Tag Archives: motivation

Stop being the problem and Start becoming the solution


kc


What can a better you do?


A better person inspires better people, makes better families who build better societies, who make great countries, who influences a better world.

ONE SOURCE TO A BETTER YOU: http://despicablewonderfulyou.wordpress.com/

spiritual-awakening5


Lead and shape your destiny this year


Lead and shape your destiny this year.


Are you a “problem solver” or a just another “Whiner”?


 

whiner-dude

A “Solution Driven” life – to live a life of a problem solver

Every sales person who is selling you something today often tries to position their product or service as a “Solution”. It is either a solution to make your life easier, save time, save money, increase you bottom line savings, manage your job better and help you solve that particular problem. And all their products or services is designed to solve what they like to call as a `Problem“. It is a simple yet very persuasive and most popular business selling concept.  The sales and marketing teams design their positioning statement or advertisements to highlight the problems you may face by not using their products and then showcase their solution to eliminate that problem for you. In order for you to buy into their offerings, they also try to build you problem bigger. They seek out your pinch points, develop the issue bigger by making you consider the consequences of not solving the problem, and then make solving that problem an imperative need that you must address.

If you apply this perspective to life, then everyone who can identify a particular problem and develop their own solution to that problem can be successful. We all face several “problems” in life all the time. We worry about the consequences of the problem and get stressed all the time. All we have to do is identify the problem dispassionately as though you are getting paid to find a solution, approach the idea objectively, develop the solution and then apply that solution to that particular problem all the time. This turns into a successful business model if you chose to sell this unique “solution” to everyone who has a similar problem.

Here is another perspective to the same matter. If you look at someone playing a video game objectively, you will soon realize that all they are doing is navigating their characters through a complex obstacle race to get to the next level. They develop strategies, lose their lives, start from the scratch again, learn from their past mistakes, and overcome their obstacles and get to the next level. And as they go higher in their game level the challenges gets more complex and difficult. However, the player relentlessly keeps the fight on until they finally finish that game at the final level. What’s even more interesting is that while they do this the players often dedicate their total attention, time and stay committed to finishing that game. They clock in several sleepless nights, skip food, and forget about all other commitments they may have. And finally all they get at the end of their game is just two simple things. 1) Bragging rights, and 2) The ultimate satisfaction of having accomplished a complex and challenging task. But these two things mean a lot to the player.

Now if you were to apply this perspective to real life again, then you can certainly develop intelligent strategies to navigate through the complex obstacle ridden life by solving each challenge and keep progressing until you accomplish your objective. All you need to do here is keep the same mind set you take to the video game, that is: it is your job to solve the problem by finding the solution to progress further. In doing this, once gain you may sacrifice several hours, skip a few meals, spend sleepless nights, and constantly keep thinking of all the ways you can overcome the challenges. But ultimately, you will develop your own solution to the problem, navigate through it successfully, regardless of the number of times you fail, and eventually progress from one stage in life to another and accomplish the task of solving several complex problems. Now all you do is hold on to the same idea, commitment and sprit for every problem in life and collect several bragging rights for several problems you have found solutions to. And above all, bask in the success of your progress through life.

The funny thing about problems in life is that it makes us often react in a less intelligent manner to it. By default we begin to fear and worry about the consequences of the problems. And we end up spending more time worrying about the consequences and the inconveniences of the problem that we may face rather than spending that time working towards developing a solution.  Also we often carry a fear of failing to develop a solution or developing a solution that may fail. And due to such fears we end up doing nothing or procrastinating. Meanwhile the problem just sits there and doesn’t go away or snow balls into something much bigger. This is exactly where the sales person with the solution loves to be so that he or she can sell their developed solution to you.  Now your need is greater and you will do anything to solve the problem.

But what if you were to own the problem and take on the responsibility to find a solution yourself? Why wait for someone to come by and tap your shoulder and sell you a solution? Not that people are going around tapping people’s shoulders and solving their problems all the time. When it comes to your life problems, you are on your own. You own this business. This is your own video game.  It is your job to apply the right attitude and develop a solution to that particular problem. And if you have played video games, you sure know that you do have the skill set required to play develop the right strategies and solutions to overcome this problem too. All you got to do is take the same attitude to this task.  Weather it is a job related problem, education problems, relationship problem, health problem, weight problem, financial problem or a parenting problem, you sure can learn, read, ask around, and educate yourself to the number of possible solutions there are. Then taken on the responsibility and put in your time and effort to developing a solution to your problem and solving it. You have your browsers on your phones, at home; you have friends, advisers, and many other sources to learn from.  And there are other people who have developed solutions and selling them too. What truly matters is your attitude towards your problems. If you take the responsibility to find a solution, and view your life problems objectively you certainly can solve them.

No one has ever said that life is fair. It isn’t. It is tough to just get by. But many of us plow our way to success and happiness too. Every successful person has faced their share of set backs, problems and devised a way to over come them. The path to success is paved with several hurdles and challenges that we need to over come. You will certainly find a problem in every turn. But it is only a problem until you find a solution. Now regardless of the kinds of problems you may face, choose to become the video game player or the problem solving sales person, and begin to collect the bragging rights of being a problem solver and progress through all life levels with confidence.  After all, solving your life problems if your job. No one is going to come by, hold your hand and walk you towards a solution. Developing your solutions to make yourself successful is your job. All one has to do is to first, get up, and start working towards a solution.

What’s your problem?


A “Solution Driven” life – to live a life of a problem solver


solution

 

Every sales person who is selling you something today often tries to position their product or service as a “Solution”. It is either a solution to make your life easier, save time, save money, increase you bottom line savings, manage your job better and help you solve that particular problem. And all their products or services is designed to solve what they like to call as a `Problem“. It is a simple yet very persuasive and most popular business selling concept.  The sales and marketing teams design their positioning statement or advertisements to highlight the problems you may face by not using their products and then showcase their solution to eliminate that problem for you. In order for you to buy into their offerings, they also try to build you problem bigger. They seek out your pinch points, develop the issue bigger by making you consider the consequences of not solving the problem, and then make solving that problem an imperative need that you must address.

If you apply this perspective to life, then everyone who can identify a particular problem and develop their own solution to that problem can be successful. We all face several “problems” in life all the time. We worry about the consequences of the problem and get stressed all the time. All we have to do is identify the problem dispassionately as though you are getting paid to find a solution, approach the idea objectively, develop the solution and then apply that solution to that particular problem all the time. This turns into a successful business model if you chose to sell this unique “solution” to everyone who has a similar problem.

Here is another perspective to the same matter. If you look at someone playing a video game objectively, you will soon realize that all they are doing is navigating their characters through a complex obstacle race to get to the next level. They develop strategies, lose their lives, start from the scratch again, learn from their past mistakes, and overcome their obstacles and get to the next level. And as they go higher in their game level the challenges gets more complex and difficult. However, the player relentlessly keeps the fight on until they finally finish that game at the final level. What’s even more interesting is that while they do this the players often dedicate their total attention, time and stay committed to finishing that game. They clock in several sleepless nights, skip food, and forget about all other commitments they may have. And finally all they get at the end of their game is just two simple things. 1) Bragging rights, and 2) The ultimate satisfaction of having accomplished a complex and challenging task. But these two things mean a lot to the player.

Now if you were to apply this perspective to real life again, then you can certainly develop intelligent strategies to navigate through the complex obstacle ridden life by solving each challenge and keep progressing until you accomplish your objective. All you need to do here is keep the same mind set you take to the video game, that is: it is your job to solve the problem by finding the solution to progress further. In doing this, once gain you may sacrifice several hours, skip a few meals, spend sleepless nights, and constantly keep thinking of all the ways you can overcome the challenges. But ultimately, you will develop your own solution to the problem, navigate through it successfully, regardless of the number of times you fail, and eventually progress from one stage in life to another and accomplish the task of solving several complex problems. Now all you do is hold on to the same idea, commitment and sprit for every problem in life and collect several bragging rights for several problems you have found solutions to. And above all, bask in the success of your progress through life.

The funny thing about problems in life is that it makes us often react in a less intelligent manner to it. By default we begin to fear and work about the consequences of the problems. And we end up spending more time worrying about the consequences and the inconveniences of the problem that we may face rather than spending that time working towards developing a solution.  Also we often carry a fear of failing to develop a solution or developing a solution that may fail. And due to such fears we end up doing nothing or procrastinating. Meanwhile the problem just sits there and doesn’t go away or snow balls into something much bigger. This is exactly where the sales person with the solution loves to be so that he or she can sell their developed solution to you.  Now your need is greater and you will do anything to solve the problem.

But what if you were to own the problem and take on the responsibility to find a solution yourself? Why wait for someone to come by and tap your shoulder and sell you a solution? Not that people are going around tapping people’s shoulders and solving their problems all the time. When it comes to your life problems, you are on your own. You own this business. This is your own video game.  It is your job to apply the right attitude and develop a solution to that particular problem. And if you have played video games, you sure know that you do have the skill set required to play develop the right strategies and solutions to overcome this problem too. All you got to do is take the same attitude to this task.  Weather it is a job related problem, education problems, relationship problem, health problem, weight problem, financial problem or a parenting problem, you sure can learn, read, ask around, and educate yourself to the number of possible solutions there are. Then taken on the responsibility and put in your time and effort to developing a solution to your problem and solving it. You have your browsers on your phones, at home; you have friends, advisers, and many other sources to learn from.  And there are other people who have developed solutions and selling them too. What truly matters is your attitude towards your problems. If you take the responsibility to find a solution, and view your life problems objectively you certainly can solve them.

It is only a problem until you find a solution. Now regardless of the kinds of problems you may face, choose to become the video game player or the problem solving sales person, and begin to collect the bragging rights of being a problem solver and progress through all life levels with confidence.  After all, solving your life problems if your job. No one is going to come by, hold your hand and walk you towards a solution.

What’s your problem?


Are you a Thinker/Self Learner OR an Unquestioning Follower?


The core problem in life is that too many of us are unquestioning followers rather than intelligent thinkers. If we didn’t depend upon others to learn from, borrow ideologies, ape other people’s beliefs and behaviours or even conform to their opinions, perhaps we will truly progress and be happier. Because when we begin to self learn and gather our own original opinions from life and experiences, our wisdom is truly first hand and reliable based on our own use of intellect and thinking. This is the only way we can bring about change and true progress.

 

This may be a bit difficult to the power brokers and those who barter knowledge for power, but for the free spirited and the eager minds, this is perhaps a revolution against age old wisdom, centuries old prejudice, senseless rituals, and confined wisdom. The trasition from being a conformist to a self learner and thinker will bring about greater changes in self and the world.

Please see this TED talk:

TED Talks


Infectious Experiences – How it makes us who we are.


spiritual-awakening5

 

We all are shaped by our experiences in our lives. And the memories, good and bad have permanently altered our outlook towards our lives and future. We are nothing but a mind over matter that is a product of our experiences under specific circumstances in our lives.  If our circumstances were any different our experiences would have been very different as well and would result in a different memory that will remain with us forever. Perhaps they lie dormant in our minds for long, but only until similar circumstance arises in our lives.  I tend to draw some inspiration from the character Guido; Roberto Benigni played in the movie Life is Beautiful where in the second half of the movie he tries to create a totally different experience of a Nazi Camp for his son by telling him that they are participants in a game to collect points. In the end the son thinks he won the game while his father got killed in the process.

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. ~Author Unknown

Our response to situations, and events in our lives are all shaped by our experiences. Your thought process, our mind set, attitude, aspirations, expectations, and social behaviour are all altered or shaped by our experiences.  Many of our experiences are usually personal in nature and there are several experiences that are conceived. The personal experiences are usually deeper in nature that we hold on to for long because we have endured personally as opposed to the ones that are conceived by other people’s personal experiences or opinions which changes over time and based on our individual personal experiences on that subject. If you spend some time thinking about your experiences that have affected you and your opinions about certain things in life, you will soon realize how fragile your opinions could be as it would have been lot different only if the circumstances of your experience were different.

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. ~Aldous Leonard Huxley

How you react to an experience and your choice of response leaves an almost  permanent code of response to similar future experiences in your memory. You are more likely to response very similarly the next time you encounter a similar experience. Thus what you chose to do with your experiences plays a major factor in your development, understanding, response, opinions and future behaviours. We all  carry several fond memories of your childhood that we often try to recreate for our youngsters or children. We often try to physically recreate the same atmosphere and circumstances hoping our children have the same experiences in their lives. We ape our parents’ behaviours at times in an effort to invoke similar response from our children, we tell the same old stories we grew up with to our children, or create similar environments such as taking them to a beach, playing in an open back yard etc. The core idea being that we hope our children to grow up with the same fond memories we did from our childhood.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. ~Mark Twain

When we realize how important a personal experience is to us and how it has influenced our lives in several ways, and how our choice of reaction to these experiences under specific circumstances has shaped our personality, it will dawn upon us the importance it is for us to create good experiences and circumstances for everyone who comes in contact with us in our lives. What we experience under specific circumstances shapes us and what circumstances and experiences we create influences every individual we come in contact in our lives. It is very similar to how we feel when we have met someone who makes us feel good or bad. And the other individuals’ response or reaction to the experience we bring to them affects us in return.

Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself. ~Thomas Jefferson

We all are made of our experiences that we encountered in a specific circumstance. If an individual behave in a particular way, it is because his or her experience thought him these responses and resulting characteristics were born. We are like them too and they are like is. We all are victims of our life experiences. But we each can change ourselves and others by changing the scars in memories by creating new and positive experiences and circumstances. We can influence opinions, understanding, memories, feelings, responses, love, hatred, prejudice, knowledge and lives by how we chose to behave and the experiences we create for ourselves and others. Thus by making every effort to create a positive interaction and experience every time you speak or contact others you create a better world of pleasant memories, experiences and happiness.

To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being ~ John Lubbock

So, the next time you visit family over holidays, go over to a friends home, take the time to inspire someone who looks up to you,  interact with colleagues at work, meet your grand parents, siblings, nephews or nieces, make effort to create a positive experience for them has leave them with pleasant memories of you and your words and wisdom. For they often have a profound impact in their lives like your experiences have impacted you. You can begin at home with your siblings, wife and children and enjoy a life of pleasant experiences and memories. Your personal experiences are created by how others treat you. Likewise their experiences with you are based on how you treat them. It is a chain of continuous actions and reactions. But to change this link from a negative to a positive one needs to come from you.


How your thoughts and actions shape your destiny!


 

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Our destiny hides among our free choices, disguised as the free-est of all.
~Robert Brault

Not so long ago I had a near death experience where my heart failed to produce its electrical pulses and a Pacemaker had to be put in to keep it going. Soon after the few fatal episodes of fainting due to the oxygen not being sent to my brains as my heart failed to beat, I found myself at the ER with a temporary pacemaker placed through one of the arteries through my neck.

In the next few days that followed I was going through a series of test before a permanent pacemaker was eventually going to be implanted. While I lie at the Cardiac ward awaiting the day to come and go soon, I was overwhelmed with thoughts and memories about my life, and the realization of how short life can be. Invariably I did question the creator and why I was chosen to be the 1 in a million to have this problem. I am rebuilding my life again and doing all the right things in life to build upon a new found courage and wisdom where I began to make serious efforts to become a better and positive person. I couldn’t get the “why me?” out of my mind regardless the fact that I fully well was aware that it could have been worse and this was nothing compared to the millions of kids and innocent people who are suffering with much more severe and fatal conditions for no fault of theirs.

The night before the surgery, I took a walk around my ward to relax a bit and ease the anxiety a little. While I was observing the people, the tirelessly serving and caring nurses and watching the pictures that were put up on the walls in the corridor, I was stopped by a couple of the posters that caught my attention that were hanging on the wall by an exit door.

One read this:

Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Needless to say this did have a profound effect on me and my way of thinking about life. Especially after experiencing firsthand how short life can be and things can happen so suddenly and turn your whole life around or end it.

We are often very careless of our own behaviour and the effect it has on the people we interact with. We about life as though we have all the time we can to say and do things without thinking of the effects and consequences that they make have on ourselves and others. As we proceed towards our final destiny we seldom stop to think about ourselves or analyze our actions, deeds and behaviours. We hurt others, become greedy, do and say things without paying any attention to its meanings and how it is perceived by others, do not care about others, and choose to live life as though we have nothing to do with others and this world and we can only care less about them. Yet we rely on others for their compassion, help, assistance, friendships, love, guidance, support, kindness, wisdom, courtesy etc. We expect the world to be fair to us, nature to be kind, resources to be endlessly flowing, weather to be mild, systems to be fair, politics to inconsequential on our individual lives, etc. One day comes along when we will have our kids and younger generations look up to us for our wisdom, guidance, support, assistance, kindness, compassion, empathy and help just as the world we share today does from us as well.  And yet we seldom pay attention to our character. We continue to expect everything and at times demand all that we desire regardless of the fact we are worthy of them or have earned the right to have them.

But if we truly watch out thoughts, pay attention to our words, be mindful of our actions and carefully control our habits, we can certainly build ourselves a fine rewarding character that will pave our success and destiny. For when we are nothing more than just a tomb stone, the world we leave behind shall only remember and love us for our character, and the deeds we have left behind.

The next poster hanging on the opposite wall was a famous quote by William Penn:

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

Need I say anymore?


Doing extraordinary things in life is an ordinary persons job


Despicable Yet Wonderful You

What is ordinary for some is extraordinary for others. The several daily unsung heroes walk along us battling the same mundane life. But every once in a while they come across an extraordinary situation and opportunity to do something extraordinary, and they jump both feet in while others dont. Thus they break away from the ordinary people and do somethign extraordinary. They are no different from you, but they chose to take the plunge first. They too have very simialr contrains and things to worry about in life, but they set it aside and defy the norm. If you conform to the world and its ways as you have been asked or told to, you will always live just as everyone else and be no different. The limitations, the constrains, the complexities, the hurdles, disappointments, and the balanced amount of happiness will all be limited only by the constrains of your willingness, thoughts and a set of…

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20 simple ways to become a greater person and live happier


Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written in the history of this generation. ~Robert Kennedy

What is greatness and what does it take to become a great person?

It is a state of mind where one feels or is believed to be superior when compared to others who are similar in type and kind. It is a quality an individual posses that is perceived to be better than all others who are comparable. And we bestow this generous title on those who have do something that is considered beyond ordinary or attainable. Or at times greatness is also witnessed in simple and basic human behavior which elevates someone to a higher status than others. An act of charity, sacrifice for another person’s benefit, inspiring others, being of timely help to someone, visiting a friend a relative to spend some time with them and make them laugh, selflessness, or even a simple kind gesture of kindness can all account for small greatness that each of us can achieve. Needless to say the gratifying experience that we enjoy when we do such small things helps us perhaps reflect upon our own purpose and value in our lives too.  It also encourages us to more such acts and spread more kindness to the people around us.

 Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Greatness can be directed towards self. Greatness in character, in thinking, and taking the trouble and initiative to self improve and progress in our lives. Every one of us gives up at some point in our life on the account of hardships, obstacles, lack of resources or support. But we usually come back to it again and try again. If we didn’t try to over come these obstacles and had given up every time we feel or stumbled , we would never have learned to walk, talk, read, learn, survive, educated ourselves, get a job,  love, trust people, and succeed in life. And people, who are very similar to us, went on to achieve small greatness in each of these simple aspects in their respective lives. They chose to run, speak with beautiful words, choose great material to read, leaned lot more, survived difficult times, learned and chose to get better qualification, get better jobs, earn more, love more, forgive and go small but many such greater things in life.

  As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves. ~Mohandas Gandhi

And contrary to popular belief, a person need not be born privileged or with greatness to do great things in life. If we read the lives of many who have contributed the most amazing things to humanity and our world, we will realize that almost every one of them raised from humble beginnings, unthinkable hardships and betrayals. But they were determined, they believed in themselves and persevered to do what they believed in. And they accomplished their small dream or ambition to leave behind an act which we considered to be great. A recent poll conducted by CNN for the Hero of world award was a world-wide revelation of a number of people in our world today who continue to great things in life. People who are not any much different from us. Feeding the poor and needy, clearing mines in Vietnam, helping the war victims selflessly, helping the impoverished, being charitable, simple basic contributions and volunteer work. And there are also those who have made their millions and then spend it all back by being charitable.

 Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness. ~Bo Bennett

~

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children. ~Khalil Gibran

 Greatness lies in many simple things in life. It really does not take much to do these “Small Greatness” in our daily life. 

Here are 20 simple “Small Great things” we can do and make ourselves and the world we live in a better place:

  1. Forgive those who have done wrong. Let each pay for their deeds, learn their own lessons in life from their mistakes. But you forgive!
  2. Inspire someone by your good deeds, actions and character. Do not tell them, but show them and inspire.
  3. Volunteer your time if you can for a noble cause such as raising funds for cancer, packing food at a food bank etc.
  4. Try to lessen your hatred and bitterness by being tolerant and accepting of other people, culture, habits, and beliefs.
  5. Do not hold any prejudice.
  6. Spending time with your children and do not mind being silly for a while.
  7. Appreciate someone for doing a good thing. It only encourages them to do more of the same again.
  8. Take a cause that serves humanity. ie. cleaning the environment, recycle, use less chemicals.
  9. Write a letter or a note to someone, that will make them feel good about themselves and express the joy and pleasure they bring to you. 
  10. Appreciate the people who love you and do things for you. A simple thank you or a hug can often say a lot.
  11. Try not to deprive an elderly person of anything they desire for and you can afford to give. Love, time, care, concern and an occational scoop of ice cream. You will not believe the amount of happiness you will bring to them!
  12. Remember names of the people you interact with and address them by their name next time you meet them.
  13. Help guide someone through a process to help them establish themselves at work or a new city. 
  14. Do not be too proud or too shy to accept your mistakes and say sorry.
  15. Visit a ward for terminally ill and ask how you can help by volunteering just 1 hour from your weekend. You will be amazed to see the value you can bring to such wards and people.
  16. Develop and educate others with balanced and unbiased opinions about issues when they seek your advice.
  17. Help give some hope in their times of need by sharing your experiences and how you managed to overcome them.
  18. Donate the things you do not use such as used clothes, toys, furniture etc that are in good condition to the needy regardless of their color, race or religion.
  19. If you can sponsor a child or a family. The amount of damage caused by the recent wars, famine, natural disasters and political dismay have left many little orphans, families, and people desperate for basic needs and necessities for their simple survival while the world is swamped on paying the debts that fed these very wars, vanity, and corruption.
  20. Pick up the phone and call that brother, sister, parent or that friends that you have held grudges against and put the senseless anger and bitterness behind you. Start afresh and try to enjoy this short life of yours with less hurt and anger. You will certainly feel lot lighter in your heart and be much happier in your life.

 

 “The first test of a truly great man is his humility.” – John Ruskin

 

“There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one’s maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.” – Buck Rodgers

 

“The nobler a man, the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others.” – Cicero


Change into greater beings


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“For things to change, you’ve got to change. For things to get better, you’ve got to get better.” ~Jeff Olson

As time passes and we grow from one stage to another we often make some subtle and some major changes to ourselves. We upgrade our wardrobe to the current trends, we upgrade our gadgets, car and several other things as we feel necessary. Similarly, we also grow into more mature and understanding beings. Our perceptions change and so does our demeanor. All such changes are made almost involuntarily. Many a times, we do not even realize these changes in ourselves. Perhaps, it is accepted as a natural progression of life.  But seldom do we change ourselves voluntarily in an effort to become better people.  We take great comfort in being highly critical of others and the world around us. We also take great pride and pleasure in pointing out the mistakes in others and offer solicited or mostly unsolicited advises to people on how to improve themselves and where they are going wrong. But never do we reflect upon our own actions and deeds. How often do we truly analyze our own character and personality in order to make ourselves a better person?

“Character is a quality that embodies many important traits, such as integrity, courage, perseverance, confidence and wisdom. Unlike your fingerprints that you are born with and can´t change, character is something that you create within yourself and must take responsibility for changing.”  ~Jim Rohn

 As human beings we need to evolve continuously by making progress by making positive changes to our  behaviour and attitude towards life and people and above all ourselves. When we truly indulge in developing ourselves to form good and positive personalities, we begin to feel different and see the world in a better light.  This positive personality trait is as infectious as any virus can be and it only helps make our immediate surrounding and eventually the world we live in a  much more positive and happier place to be. As intelligent human beings sharing this world and resources and having been created alike, we cannot afford to shrug our responsibilities to the societies we live in and our fellow species. If not anything, we can at least make genuine efforts and help ourselves to become positive people and uphold good values and make positive contributions to our world. In order to do this we need to begin first with ourselves, then our immediate home and family, then our close friends and then the world, in this particular order. And this change we intent to bring into others should not be forced, asked or told, but rather such changes should be inspired by our character, deeds, actions and behaviours.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ~Leo Tolstoy

Our individual characters and behaviours often influences our out look towards our world and surroundings. When we are in a positive mood we feel that we can face any challenge in this world. When we are in love, we promise to move the mountains if need be to get our love. And when we are depressed, even the simplest of problems appears as a burden, and simple hardships makes us feel we are being victimized.  We also take comfort in assuming that the hardships in life are unique to us. I myself have spent a lot of my time wondering “why me?”. As my older brother so eloquently puts it, “wallowing in my sorrow like a hippo in a swamp”.  We easily pull out a list of reasons to not improve ourselves and become better people. We would rather blame our surroundings, the world and the dog two doors down for our problem and misery but ourselves.  What we make this world out to be is from our very own mind and thinking. And how we choose to accept this world or change it is also by our own mind. But this begins with making ourselves better. If we look within ourselves and make the necessary positive changes, our outlook and attitude will change. It is all within. The wise men and women of the past have said it all. They have done and accomplished the impossible and left behind their legacy which speaks of their hardships, and challenges and how they overcame the unthinkable oppositions and hardships to change themselves and the world around them.

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.  The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.  ~Harold Wilson

If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are.  For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained.  Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.  ~Saint Augustine

So how can be become a better person? Before I share some of my points which is not anything new though, I would firstly like to list a few well-known individuals who changed their world by changing themselves first. They too fought against their share of hardships and hurdles and changed their attitude and character to accomplish the impossible. All of these individuals over came their hardships, rejections, stifling obstacles and yet persevered to over come them and achieve things that seems impossible once. This was perhaps accomplished due to their persistent drive to change themselves, their thinking and attitude towards their unwavering goal and belief in their own abilities and skills.  They did not give in to criticism or rejections, but took them in their stride, analyzed their mistakes and made the changes they needed to over come their faults and pave their own way to success. Their lives should stand as pillars of proof for every one of us that we are not unique in facing obstacles, hardships or rejections. Instead it is perhaps a very necessary process that we need to face to help us become better and enable us to achieve greater things in life. This only goes to show us, that it is all within our will, determination and mind to self improve and change the world around us:

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Abraham Lincoln – One of the most amazing and often referred to.  Abraham Lincoln, lost his fiancé, had a nervous breakdown, first went into politics at the age of 23 when he campaigned for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly and failed. He was defeated in 8 elections. He once also opened a general store which failed after only a few months.

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Robert M Pirsig – His well known book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” was rejected by 121 publishers. Since finally being published in 1974 it has gone on to sell millions of copies in 27 languages.

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Michael Jordan – A well publicized and well known fact about the most famous name in basketball was actually cut from his high school basketball team.

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 John Wayne – Before his successful acting career he was rejected from the United States Naval Academy.

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Steven Spielberg – This household name dropped out of high school and applied to attend film school three times but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average.

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Beethoven – His music teacher once told him that he was a hopeless composer.

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Harry S. Truman – This former US President was rejected by the US Military & Naval Academies due to his poor eyesight. At one point he was a clerk in a newspaper mailroom, and also an usher in a movie theater.

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Babe Ruth – This baseball legend struck out 1,330 times.

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Henry Ford – The Ford Motor Co was Henry Ford’s third business, the first two didn’t work out.

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Winston Churchill – This former British Prime Minister did poorly in school and had a speech impediment in his early years.

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Marilyn Monroe – Marilyn Monroe spent much of her younger years in foster homes. One of her first jobs, during the Second World War, was inspecting parachutes. Producer told her she was “unattractive” and could not act.

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Walt Disney – He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for lacking in ideas.

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Soichiro Honda – The founder of Honda was turned down for an engineering job by Toyota after World War Two.

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Charles Darwin – His father told him he would amount to nothing and would be a disgrace to himself and his family.

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Albert Einstein – He learned to speak at a late age and performed poorly in school.

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Thomas Edison – As a boy he was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything.

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Isaac Newton- He failed at running the family farm and did poorly in school.

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The Vice President of Columbia told this actor that he was never going to make it in the business. The actor? – Harrison Ford

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Turned down by a recording company saying “We don’t like their sound and guitar music is on the way out” They were talking about the Beatles

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Were told by Publishers that “anthologies didn’t sell” and the book was “too positive” Rejected a total of 140 times. The book? Chicken Soup for the Soul. It now has 65 different titles and has sold over 80 million copies all over the world.

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Was not allowed to wait on customers in the store he worked in because “he didn’t have enough sense” – F. W. Woolworth

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Auditioned for All My Children and got rejected – Julia Roberts

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Received 30 rejections and the author threw it in the trash. Luckily his wife fished it out again and encouraged him to resubmit it. The book was Carrie – the author Stephen King

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Gandhi, gave up on this wealth, and many worldly things to first change his attitude and behaviour. Then he set on to change his fellow country men. And thus achieved the impossible and changed the world for ever.

“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” ~ James Gordon

There are several things we can do as individuals to develop a good positive personality that will attract others to us in a positive manner, help us achieve more, develop self-confidence and above all eventually inspire our immediate surroundings.

First, one has to be honest to themself when it comes to analyzing their own life. They need to indulge in self-analysis and see for themselves how does their current personality compare. One has to take time to truly understand their rights, wrongs, character, strengths, weaknesses, and identify the need to make the necessary changes in a genuine effort to change.

Next, be positive. Try to look at life with some humor and dignity. Smile and laugh at things, adopt a humorous perspective to things as and when you can. Laugh, be happy, share a joke or two, this helps you learn to take things positively and handle stress better. It is true when they say a laugher a day keeps the doctor away. It improves your health, good for your lungs, and heart. If you are a happy person wearing a smile always, your happy disposition usually will attract people to you, and you will always be perceived in a much better light and loved by all.

Then, show your positivity and expresses it positively as well, by actions and behaviour. Be helpful and offer a helping hand to your fellow human beings. Like yourself each of us need some help or the other at times in life. Let your actions show the world of your mind and heart. Show it in actions by helping one and other. Be purposeful and useful to others. The gratitude and sense of purpose you feel by helping others is far greater. It in turn builds your own self-esteem and gains more respect and appreciation from others.

And last but certainly not least, learn to and strive to become a better human being by the practice of balanced self-criticism in an honest effort to self improve. Let go of ego and pride. Be humble, be polite, be kind to others, express appreciation and appreciate any good you find in others. Become the change you like to see in the world you live. Become positive, become happier, do greater things for greater cause, help others, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. Be human.

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.” ~Socrates

Realize your true, authentic self. Remember that your personality and character is nothing more than how you react, act and interact in this world. How people see you and identify you by your good attributes. And this personality stems from your innermost thoughts, perceptions, ideas, and eventual actions and expressions. Allow your character to be developed, let it progress, let it be unique and make it great and make it yours.


Selflessness without prejudice


 

 

My Dad had a small plaque on his desk forever until he passed away. It said simple words that he preached as well and instilled it deep into my mind which had eventually become a core formation of my character and happiness in my later life helping me through some of the darkest hours of my life.

It said;” Blessed is he, who expects nothing” in return for his good deeds and had a monotone picture of geese flying in their standard “V” formation across a cloudy sky.

He explained to me the plaque and the picture in great detail once. He explained to me that the Geese are migrating birds who fly for thousands of miles south especially in fall/winter. Further, they fly in a V shape because in such a formation it helps the birds to gain a great span and distance with little effort. The upward thrust produced by the bird in the front helps the following birds to glide into the air waves created with very little physical effort. However the leading bird takes the brunt for leading the flock. But very soon the leading bird is often taken over by one of the following bird as a gesture of good will and good deed to give it some rest, and thus they keep doing so until the journey is completed.

Also, fall is a season where many of us venture out for hunting these very birds.  And when one of these birds is shot, or hurt, two birds immediately break from the formation and follow it down to protect it or give it comfort and company until it dies.

Similarly, they all glide down to the same lake to find food, share and eat from the same pool or pond and migrate to the same place, and work towards the same goal and fly towards the same direction all the time.

But what is surprising is also, is that they do all this in a team spirit helping each other with absolutely no expectations from the other what so ever. Each respects the other, helps the other, and breaks away from the formations to help the other and get back into other formations in their never-ending cycle of life without any expectations of each other.

Like wise, if we, a far developed species and a superior race amongst Gods creation who can communicate, interact, emote, feel, and are physically advanced, adopted the same selfless nature and worked towards the same goal and helped each other expecting nothing in return, our individual lives may be much happier, purposeful and gratifying.

The idea is a basic one where you help one and other and work towards the same direction for mutual benefit. But the principle is to respect each other, help each other, give the space to each other, protect each other, and benefit from each other while doing so. And the wisdom is to do it because we care for others and the divine creation as we would want them to care for us if and when we need their help. And we need to do it regardless of their caste, creed, religion, nationality or color. Especially when helping others or being charitable, we need to evolve into greater people to be human beings first and learn to look beyond our prejudice and notions of the man-made faith systems, and beliefs . Just as the other species who we consider lesser than us do. 

Therein, in such a living one can easily find happiness, purpose and fulfillment in life and if once can think beyond themselves, such acts of selflessness and good may bring greater meaning to others and make their lives better. For he who does good, and expects nothing shall never be disappointed, but only rewarded for his deeds in a time and place and method that is unknown to us.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing in return for his good deeds”

Next time you see these birds fly across the sky, take a minute to watch them all flock together as a team in the same direction in the same old V formation and appreciate them for being wiser and nicer than many of us. Perhaps we could be as selfless and caring as they are without prejudice.


Against the Odds to Success!


 

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“If you are going through hell, keep going” – Sir Winston Churchill

It can’t be said any better in the simplest way. Just keep going, do not stop, turn back, deviate, or give up, but just keep going until you get out of it. Many of us are faced with many heart breaking or disappointing situations in our lives. It is how life works. Perhaps it is a necessary evil in our lives that makes us value happiness and appreciate our other blessings in life. Also I do understand that how people act or react to each situation is unique to their individual personalities and experiences and thus I am not generalizing any set universal solution or approach to help stop a self-destructive process due to any given incident.

I have experienced this type of behavior first hand a few times in my life and struggled with this phase myself with all that I could to get out of it. I did loose a huge part of my life, emotions, peace, mental balance, and valuable time doing so, but I survived. Now that I am out of that in my life, I can’t help but see it as an escape from a high security prison, where I was being incarcerated for something I never did or deserved this punishment for. But now that I have cried my way out of it, dug the deepest trenches, crawled out of the darkest tunnels and after immense struggle I see the light of day and freedom, I feel it has been an experience I need to share. I have come across many people while I was going through my difficult times and many after my struggles that I see are still caught in their shock, sorrow, and disbelief of being in a situation as such and finding it very hard to see what they can do to get out of these situations in life.

I have learned several lessons in the process and learned firstly to analyze and understand my actions and reactions to each and every situation in life. I learned that I may not be able to understand why others did what they did and how can they be so in humane and ruthless in their actions. But the only thing I had full and exclusive control over is my actions, reactions, determination, persistence to succeed, ability to think and my will to defend myself from such things and recover from a fall. This further led me to see each and every single option I had at my disposal that I could have chosen to avoid these incidents from happening. But if only I had the wisdom, and smarts to separate my emotions from my rationality I could have avoided a lot of problems in my life. It is strange how life finds a way to warn you about things that could go wrong and we somehow see it but never realize it in good time. I have spoken to many others who have experienced hardships and betrayal in their lives or even those who have taken wrong decisions in life and if they too where able to see the signs of warnings but were blinded by their emotions. And to my surprise almost each and every person did see these signs and chose to avoid and ignore them as they let their emotions override their rational thinking and common sense. And there were those who saw such sings but still chose to continue because they places a very high level of trust in luck, goodness within people and fate.

But I realized that when we face such difficult times, we let our emotions take over our intelligence. We begin to feel sorry for ourselves and take the situation as though it was a failure on our part. But I also realized that it was absolutely okay to fail in our lives. It only takes such failures and set backs for us to build ourselves stringer and go further in our lives. Failure is nothing but often the first step to success. If you never fail, you will never succeed truly. The best of horsemen have often broken a bone or two. But they became the best because they chose to get back on that horse as soon as they fell. It is in the darkest of hours and times that the best things in life were created and the brightest ideas were born. And what is more amazing is that the simplest and most ordinary of men came up with these greatest ideas and creations. But the fact remains that it was often from the darkest of times and the severest of hurdles, obstacles and criticisms the most ordinary of men came through with the greatest of creations, inventions and ideas.

I am listing a few famous failures below. At one point the idea of these people reaching the heights they have reached would have seemed absurd, but they too faced their share of hardships and many of their ideas, spirit and courage were born out of these hardships. Many didn’t just fail, they failed in spectacular fashion and they failed several times. They didn’t for once accept the negative and give up saying that are imperfect human beings, but instead they took pride and had belief in their capabilities, abilities, drive, courage, and the will to stand up again and fight till they got what they wanted. They were persistent to succeed, had the patience to keep failing, learning from their failures, holding on to their hope, keep trying and wait for their time to come and then some more to succeed, and be determined regardless of consequences. 

 

Abraham Lincoln – One of the most amazing and often referred to. Former US president Abraham Lincoln, lost his fiancé, had a nervous breakdown, first went into politics at the age of 23 when he campaigned for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly and failed. He was defeated in 8 elections. He once also opened a general store which failed after only a few months.

 

Robert M Pirsig – His well known book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” was rejected by 121 publishers. Since finally being published in 1974 it has gone on to sell millions of copies in 27 languages.

 

Michael Jordan – A well publicized and well known fact about the most famous name in basketball was actually cut from his high school basketball team.

 

 John Wayne – Before his successful acting career he was rejected from the United  States Naval Academy.

 

Steven Spielberg – This household name dropped out of high school and applied to attend film school three times but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average.

 

Beethoven – His music teacher once told him that he was a hopeless composer.

Harry S. Truman – This former USP resident was rejected by the US Military & Naval Academies due to his poor eyesight. At one point he was a clerk in a newspaper mailroom, and also an usher in a movie theater.

 

Babe Ruth – This baseball legend struck out 1,330 times.

 

Henry Ford – The Ford Motor Co was Henry Ford’s third business, the first two didn’t work out.

 

Winston Churchill – This former British Prime Minister did poorly in school and had a speech impediment in his early years.

 

Marilyn Monroe – Marilyn Monroe spent much of her younger years in foster homes. One of her first jobs, during the Second World War, was inspecting parachutes. Producer told her she was “unattractive” and could not act.

 

Walt Disney – He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for lacking in ideas.

 

Soichiro Honda – The founder of Honda was turned down for an engineering job by Toyota after World War Two.

 

Charles Darwin – His father told him he would amount to nothing and would be a disgrace to himself and his family.

 

Albert Einstein – He learned to speak at a late age and performed poorly in school.

 

Thomas Edison – As a boy he was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything.

 

Isaac Newton- He failed at running the family farm and did poorly in school.

 

The Vice President of Columbia told this actor that he was never going to make it in the business. The actor? – Harrison Ford

 

Turned down by a recording company saying “We don’t like their sound and guitar music is on the way out” They were talking about the Beatles

 

Were told by Publishers that “anthologies didn’t sell” and the book was “too positive” Rejected a total of 140 times. The book? Chicken Soup for the Soul. It now has 65 different titles and has sold over 80 million copies all over the world.

 

Was not allowed to wait on customers in the store he worked in because “he didn’t have enough sense” – F. W. Woolworth

 

Auditioned for All My Children and got rejected – Julia Roberts

 

Received 30 rejections and the author threw it in the trash. Luckily his wife fished it out again and encouraged him to resubmit it. The book was Carrie – the author Stephen King

So, what do we learn from these examples? Should life throw a curve ball at us, do we accept defeat and let ourselves sink?  It is very important for us to learn to accept defeat and failure as a part of our lives.

We will be defeated in love, work, school, sports, relationships, trust, faith and almost everything that we lean on. It is absolutely possible and expected for a person to be betrayed, cheated, let down, hurt etc. We are dealing with many such imperfect people who have chosen the negatives over the positives and live their life based on negative facts. They may have chosen and given up on becoming better human beings and the will, drive, desire and decency to question themselves and their actions. They may prefer to blame the world, weather, and the dog for their choice and lack of actions. Do they inspire you? Are such people of any value to anyone? Are they valuable to themselves? Would you want to be like them?

It is okay to fail, fail, and fail again. But what is important is that you tried. And what is even more important is that you either correct yourself, analyze your reason to fail and try it again after you correct it, or stop doing the same mistake over and again. As they say, one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. This is true and applicable in almost every aspect in your life. Especially in relationships that usually is one of the main factors that suck out the best out of our lives. Instead of dwelling over a failed relationship and taking out the anger on the world or yourself, or even blaming yourself for something you have or have not done, stop that process. Instead, analyze, realize you’re a human being, correct yourself, learn from your mistake and move on. The importance and absolute emphasis is NOT TO BE AFRAID OF FAILURE! I can’t stress enough of this one single factor. Every single great and successful persona will tell you this as they too have only succeeded after having failed. The reason they succeeded is because they failed, fell hard, picked themselves up, dusted themselves, nursed their wounds and moved forward again. They kept trying, learning from their failures and kept moving forward until they succeed. In work, at home, in business, in relationships, in love, in ambition and life they kept moving forward until they achieved success and then took great pleasure to cherish and enjoy their resulting rewards.

But if you were wronged and your set back or failure is a result of someone who hurt you or cheated you? Do not be petty minded, and low in your thinking by wanting to hurt the other person in return. Revenge is a weak and cowardly act. This is one of the major factors many young people waste and destroy their lives in, taking revenge or spite someone as a comeback. Instant retaliation is a sign of weakness. The need for instant retaliation is an act of those who are small in thinking and they do it as an immediate need to nurse their hurt ego.

Revenge which can also be referred to as vengeance. It is is a low and inhumane act to hurt a person or group as a response to a real or perceived grievance. Usually the only goal or intention of a revengeful act is forcing the person who is perceived as the wrongdoer or someone who has hurt you, to suffer the same or greater pain than that which was originally inflicted. Revenge, although sweet for that moment, the guilt, shame and pain of recoil lasts a life time. It is greater to forgive and forget it is perhaps better to forgive and not forget the lesson you learn for the experience. I have to my shock and fear witnessed what is commonly known as Karma. For no one escapes their deeds. As an outsider we may not see it or realize nature’s way of getting even with ones deeds, but it sure does happen. For when it does happen, the wrongdoer will surely realize the reason and at times appear in your life again only to ask for forgiveness. This I have seen, experienced and totally believe in. If you are truly right, and you were innocent, the truth shall prevail and those who wronged you shall pay in a very natural way in this life time when it shall hurt them the most and when they shall realize it most. If one takes the time to follow all the atrocities in the world, we see some sort of eventual justice being done often. Leaders who were tyrants often end in the most dramatic and tragic and disrespectful manner. Call it karmic justice for their deeds or what so ever, but as human beings we learn to forgive looking at their sad state. If law and society doesn’t get them, nature will. It is important for one to learn to make peace and move on.

Some famous Quotes on revenge:

“An eye for an eye only ends up making the whole world blind.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

“Hatred is the coward’s revenge for being intimidated.” -George Bernard Shaw

 

‘Tis more noble to forgive, and more manly to despise, than to revenge an Injury.” – Benjamin Franklin

 

Revenge converts a little right into a great wrong. – German Proverb

 

The rarer action is, in virtue than in vengeance.  – William Shakespeare in The Tempest

“The best Revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra

 

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” – Confucius

Next, do not be cynical about life. As Oscar Wilde once said about being a Cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing”. Take a step back; analyze first your decision, your reactions and what you could have done to avoid the situation. Next be forgiving and learn from this mistake. Avoid such individuals or situation next time around. And above all, move forward, and progress in life. In a few years you will not even remember this event or may be too busy with other priorities in life. This experience or phase will just be a bad memory of the past. But this happens only when you will move forward in life as opposed or regressing and letting a bad even take over your life and control your future. Do not be negative about a mishap in life.

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Learn to recognize your positivity, your smartness, your ability, your skills, your successes and count your blessings. Look around at the people who love you, care about you, and genuinely wish well for you. If you reach out for a stranger, even he or she will lend you a hand. Believe in good and fairness. It does exist. Look back at the things you have done in your life that had gained you recognition, appreciation and love. Realize that was you the same person today. Each of us has some skill or ability that is unique to us. Identify and develop yours. Give, be generous, and smile. One of the first things I did when I got divorced was to sponsor a child in a war-torn country. It was a very gratifying act knowing that I too could be valuable and helpful to someone.

Understand that bad things happen to every single person on this earth. From the richest people to the poorest. Some times the poorest have to cope with the severest of tragedies as well. It is a natural occurrence since life began on this planet. One can learn from history that kingdoms, great cultures, and many great individuals have been devastated by bad things happening to them. Even what seems to us a fairytale wedding, some of those couples end up in broken marriages, and natural disasters wipe out whole families or cities. Compare your life with them and see how blessed you are still. Don’t dwell on the tragic things that happen to you, you are not the only nice person suffering, there are several more like you. Look towards your future, and progress. Learn to take bad things in stride and be aware. Be watchful, try to develop your ability to expect and defend yourself from such happenings in life. Be prepared and smart at all times.  

Lastly, control yourself and your urge to become a lesser and disgraceful human being by acting like one. Try to grow up and take a mature and graceful stance on matters in life. Do not stoop low to a level of a person who acts poorly. Remember that often silence and control is a much smarter way to respond to situations. We seldom have to respond immediately, but it sure can always be polite and we can always ask or take time to react after thinking. Responding in rage, anger, harsh words and stooping to the other person’s level often will lead you to self-destruction and actions that you surely will eventually regret.

So, when you see yourself in an auto self destruct mode, or being wronged, or failing in your trials to achieve or accomplish something that is important to you, please take efforts to do the following and it is only in your own ability and will to do it:

Realize you are destroying yourself, your future, and your life for the amusement and entertainment of others who do not care about you but at the expense of your loved ones and yourself.

Know that at times what you think is betrayal or a loss when someone walks away from you; it could actually be for your own good as they secretly know something about themselves are too ashamed to share it with you for your own good.

Do not question or try to analyze the motives of others when you are wronged. Only they truly know their motives, reasons and let them justify it with their poor reasoning abilities or suffer from eventual guilt.

Analyze your actions, reactions and mistakes. Think of the warning signals you ignored, your reactions to them, your action, your mistakes that you could have avoided or controlled and learn from them. Remember them, and do not repeat them.

Do not indulge in revenge, retaliation, and petty behavior. Show class, decency, pride, and maturity. Walk away, be calm, know in your heart that nature will surely teach them a lesson and you may or may not see it. There is a very good chance they will come back to you and apologize. Forgive them but never forget your mistakes.

Do not indulge in negativity. Be positive and choose to move ahead in life for better things. Know that bad things happen to everyone. Be it a president, a millionaire, a poor person, a celebrity or an unknown. Each move on. They pick themselves up, dust themselves, learn from their fall and move on only to become stronger and smarter next time and win more respect and admiration for how they handled their situation.

Others can tell you things all you want to hear There are good friends, family, professionals etc all to advice you on how to rebound or what to do. Many a times you yourself know what needs to be done and what are the right things to do. The challenge is to CHOOSE to do it. To get up and take action.

Always remember that it is absolutely normal and okay to fail. Not just once, but twice or three times. But learn from your mistakes and correct yourself. You need to stop yourself from failing. You do it in video games; you do it in love, friendship and many tasks that interest you. You just have to choose, stop, refocus and make genuine efforts to win and succeed.

Be human. Be humble; recognize others are human beings too. People are usually product if their experiences and circumstances and so are you. But the decision to let those affect you negatively is yours. And the reaction is your choice. Be it positive or negative it is your choice and you will face the consequences of your choice.

Word hard to develop and carry the attitude to succeed, accomplish, do great things, and achieve greater goals and do greater deeds in life. Have the attitude and aptitude to inspire, lead, protect, defend and shine in your life as good, decent, and fantastic human being.

Solidify your ability to endure, persevere and keep trying with just one unwavering goal and aim to accomplish your desire and the resulting rewards. Be it to get a qualification, a degree, an exam, a profession, a task in a job, an ambition, a deed for your loved ones, or even being patient for the sake of your loved ones happiness. 

Above all, aspire to win. Inspire others by winning against the odds. Show them how it is done and do it well. Motivate others by setting an example on how to come out of the darkness. Share your successes and see it help others.

Remember this always: If you fail in one thing it doesn’t mean you are bad in everything. You could be great or the greatest in one particular thing in life if you wish. And you are always lot more worth than you think of yourself to be. Take on a simple commitment like adopting or sponsoring an innocent poor child who could be a victim of poverty, war, or a natural disaster. Realize the simple great things you can do every day in your life and make it worthwhile.

Your life is nothing more than the choices you make in your reactions to everyday events!


Lessons Life Teaches Us


 

The feeling of true success is a feeling of pride of your character and deeds when you are alone. It is not your material possession or praise showered upon you by others. It should be rather measured by the love, respect and care you have invoked in others for your character than your wealth. It is a feeling that invokes humility in you rather than arrogance.

We often loose what we need if there is clutter. Such is our life. If we clutter our life with to many things that we do not need, we will loose the ones we do and often when we need it most. It is the difference one experiences in entering a house filled with artifacts, ornaments, and lavish décor, from walking into a large empty clean space with natural light. Live a life of simplicity and freedom. The experience is more gratifying.

Remember that every person you meet in life is like a book. The cover is always designed to be pretty and attractive to impress. Even our cover is such. The material of any person in life is only realized over time and several pages later. Give time for every relationship to grow. Picking up any book cover that catches your fancy could leave you with a burden of a lot of bad material and time analyzing them. Reading one book at a time will give you the wisdom over time to know what to look for in a book sooner.

 The bitterness of honesty is better than the sweetness of a lie. To deliver honesty is lot more easier, as it is a word that is given away like a gift to our world and which makes us feel lightened in heart and mind. But a lie spoken is a burden pushed into our world that shall always return to its source for validation by guilt.

Material and money is not a source of happiness for your living but a mere illusion of it. And getting into debt to satisfy a momentary desire for this illusion takes a heavy toll on mind, body and life over an extended period of time. Rather seek true happiness that lies in relationships, love, generosity, forgiveness, character, laughter, and several small experiences in life.

Love everyone one you can. At times, try to love your enemy too. Because once you loose the people who are part of your life, you will miss them lot more than you can imagine. This is true because we are made up of all the experiences we have had in our life, and every single person who we have interacted with have shaped us in one way or another. Cherish their momentary purpose in your life and let them be. Loosing someone from your life will always leave a wound that can never be healed.

It is absolutely vital for us to learn to say “No” in life. By taking on more than our capacity to satisfy one person, will always result in hurting another or your self. Everyone and everybody has limits in life. Let no one exceed theirs and overflow onto you nor you do the same unto others. It is wiser to say “No” and be happy than say “Yes” and get stressed.

Life constantly keeps throwing experiences at you. Like a number of balls being thrown at you. There are fast ones, slow ones, curved ones, spinning ones. It is your choice what you want to do with them. You can dodge them, catch them, kick them, hit them out of the park, block them, or hit them back in any direction you choose. The outcome of the game of life is how and where you hit these balls. It is in your reaction. Think before you react because it is nothing but your reaction that truly shapes your life.

We do many things in life against our own sensibilities and other people’s advice. And we choose to do them because we hold on to our will and determination to do so. When we can do such mistakes stubbornly why can’t we do the right things in the same way? We must learn to apply the same attitude, determination, will and courage we apply to do what is wrong to do things that is right and helps us become better people. These are the attributes that helps us make better choices in life. When we align the right attitude, determination and will with our better choices in life, success becomes inevitable!

Life is truly beautiful. It is we who have made it a mess with our own actions and reactions. But there is nothing that stops us from making it beautiful. Because if there is anger there is forgiveness, if there is hate there is love, if there is discrimination there is acceptance, if there is poverty there is charity, if there are diseases there are cures, if there is war there is peace. It is all about what we choose and why and when. We all are free and can choose that which is right and just and make this world and life beautiful!


SUPER HERO – you are no different from one.


 

 

You know, heroes are ordinary people that have achieved extraordinary things in life.  ~ Dave Winfield
 
 

The funny thing about us people is that we are perhaps the only species that does a mistake knowingly and with full awareness. We are the only creation on this planet that know what is wrong and still make a deliberate choice to do it anyway.A superior creation with the greatest gift of skills, knowledge, and abilities that surpasses every other creation, do this.We know the consequences of smoking and fully aware of the numerous stats and facts there are available, yet we willingly choose to smoke.We know how our actions, careless attitude and words may hurt the very people we love, yet we do it.We know what we need to do to succeed in life, become better people, and make simple yet great contributions to our world, yet we choose to take the lazy or easier path in life.

We the “Knowledgeable Man” – “Human Beings” do it.

If there is anything that the world, history, people, life, and every major event has thought us, it is that we people can do the most amazing of things in each of our lives. We can destruct, create, hate, love, take or give and live as nobody and stay bitter due to our prejudice or become somebody and leave behind a legacy. We can make great positive contributions to humanity, our family or even just one individual. We can influence, coax, inspire or provide.

Yet we either choose to do nothing or often choose to do what is wrong.

When we compare to those who lived just a few decades ago, we go to work in much more sophisticated cars, speak to people on a wireless telephone linked to our car via Bluetooth, work on a laptop with soft wares that practically required basic data input, come home to super think 3D TV programs, best of foods, inside our fanciest houses, and sleep on perhaps the most comfortable and scientifically developed luxurious mattress. And never stop finding reasons to complain about our life, people, fate, bad luck and anything we can find to blame things on!

A little patience and thought in making choices, a little bit of honest introspection, a positive attitude, some faith, and a whole lot of tolerance. Hold these together using sound morals, good values, and sincere and consistent attempts to make yourself a better person, shall make you nothing short of a “Super Human” or more so a “Super Hero”.

 

My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them. ~ Bono

 

So, what does this “Super Hero’s” do? Well, just about what we have known them for doing. They do good deeds, serve humanity, protect people and loved ones, help the poor and needy, fight every obstacle, fail but never give up, goes away in silent contemplation, returns with solutions and courage, accomplished their objectives, succeeds and become a hero amongst those who depend on them.

 
Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.  ~ Benjamin Disraeli
 
 
In other words, they are generous and charitable in nature, helpful and giving in deeds, protective of their loved ones, willing to face every obstacle in life, and develop solutions to get over them, be willing to fail and learn from their experiences, always keep moving forward in life, think, indulge in some self-analysis, make some positive changes in self, change attitudes and muster courage and persevere until they win.If you give these a little thought, you will soon realize that every single one of these acts is possible by you, I or anyone else. Many of them are very simple ones. Easily do-able. The difference being the will and attitude! You do not have to freeze a lake, move a mountain, or fly around the world to do great things. Your greatness lies in the most simplest of things in your daily lives. Often your deeds are perceived to be much greater than you will ever know by those who value it and receive it. The drive, determination and will to keep trying to win regardless of the obstacles, failures, criticism, or time is what makes the difference.

 

Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer. ~ Ronald Reagan

 
Try being a “Super Hero” for just one single moment every day. It may become a habit. That habit may inspire another. That inspiration may become contagious and Voila! You have single-handedly influenced the world around you by that 1 single moment by being “Super Hero”!  You can do small great things and be a hero at work, become a hero for your spouse, for your children, for your siblings, for yourself. Try it! It anything, it will only add just another positive moment to your life. No, it doesn’t take much. And once done, make it a habit and collect such several “Super Hero” moments and make your life worthwhile. Sponsor a child, a family, be charitable, volunteer at a local shelter for those in need, be compassionate, tolerant, loving, generous, selfless and forgiving.
 
 
The reason progress is slow is that we always expect other men to be the heroes and to live the heroic lives. But we all have hero stuff in us. In our sphere of life we can always live more heroically and triumphantly and grow in heroic stature.  ~ Wilferd A. Peterson

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