youngsters or children. We often try to physically recreate the same atmosphere and circumstances hoping our children have the same experiences in their lives. We ape our parents’ behaviours at times in an effort to invoke similar response from our children, we tell the same old stories we grew up with to our children, or create similar environments such as taking them to a beach, playing in an open back yard etc. The core idea being that we hope our children to grow up with the same fond memories we did from our childhood.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. ~Mark Twain

When we realize how important a personal experience is to us and how it has influenced our lives in several ways, and how our choice of reaction to these experiences under specific circumstances has shaped our personality, it will dawn upon us the importance it is for us to create good experiences and circumstances for everyone who comes in contact with us in our lives. What we experience under specific circumstances shapes us and what circumstances and experiences we create influences every individual we come in contact in our lives. It is very similar to how we feel when we have met someone who makes us feel good or bad. And the other individuals’ response or reaction to the experience we bring to them affects us in return.

Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself. ~Thomas Jefferson

We all are made of our experiences that we encountered in a specific circumstance. If an individual behave in a particular way, it is because his or her experience thought him these responses and resulting characteristics were born. We are like them too and they are like is. We all are victims of our life experiences. But we each can change ourselves and others by changing the scars in memories by creating new and positive experiences and circumstances. We can influence opinions, understanding, memories, feelings, responses, love, hatred, prejudice, knowledge and lives by how we chose to behave and the experiences we create for ourselves and others. Thus by making every effort to create a positive interaction and experience every time you speak or contact others you create a better world of pleasant memories, experiences and happiness.

To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being ~ John Lubbock

So, the next time you visit family over holidays, go over to a friends home, take the time to inspire someone who looks up to you,  interact with colleagues at work, meet your grand parents, siblings, nephews or nieces, make effort to create a positive experience for them has leave them with pleasant memories of you and your words and wisdom. For they often have a profound impact in their lives like your experiences have impacted you. You can begin at home with your siblings, wife and children and enjoy a life of pleasant experiences and memories. Your personal experiences are created by how others treat you. Likewise their experiences with you are based on how you treat them. It is a chain of continuous actions and reactions. But to change this link from a negative to a positive one needs to come from you.


The “Anger” dilemma


 

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Jim gets an unpleasant call one day from his son Arnold: Dad I am at the ER at the Hospital, There has been an accident, but I am fine. Jim doesn’t bother to ask the details after listening to his sons voice, but rushes to the ER to find his son admitted with a severe burn on his face.

Arnolds chin, nose and a side of his face was burnt in a fire accident. Although he was in pain and severe agony, his shock from the incident wasn’t worn out. It appeared that he was still living through the moments of the unfortunate incident over and over again. The shock and emotional trauma seemed to be more agonizing for him than the physical ones.

After the initial shock and hurt, Jim managed to collect himself and sit beside his son and assure him that he will be fine soon. Once the doctor on duty came by and assured Jim that although Arnold suffered these burns he should recover soon and should be fine, Jim managed to step out for a bit to take a break from the ever busy and frantic sounds of nurses, equipments, monitors and patients.

Outside the ER he found Arnolds childhood friends sitting at the waiting area. Nick and Andrew were Arnold’s best friends since his nursery. Living in the same neighbourhood they practically grew up together. Hence, anticipating a breakdown of events that lead to this accident, Jim sat down beside them and asked them to walk him through the tragedy.

It all began when the three decided to have a BBQ that evening over a charcoal grill. After their initial efforts to ignite the coal using some paper and dry sticks failed, their interest shifted to setting the grill on fire with other things they could find in the garage. Once the fire started, Arnold took the lead in turning this project into a sort of a bonfire. He kept through things into the fire that could combust into a bigger fire balls. The more he instigated the fire, the bigger it became. And finally, out came the infamous lighter gas can. While Nick strolled away from this site and Andrew stepped inside to grab the meats, Arnold decided to throw the butane can into the fire in an effort to spite its fury and watch what happens.

The can exploded on his face. The fire ball was big enough to burn his face and throw him a few feet away. Andrew and Nick heard the sound and rushed to rescue Arnold and got him to the hospital.

Jim was shocked at the stupidity of his usually well behaved and academically smart son. He asked Andrew and Nick how come they didn’t stop or advice him against this. Nick said he got scared, warned Arnold and eventually stepped away from the fire. Andrew said he didn’t expect this from Arnold, but was there immediately out to douse the fire with water and later an extinguisher after he pulled Arnold away to safety. He managed to get Arnold into the car and to the hospital while the fire site was covered with smoke on the yard smelling really bad.

Although Jim was very disturbed by his sons’ behaviour and poor judgement, he couldn’t help think that this becomes a much needed and valuable lesson for his son for the rest of his life.

Let us assume the FIRE in this story represents ANGER. And Arnold was playing with this fire contrary the several advices and blatant facts. The lessons from this incident are as follows:

  • Although Anger is necessary at time, it has to be within a controllable limit
  • Do not play with Anger if you are not willing to withstand the consequences
  • Don’t blame the fire for burning you, blame yourself for instigating the fire
  • If you instigate it and keep throwing things to spite it, the Anger may blow up on YOUR face
  • Smart people walk away from Anger
  • Good people douse the anger with whatever they can
  • The bruises from Anger will bear emotional scars for long
  • If you instigate anger, it is very likely you will be the ultimate victim
  • Once doused, the event will stink for a long time

In our world, Anger is seen as a bad behaviour displayed by the week and cowardly. The person who gets Angry is looked down upon.  There are dire consequences to face if one looses his or her cool due to anger. There are anger management lessons to control and manage anger. But there is very little said about the instigators. The Arnolds of the world and their plight as a victim often takes very little interest. Their stupidity and poor judgement of playing with Anger is often do not get criticised. In fact it is quite the contrary. They are the poor victims and the sympathy lies with them. While the stupidity, hate and displeasure is against the fire to the person who dared to express his or her displeasure with the natural human reaction called Anger.

Anger is certainly a negative behaviour with often severe bad consequences. In anger an individual easily tends to lose logic, and basic common sense. Rage and the need for vengeance takes over sensibilities, intelligence and tact. And it is a proven fact that people get angry for the most trivial and silliest reasons majority of the time.  A study conducted by the British Association of Anger Management a few years ago brought out some interesting statistics:

  • 45% of adults lose their temper at work
  • 33% are not in speaking terms with their neighbours due to anger
  • More than 80% of drivers have been involved in road rage incidents
  • 50% of people have reacted badly when faced with computer problems at work.
  • And (nor surprisingly) 1486 incidents of serious air rage reported by the Airlines.

Of course, the instigators are not interesting enough. The airline staff can continue to instigate and play with fire, annoying neighbours are do the same, and the tech support can always slow down your computer with the much necessary “Upgrade”.  If you react, you will need to control your anger and go to some anger management class while the Arnolds of the world can rake in the sympathies as victims.

So what is this Anger? Well, one popular website, WebMD describes it as: “..a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.”

The website goes further to describe the consequences of suppressed anger as follows:

“Suppressed anger can be an underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Anger that is not appropriately expressed can disrupt relationships, affect thinking and behavior patterns, and create a variety of physical problems. Chronic (long-term) anger has been linked to health issues such as high blood pressure, heart problems, headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems. In addition, anger can be linked to problems such as crime, emotional and physical abuse, and other violent behavior.”

Therefore, it is necessary to express our anger, but the key is the manner we choose to express it. As I have mentioned in my other earlier posts, our life is defined by our reactions to it. Hence it is imperative for us to carefully choose our reactions and what we choose to get angry over.

Over the years, unless instigated by constant probing, irritation, disrespect, emotional and personal punches to my ego, I have learned to control my reactions mostly. But I continue to burst out in rage when I lose control because of bottling up my frustration, hurt and annoyance. After all, it is a normal human emotion that I am trying to suppress. But what amuses me and seems to work often is what Nick and Andrew did in the story above. Walk away from the situation that angers you, or douse it with whatever I can. In most cases these are the things that helped me douse the anger:

  • Reason
  • Humour
  • Logic
  • Learning to be assertive
  • Agreeing to disagree
  • Disconnect from the discussion if it doesn’t concern me personally
  • Stop and try to understand the other persons perspective or reasons

And one of the most important thought process that has helped me manage my anger better is understanding and accepting the fact that we live in an imperfect world. Like ourselves, others tend to do mistakes too. Letting people do their share of mistakes and learning through their pitfalls is one of the grater services you can do to people.  Although it is at times at the expense of your time and emotions, the patience you can muster with some understanding will often go a long way. I am sure many of us can recollect a time when someone chose to overlook our short comings in life. Giving space to people to do mistakes and learn from it often helps them learn faster and more effectively than wasting your time and emotions of trying to advice, coach or instruct them on what is the right thing to do.

My experiences now are lot more subtle and often funny as opposed to anger and dismay. I let the speeding car that comes up and sticks to my bumper pass, only to find them stopped by a cop further down the road. When someone cuts me off on the road, I smile and let them be, and often find someone one else expend his rage and emotion at that inconsiderate driver. I choose to sit down and use the speaker phone mode when talking to customer service. I ask them very politely to explain to me why they think that their response is a reasonable one. Often they end up correcting themselves when you put them through the exercise. I try to walk away from people who are being unreasonable, and return to the discussion after giving them some time to mull over their argument and see reasons themselves. All one needs to do is state the facts and walk away. A reasonable person will often come around. And a smile often solves many things.

There are many things in life that is not worth the trouble of draining your emotions.  Many things in life tend to fix themselves. You need not be the one to take on the responsibility to fix everything that you find wrong. Do whatever you reasonably can to make things better. Unreasonable angry people will eventually learn and find ways to cool down. If they do not they will face the consequences like Arnold.

Life is too short to live as an angry teacher. But it is more gratifying to live it as an eager student.


No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking


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“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” ~Stanley Arnold

Problems! Dont we all have them? Relationship problem, financial problem, technical problem, political problem, etc. The list could possibly never end.  We face problems from the day we begin to breathe. Even the most basic aspects of life begins as a problem. Unable to talk, walk, express moods, communicate, eat, were all once problems. But we didn’t see these as problems. Even in our infant stages of life without adult thinking abilities, we are naturally wired to resolve them. We try, and try again until we over come these “problems”. Perhaps it is our most basic instincts and nature to see each of these problems as challenges and approach them relentlessly as opportunities to grow. Many of us as kids often take the same approach towards over coming many of our challenges too.  We will stay up all night, fight sleep and often skip meals to repeat all the stages till we overcome all the stages until we beat it and finish that video game. And once beat that game what do we do? We go get the next tougher game to beat.

The difference between what we do and what we are capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the world’s problems. – Mohandas K. Gandhi

This wonderful attitude and behaviour pattern surprisingly fades as we grow older. We lose the vigor and the attitude we take towards solving the problems we face. Certainly, the problems do become a bit more complex in life. But sadly our attitude and approach becomes lot weaker. We learn to take on more stress, worry more, procrastinate, escape from problems or find excuses. But what would life be like if we didn’t do these and continues to approach every problem in our adult life as opportunities to solve them? We would invent or develop “solutions”! Solutions to enable people to carry over 10,000 songs in a tiny chip, solutions to fly over 200 people on a 710,000 lbs of aircraft across the atlantic, solutions to over come our common or complex problems in life. The key is how we approach these “problems” in life.

“Cubixrule” is a term I came up with for the process I use to solve many things that I consider a problem. It is rather an unconventional way to approach a problem where I learned to see them as an opportunity to find or develop a solution rather than worry about it endlessly and let it consume my life and health.

The term “Cubixrule” itself was inspired from Rubik’s Cube, which I was introduced to by my older brother when I was about 11 years old. It was the hottest things in the world then. Everyone was talking about the complexities of this puzzle and were racing to figure out a solution. After several weeks I had developed a solution on my own. Ever since I learned to solve it by myself by developing a few short series of algorithms, I began to apply the belief that if I could solve such a complex puzzle, I must be able to solve many other problems as well.

Many years later, my older brother once again got me another puzzle. This time it was another puzzle developed by the same inventor Rubik again. This one was called Rubik’s clock. Along with this puzzle, my brother gave me a copy of a Time magazine in which there was a small article about this new puzzle and how the inventor himself was seeking a physical solution still. The computer suggested a few million possible solutions to this puzzle, but an actual physical solution was not developed yet. Unlike the cube this puzzle was a disc with nice clock faces on either side. The objective was to turn the four dials on the side of this puzzle and get all the nine clock hands to the 12’0 clock position on both sides.

Three and a half days later, I had solved the puzzle and had developed a 17 step solution to solve the puzzle in less than 30 seconds. Once again I applied the “Cubixrule”. By this time, I had formed a definition for this word in my mind. It was a few positive fact based statements to define the thought process to solve a given problem.

Cubixrule – is a thought process where it is believed that: “Every problem has a solution. It is only a problem until a solution is developed by someone. Therefore, every problem is nothing more than an undeveloped solution. And the challenge to be the first one to develop the solution is an opportunity to lead the world to a new higher level”

I have since often reverted to “Cubixrule” when ever I have been pushed against the wall by a problem or stressful issue in life. My mind begins to think of various possible solutions that I can possibly come up with in a short period of time. And strangely after mulling over this phase for some time, I often stumble upon the “Eureka” moment often in the middle of the night or in my dream. This eureka moment is when I come up with a solution that was earlier considered to be unthinkable, unimaginable, impossible, or often simply plain stupid. And it arrives with a sense of confidence, and vigor that never dies until I have tried it and made it work.

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

But “Cubixrule” has its challenges too. Because it involves a level of unconventional thought process, sense of immense confidence in self and determination to come up with a solution that was undeveloped ever before, it may be considered to be stupid by the world around us. Historically, when someone spends their time on doing something that is popularly considered to be as impossible, it has always been considered to be a waste, an effort in vain, and often stupid. And the challenge is not to give in to this pressure. Never!  There may be several trials, errors and failures in Cubixrule. But being persistent, logical, analytical, and realistic is a must if you are determined to succeed. It is also important to always see every failure as a lesson to learn from and build on its teachings. Always remind yourself that the problem on hand is just an undeveloped solution.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~Albert Einstein

It is true when they say that: “Only the ordinary people do the most extraordinary of things”. Every scientist, politician, visionary, inventor, discoverer, musician who gave our world many wonderful things and knowledge were once considered to be ordinary. Each and every one of them faced their hardships, critics, ridicule, depression, stress and obstacles and overcame them by their own respective versions of “Cubixrule”. They each did the extraordinary. The saw the undeveloped solution and set to develop one themselves and eventually proved their world wrong.  If one digs a little deeper into any of the major inventions, processes, solutions that we enjoy today and how they were developed, we will soon learn that each one of them faced and over came their problems by seeking out the respective solutions.

How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself – so always think positively. – Norman Vincent Peale

Likewise, we are all such ordinary people who can certainly do extraordinary things. Many of us many not realize that we have been doing many such things since our childhood. If we were people who fear failure or what people will say or think we would have never learned to walk as a child, we would have never learned to speak, learn, express our feelings, study, face the world, have relationships, grow up and succeed. But we did and continue to do such things all the time. We each faced our share of respective challenges and over came them after a few falls, failures, trials and errors. Some hurdles in life may be small and some very tough, but nevertheless, we  use our internal positive will and energy to over come them. We can move further to solve many such problems in our lives and accomplish many extraordinary things. All we got to do is to see each problem we face with our version of “CUBIXRULE” based on our objectives, will, and the desire to solve it. Be it a financial problem, a relationship, a work related, mechanical, or any problem that life throws our way, the attitude, will, and the determined approach we apply will eventually help solve it. The art is to look at the “problem” as an “opportunity” or a challenge to use all our skills, experience and intelligence to find a solution and solve it!

So, what is your problem?


How your thoughts and actions shape your destiny!


 

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Our destiny hides among our free choices, disguised as the free-est of all.
~Robert Brault

Not so long ago I had a near death experience where my heart failed to produce its electrical pulses and a Pacemaker had to be put in to keep it going. Soon after the few fatal episodes of fainting due to the oxygen not being sent to my brains as my heart failed to beat, I found myself at the ER with a temporary pacemaker placed through one of the arteries through my neck.

In the next few days that followed I was going through a series of test before a permanent pacemaker was eventually going to be implanted. While I lie at the Cardiac ward awaiting the day to come and go soon, I was overwhelmed with thoughts and memories about my life, and the realization of how short life can be. Invariably I did question the creator and why I was chosen to be the 1 in a million to have this problem. I am rebuilding my life again and doing all the right things in life to build upon a new found courage and wisdom where I began to make serious efforts to become a better and positive person. I couldn’t get the “why me?” out of my mind regardless the fact that I fully well was aware that it could have been worse and this was nothing compared to the millions of kids and innocent people who are suffering with much more severe and fatal conditions for no fault of theirs.

The night before the surgery, I took a walk around my ward to relax a bit and ease the anxiety a little. While I was observing the people, the tirelessly serving and caring nurses and watching the pictures that were put up on the walls in the corridor, I was stopped by a couple of the posters that caught my attention that were hanging on the wall by an exit door.

One read this:

Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Needless to say this did have a profound effect on me and my way of thinking about life. Especially after experiencing firsthand how short life can be and things can happen so suddenly and turn your whole life around or end it.

We are often very careless of our own behaviour and the effect it has on the people we interact with. We about life as though we have all the time we can to say and do things without thinking of the effects and consequences that they make have on ourselves and others. As we proceed towards our final destiny we seldom stop to think about ourselves or analyze our actions, deeds and behaviours. We hurt others, become greedy, do and say things without paying any attention to its meanings and how it is perceived by others, do not care about others, and choose to live life as though we have nothing to do with others and this world and we can only care less about them. Yet we rely on others for their compassion, help, assistance, friendships, love, guidance, support, kindness, wisdom, courtesy etc. We expect the world to be fair to us, nature to be kind, resources to be endlessly flowing, weather to be mild, systems to be fair, politics to inconsequential on our individual lives, etc. One day comes along when we will have our kids and younger generations look up to us for our wisdom, guidance, support, assistance, kindness, compassion, empathy and help just as the world we share today does from us as well.  And yet we seldom pay attention to our character. We continue to expect everything and at times demand all that we desire regardless of the fact we are worthy of them or have earned the right to have them.

But if we truly watch out thoughts, pay attention to our words, be mindful of our actions and carefully control our habits, we can certainly build ourselves a fine rewarding character that will pave our success and destiny. For when we are nothing more than just a tomb stone, the world we leave behind shall only remember and love us for our character, and the deeds we have left behind.

The next poster hanging on the opposite wall was a famous quote by William Penn:

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

Need I say anymore?


Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth


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Somewhere in this world today sits a senior executive in a company boardroom secretly disagreeing with the popular consensus of the people in the room because he or she sees something that is morally wrong and greedy objectives. Across their country perhaps sits a young graduate working on his or her secret aspiration to develop the next big software that could possibly change the world of mobile phones. Sitting at the desk in India, which was once popularly known to be a poor country, sits a billionaire working on how to take over an American corporation.  Standing in a line up at the security check in USA, perhaps stands a father watching his young teen daughter being stripped of her basic dignity and being scanned through a machine and people watching her and thinks what can he do or say that could challenge the system and inspire them to develop a less invasive and more sensible process.

No man can cause more grief than that one clinging blindly to the vices of his ancestors.  ~William Faulkner

Similarly today there are those who choose to appease their immediate management and superiors and comply with programs and actions for personal benefits. There is a teen on his or bed thinking of ways to convince their parent to buy them the next greatest feature filled expensive mobile phone. And across the room sits their parent figuring out what can they sacrifice from their personal lifestyle to siphon out a few more hundreds to help pay their credit card bills that they never thought will be a problem one day. And there lays another young uncorrupted mind thinking about the biased information fed by someone who he or she thinks has the knowledge and wisdom and has managed to  entice them to join a popular growing opinion that benefits the propagators more than the activists.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – even if I have said it – unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.  ~Buddha

In this advanced and fast developing world of ours are people who are passive non conformists, those who challenge the popular opinions against harsh objections or possible persecutions and there are those who indulge in ritualistic and monotonous day to day living by conforming to popular norms and processes as dictated by those who they consider are authoritative figures, experts and intelligent people who know what they are talking about.

In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.  ~Bertrand Russell

If one thing statistics, recent and past history has proved to us is that the popular opinions, democratic decisions and expert advice have often been more wrong than right that has resulted are severe and damaging consequences. This is was not true the economists would have foreseen and avoided the crisis that grips the world of finance today, doctors would not have misdiagnosed several critical cases and get sued for their gross negligence, there wouldn’t be contradicting studies from researchers over drugs and food, America would not vote the president for two consecutive terms who drove them to economic crisis for personal and collective personal gains, and all corporations and their respective experts, authorities and top executives will not pay themselves millions of dollars and run their organizations to bankruptcy and  get bailed out by the common mans money. These and several other such examples goes to prove that experts, authoritative figures, popular opinions, and majority decisions are not necessarily the right ones. If anything they have often proved to be grossly wrong and biased. Our dependency and reliance on such figures, people and decisions needs to be based on individual sensibilities, common understanding of morals, values and the responsibility to educate ourselves on unbiased and sound facts before we make our choices. Especially the decisions and choices we make that deeply impact our own personal well being and those who depend on us or seek our wisdom and advice that may influence theirs.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly. –Albert Einstein, in a letter to a professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position

Such individual sensibilities, the power to change their world and surroundings stems from ones personal beliefs, educated opinions and self confidence. Many great scientists, inventors, musicians, politicians, revolutionaries and contributors to society were able to bring the inventions, computers, systems, and many things that has made our lives better were able to do this only by going against the popular opinions, total dismissal, humiliation, objections and over bearing influence of powerful conformists of their times. Also many organizations and corporate are brought to their knees by those individuals who stand by sound morals and principles when the collective top executive decisions are biased and unethical. So are the popular uprising in countries against their once powerful and controlling regimes, and political figures.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

But the challenge for every individual is to develop the courage, self-confidence and the wisdom to seek and form balanced opinions based on sound values, morals and beliefs without prejudice. These qualities are needed by those who choose to progressive evolve themselves, their societies, their world and make positive contributions towards their own prosperity, happiness, achievements and growth. Alternatively one can choose to continue to be ignorant conformists, passive non conformists, and follow popular opinions against their own sensibilities and conscience. Great countries, communities, corporations, families and people are inspired by intelligent, educated and progressive thinking without prejudice. If one feels the need not to confirm to processes, decisions, and opinions, it has to be based on intelligence to truly make positive progressive progress and gains for self and to the world we live in. Weather they are  political beliefs, religious or communal rituals, mundane processes,  or authoritative decisions, each needs to be examined, thought, understood and practiced on intelligent,  educated and balanced principles for positive and progressive living and growth. Allow your individuality to shine based on your sound moral beliefs and progressive attitude. Lead and make a new path for others to follow.

Individuality realized is the supreme attainment of the human soul, the master-master’s work of art. Individuality is sacred. –Frank Lloyd Wright

And a few more quotes:

Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs.  ~Robert Peel

And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will?  When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others?  ~Galileo Galilei

Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.  ~John F. Kennedy

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. – Albert Einstein Quotes


Life is not being who you are…..Constructive Dissatisfaction!


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It is commonly said that we need to be who we truly are. This is of course said in the context that we need not to be what others want us to be or spend a life trying to be someone who we aren’t.  But does being who we are good enough? Is that a right goal for an individual living in a fast, progressive and competitive world?

 

We aren’t perfect people and most of us are far from being what we truly can become. We have several flaws in our habits, choices, behaviours and decisions. Some of us strive to do good and change while many spend a great deal of their lives with the desire to change but without any significant steps taken towards becoming better. A very good friend of mine once pointed out to me that one seizes to progress when they begin to believe that they are right about everything and have the best of opinions. That is absolutely true because one thing that is constant about our lives is “change”. And if we refuse change and accept the fact that we constantly need to keep learning and adapting to the knowledge we gain all through our lives.  If we do not keep learning and keep progressing we invariably get clouded with stagnant opinions, old bad habits, repeating out mistakes, addressing the same drudgery and never making any serious gains in our life. In other words we live a reactive life and fall victims to what life throws at us.

 

But there are those who change the world, do great things within their own little worlds or do great things that leaves a major impact on several others.  These are individuals who think beyond being who they are. They are constructively dissatisfied with themselves. They want to do better, change for the better themselves, they want better things in life, better family conditions, better jobs, better earning potentials, and progress. They fight the status quo, they feel the need to go beyond who they are and live to their fullest potential. These are not people who play the blame game. They take responsibility of their own lives and set out to do something with it. For many of them life is not about work, family, rest time, TV time, Beer time, and socializing time. They make time to do things differently. They take the time out of their lives to think, put the hard work required to change, self improve, learn, and progress. Some of them dream bigger, work harder, think smarter, make sacrifices, and move ahead from changing one aspect of their life at a time to another all through tier life.

 

Life isn’t fair or easy. No one ever has claimed to be so. From the richest to the poorest have their problems and moments of happiness. They each face their set of challenges and shattered dreams.  Many feel trapped with unhappy relationships, stagnant careers, hard working conditions, bills and day to day living. But there are those who do things to fix the unhappy relationships with open and constructive discussions, change careers or take on a diploma or other courses to get better jobs, look for easier jobs, manage their finances better, and progress. They do not accept their conditions. They take life by its horns and make the necessary changes. These are the people who make progress and life happier and accomplished lives.

 

The key to such progress towards a better life begins with constructive dissatisfaction. And this begins with self. Some honest introspection about our choices, character, progress, life and potential often leads to a certain level of realization for self improvement. We often see and judge ourselves by what our potential is, but others see and judge us for what our actions and accomplishments are.  Often there is a huge disparity between the two. If we truly are progressive people who love to live a successful and happier life, we need to bring these two sides of our lives closer. We need to bring our potential and dreams to meet with our actions and behaviours. There is always room for improvement, there is always a better way to do things. The need is to do it. We need to take the trouble to make things better from the inside out. Just dreams, desires, wishes and will always get us the same challenges, excuses, and same conditions of living.  We need to get off the couch and stop finding reasons and excuses for our troubles and dissatisfactions.

 

We need to be constantly constructively dissatisfied if we truly desire to change our lives and become better individuals and live a happier and accomplished life. Ask yourself what are you dissatisfied about today and get up and take action towards changing it today. There is no magical Monday to begin a change. There is no “let me start that diet on Monday”. There is no Monday to begin a positive change. Great ideas and inspiration comes at the darkest times and way past mid night. And the action begins that morning or that very moment. There aren’t any magical prayers or miracles that will help change your situation either. If there was one, everyone would be aware of it and will all be having a great life. There is just one thing that will change your situation: the old fashioned and worn out wisdom of simple “hard work”. So stop being who you are and set out to become who you can be!


Inspiration from Adversity


A few months ago I had watched Conan O Brian being interviewed by Piers Morgan on his show.  Although known for his antics and humor I like Conan for his inspirational quotes and experiences that he shares with his viewers or an audience he is asked to address. His popular address to the class of 2000 at Harvard, his 2011 Dartmouth College commencement address, or just his personal experiences and challenges have all been an inspirational and wisdom filled lessons.

Similarly, reading up several successful peoples biographies have often been a major source of inspiration to me as it has been for several others who seek to learn for other peoples experiences and struggles. As we anxiously seek to read up and learn about peoples success and learn their secrets to their individual fame and fortune, we often end up turning the last few pages of the book with a profound sense of wisdom gained and with an understanding and awe of the person for having the courage and perseverance to overcome their share of adversities and at times impossible challenges to achieve their successes. At times we also learn how their adversities changed the course of their lives to success in the form of new opportunities.

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers. ~Garth Brooks

From such knowledge we collectively learn one single and strong fact about life; that even the greatest of them all never had it easy or without problems. The road to any success for all of them have always been paved with several obstacles, hurt, pain, agony, delays,  misfortune, mistakes, blunders, and countless lessons. But with them also came, wisdom, courage, perseverance, valuable experience and amazing successes. And from learning these facts, it invariably begs the question, how ignorant or arrogant are we if we expect our success without such adversities? What makes us so special for us to expect our lives to be easier and pave our path to success with bed of roses?  Weather we expect success in our individual jobs, marriage, relationships, business, good health, sports, education, finances, parenting, or any chosen goals in life, it is almost certain that we will have to face and overcome our share of challenges.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Facing our challenges is very similar to how a mere stone is turned into a precious diamond. From a dirty stone in mud a diamond goes through a strenuous process of cutting, bruiting, grinding, polishing, and further cutting until all its facets are carved out to dazzle everyone.  Liked wise, our share of grinding, cutting, and hardships brings out our courage, wisdom, wit, will, perseverance and determination that enables us to dazzle others by our eventual success.

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. ~Walt Disney

People who succeed in their lives often learn and reinvent themselves by bring about the changes that are necessary to help then achieve their ambitions and desires. They are quick to identify their faults, self improve, struggle, and get out of their comfort zone towards attaining their dreams. For they quickly learn that they will get the same results by doing the same things over and over again, and that they need to change their ways to behaviour to drive the changes they seek towards success. They do not fear committing mistakes, they do not avoid challenges or risks, they do not choose to escape from their troubles, but they stand and face them courageously, they develop solutions to their problems, they face their adversities by staring back into its eye. Greatness comes from standing up and doing the right thing regardless of the difficulties in life, they never sacrifice their morals, values, principles and righteousness. They instead draw strength from them, they differentiate themselves from others by upholding such characteristics, and they believe in their self and never give up. From the prophets (who are considered to be the chosen ones by the creator), to several kings, scientists, leaders, sportsmen and women, experts, celebrities or businessmen, inventors or politicians, each have to go their share of challenges to succeed. There is no easy path to success.  It is almost imperative and essential to gain the wisdom and experience for everyone to not only succeeded, but to be able to handle their success and manage it with humility and greatness.

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere. ~Frank A. Clark

Alternatively those who choose to escape hardships, run away from their troubles, choose the easier options to avoid stress or risks, do not accept to make sacrifices, choose not to change for the better and take pleasure from their status quo as oppose to challenge it, often find themselves in the same place facing the same troubles time and over again. The same monotony, the familiar problems, the sweet self sympathy, and the embraced bitterness and negativity consume their lives. Every challenge remains a problem as opposed to being an opportunity to develop a solution.  Every adversity is a reason to wallow in self sympathy and depression as opposed to face it and overcome them.  The reasons to their problems become excuses and although they remain undeserving due to their lack of positive action, they become consumed by their growing false sense of self entitlement.

Much of your pain is self-chosen. ~Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet, 1923

So, if you are tired of your troublesome life and the adversities you face, or have resolved to giving up on turning your life around and giving in to failure, then ask yourself what are you doing to overcome your share of adversities? None of us are any different from the other in our abilities and will to change. The difference is in our minds and choices. Everyman was just an ordinary person until they overcame their challenges to do something extraordinary and succeed. No great person or successful person has escaped life lessons and constant need to face their share of challenges and overcome them by learning new facts about life over and over again.  We live only once and life is too short in today’s fast paced and rapidly changing world. Everything we do daily changes our course and destiny. Where do you choose to be? It is your choice and nothing can stop you from getting where you want to go in our life.  When we learn to compare our troubles with those several others who face physical disabilites, health challenges, famine, war, loss of loved ones, etc, we will quickly find shame in voicing our adversities. Remember that to become a greater fighter or a tennis player, it is important to choose an opponent to practice who is better and stronger then yourself to become good. Hence learn to see your adversities as your challenging sparring partner.

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. ~Norman Vincent Peale


Doing extraordinary things in life is an ordinary persons job


Despicable Yet Wonderful You

What is ordinary for some is extraordinary for others. The several daily unsung heroes walk along us battling the same mundane life. But every once in a while they come across an extraordinary situation and opportunity to do something extraordinary, and they jump both feet in while others dont. Thus they break away from the ordinary people and do somethign extraordinary. They are no different from you, but they chose to take the plunge first. They too have very simialr contrains and things to worry about in life, but they set it aside and defy the norm. If you conform to the world and its ways as you have been asked or told to, you will always live just as everyone else and be no different. The limitations, the constrains, the complexities, the hurdles, disappointments, and the balanced amount of happiness will all be limited only by the constrains of your willingness, thoughts and a set of…

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20 simple ways to become a greater person and live happier


Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written in the history of this generation. ~Robert Kennedy

What is greatness and what does it take to become a great person?

It is a state of mind where one feels or is believed to be superior when compared to others who are similar in type and kind. It is a quality an individual posses that is perceived to be better than all others who are comparable. And we bestow this generous title on those who have do something that is considered beyond ordinary or attainable. Or at times greatness is also witnessed in simple and basic human behavior which elevates someone to a higher status than others. An act of charity, sacrifice for another person’s benefit, inspiring others, being of timely help to someone, visiting a friend a relative to spend some time with them and make them laugh, selflessness, or even a simple kind gesture of kindness can all account for small greatness that each of us can achieve. Needless to say the gratifying experience that we enjoy when we do such small things helps us perhaps reflect upon our own purpose and value in our lives too.  It also encourages us to more such acts and spread more kindness to the people around us.

 Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Greatness can be directed towards self. Greatness in character, in thinking, and taking the trouble and initiative to self improve and progress in our lives. Every one of us gives up at some point in our life on the account of hardships, obstacles, lack of resources or support. But we usually come back to it again and try again. If we didn’t try to over come these obstacles and had given up every time we feel or stumbled , we would never have learned to walk, talk, read, learn, survive, educated ourselves, get a job,  love, trust people, and succeed in life. And people, who are very similar to us, went on to achieve small greatness in each of these simple aspects in their respective lives. They chose to run, speak with beautiful words, choose great material to read, leaned lot more, survived difficult times, learned and chose to get better qualification, get better jobs, earn more, love more, forgive and go small but many such greater things in life.

  As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves. ~Mohandas Gandhi

And contrary to popular belief, a person need not be born privileged or with greatness to do great things in life. If we read the lives of many who have contributed the most amazing things to humanity and our world, we will realize that almost every one of them raised from humble beginnings, unthinkable hardships and betrayals. But they were determined, they believed in themselves and persevered to do what they believed in. And they accomplished their small dream or ambition to leave behind an act which we considered to be great. A recent poll conducted by CNN for the Hero of world award was a world-wide revelation of a number of people in our world today who continue to great things in life. People who are not any much different from us. Feeding the poor and needy, clearing mines in Vietnam, helping the war victims selflessly, helping the impoverished, being charitable, simple basic contributions and volunteer work. And there are also those who have made their millions and then spend it all back by being charitable.

 Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness. ~Bo Bennett

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Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children. ~Khalil Gibran

 Greatness lies in many simple things in life. It really does not take much to do these “Small Greatness” in our daily life. 

Here are 20 simple “Small Great things” we can do and make ourselves and the world we live in a better place:

  1. Forgive those who have done wrong. Let each pay for their deeds, learn their own lessons in life from their mistakes. But you forgive!
  2. Inspire someone by your good deeds, actions and character. Do not tell them, but show them and inspire.
  3. Volunteer your time if you can for a noble cause such as raising funds for cancer, packing food at a food bank etc.
  4. Try to lessen your hatred and bitterness by being tolerant and accepting of other people, culture, habits, and beliefs.
  5. Do not hold any prejudice.
  6. Spending time with your children and do not mind being silly for a while.
  7. Appreciate someone for doing a good thing. It only encourages them to do more of the same again.
  8. Take a cause that serves humanity. ie. cleaning the environment, recycle, use less chemicals.
  9. Write a letter or a note to someone, that will make them feel good about themselves and express the joy and pleasure they bring to you. 
  10. Appreciate the people who love you and do things for you. A simple thank you or a hug can often say a lot.
  11. Try not to deprive an elderly person of anything they desire for and you can afford to give. Love, time, care, concern and an occational scoop of ice cream. You will not believe the amount of happiness you will bring to them!
  12. Remember names of the people you interact with and address them by their name next time you meet them.
  13. Help guide someone through a process to help them establish themselves at work or a new city. 
  14. Do not be too proud or too shy to accept your mistakes and say sorry.
  15. Visit a ward for terminally ill and ask how you can help by volunteering just 1 hour from your weekend. You will be amazed to see the value you can bring to such wards and people.
  16. Develop and educate others with balanced and unbiased opinions about issues when they seek your advice.
  17. Help give some hope in their times of need by sharing your experiences and how you managed to overcome them.
  18. Donate the things you do not use such as used clothes, toys, furniture etc that are in good condition to the needy regardless of their color, race or religion.
  19. If you can sponsor a child or a family. The amount of damage caused by the recent wars, famine, natural disasters and political dismay have left many little orphans, families, and people desperate for basic needs and necessities for their simple survival while the world is swamped on paying the debts that fed these very wars, vanity, and corruption.
  20. Pick up the phone and call that brother, sister, parent or that friends that you have held grudges against and put the senseless anger and bitterness behind you. Start afresh and try to enjoy this short life of yours with less hurt and anger. You will certainly feel lot lighter in your heart and be much happier in your life.

 

 “The first test of a truly great man is his humility.” – John Ruskin

 

“There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one’s maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.” – Buck Rodgers

 

“The nobler a man, the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others.” – Cicero


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