Tag Archives: character

You Pass through life but once. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny


 

 

A few months ago I had a near death experience where my heart failed to produce its electrical pulses and a Pacemaker had to be put in to keep it going. Soon after the few fatal episodes of fainting due to the oxygen not being sent to my brains as my heart failed to beat, I found myself at the ER with a temporary pacemaker placed through one of the arteries through my neck.

In the next few days that followed I was going through a series of test before a permanent pacemaker was eventually going to be implanted. While I lie at the Cardiac ward awaiting the day to come and go soon, I was overwhelmed with thoughts and memories about my life, and the realization of how short life can be. Invariably I did question the creator and why I was chosen to be the 1 in a million to have this problem. I am rebuilding my life again and doing all the right things in life to build upon a new found courage and wisdom where I began to make serious efforts to become a better and positive person. I couldn’t get the “why me?” out of my mind regardless the fact that I fully well was aware that it could have been worse and this was nothing compared to the millions of kids and innocent people who are suffering with much more severe and fatal conditions for no fault of theirs.

The night before the surgery, I took a walk around my ward to relax a bit and ease the anxiety a little. While I was observing the people, the tirelessly serving and caring nurses and watching the pictures that were put up on the walls in the corridor, I was stopped by a couple of the posters that caught my attention that were hanging on the wall by an exit door.

One read this:

Watch you thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Needless to say this did have a profound effect on me and my way of thinking about life. Especially after experiencing firsthand how short life can be and things can happen so suddenly and turn your whole life around or end it.

We are often very careless of our own behaviour and the effect it has on the people we interact with. We about life as though we have all the time we can to say and do things without thinking of the effects and consequences that they make have on ourselves and others. As we proceed towards our final destiny we seldom stop to think about ourselves or analyze our actions, deeds and behaviours. We hurt others, become greedy, do and say things without paying any attention to its meanings and how it is perceived by others, do not care about others, and choose to live life as though we have nothing to do with others and this world and we can only care less about them. Yet we rely on others for their compassion, help, assistance, friendships, love, guidance, support, kindness, wisdom, courtesy etc. We expect the world to be fair to us, nature to be kind, resources to be endlessly flowing, weather to be mild, systems to be fair, politics to inconsequential on our individual lives, etc. One day comes along when we will have our kids and younger generations look up to us for our wisdom, guidance, support, assistance, kindness, compassion, empathy and help just as the world we share today does from us as well.  And yet we seldom pay attention to our character. We continue to expect everything and at times demand all that we desire regardless of the fact we are worthy of them or have earned the right to have them.

But if we truly watch out thoughts, pay attention to our words, be mindful of our actions and carefully control our habits, we can certainly build ourselves a fine rewarding character that will pave our success and destiny. For when we are nothing more than just a tomb stone, the world we leave behind shall only remember and love us for our character, and the deeds we have left behind.

The next poster hanging on the opposite wall was a famous quote by William Penn:

I expect to pass through life but once.  If therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, and not defer or neglect it, as I shall not pass this way again.  ~William Penn

Now I try to live with more care with a realization that every action of mine is very important for myself and perhaps more important to others and becoming better myself I can influence others to do te same. Because one thing I now know very well is that I do not want to be at the doorstep of my death again with any regrets or guilt, but rather with pleasant memories, loved ones and amongst those I know I have managed touch thier lives positvely. Death, is only a few steps away from us and much closer to us than we can every realize, but today we have life, so lets do all the good we can today!


Your CHARACTER defines the real you


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“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses and avoids.”

“A good character carries with it the highest power of causing a thing to be believed.” ARISTOTLE (c. 384 – c. 322 BC) Greek philosopher

 

We each in some form or another yearn for love, respect, compassion, acceptance or acknowledgement regardless of our denials or refusal of this fact due to our respective egos. These things have a larger impact in our lives by bringing “value” the several things we do or set to accomplish in life and in the process helps build our purpose and define our lives for us.

 

“A man’s character is his fate.” HERACLITUS (c. 540 – c. 480 BC) — Greek philosopher

 

 

We each end up searching and finding a mate, sometime we demand as opposed to command the respect we believe we have earned, and at times of difficulties and hardships we anticipate the comfort of compassion and frequently and often secretly desire some sort of acknowledgement or praise for the good deeds we have done or the things we have accomplished. When we do not receive these very things that we so dearly desire, we are left disappointed or hurt. Our life, the things we do, the efforts we put in and all our dreams end up feeling meaningless when we do not get the desired “ultimate outcome” .  Such is life. If victory wasn’t the desire wars would be futile and the ultimate outcome of conquering the land or resource will be meaningless.  We are ultimately simple beings often doing one things or the another to earn the very things we desire that completes us, or gives us purpose, satisfaction, meaning, direction and comfort in our lives.

 

“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures.” HORACE GREELEY (1811-1872) — New York newspaper editor

 

But these things we so desire are only earned and stays with us based on our characters. For example: we can certainly attract people towards us and invoke love in them for who we claim we are or who we pretend to be, but the love will only be gained and will remain with us if it was built and based on our sound character.  Similarly we will attract a pseudo love or temporary love that will never stand the test of time, hardships, stress, or have integrity or loyalty. Worst is that we will lose such love the moment our true character comes out.

 

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically… Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (1929-1968) Civil Rights leader

 

The interesting thing about our personalities that invokes people to react to us is our character. Many of us manipulate others to gain the love, respect, compassion and acceptance by pretending to be who we are not and later left hurt and disappointed when we fail in this endeavour. There are those who pretend to be rich, pious, religious, holier than you, hard working, honest, smart, authoritative, experts, etc to gain their desired “ultimate outcome” be it respect, acceptance, love, etc. But when these are not based on truth or honestly the character shall soon reveal the truth and the true identity shall surface. Any honest or intelligent person who meets such pretentious individuals soon identify the true character.  One can do anything but the true ‘character” always prevails and defines the outcomes of what we set to achieve in our lives.

 

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” HELEN KELLER (1880-1968) American blind and deaf writer/lecturer

 

In todays world character holds a greater bearing on our respective individual personalities, goals, values, and most importantly our choices that defines our lives.  Even those who play video games are given the option to build or choose a “character” that will define the strength, qualities, skills and level of success in winning the game. Each character brings with it a whole new and specific set of virtues, strength, character, personality that defines the outcome of the game. The exact same results are defined by our real life characters. What we attract, how we react to experiences in life, how we approach events and people, how we cope with situation, how we reach out and achieve success and how we persevere and fights against this difficult life to accomplish out “ultimate outcome” is defined by our character.

 

“The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back.” ABIGAIL VAN BUREN (“Dear Abby”) advice columnist

 

Love, respect, regard, acceptance, compassion, are all attributed to an individual’s character.  One can be rich, occupy an authoritative position, look dashingly good, appear very beautiful, or religious, the true character is what will eventually prevail and get the world to react to it. Character is what will make or break you. So, what does a desirable and respectable “character” look like and what does it consist of?

 

 

Honesty: One needs to be honest and deal fairly with people regardless of how they feel about the individual. Keep your commitments, fulfill your promises and honor your words.

 

Respectability: Respect yourself and others. Conduct yourself with decency and be watchful of your behavior. Learn to be considerate of other people’s feelings and beliefs. You do not have to agree with them but you need to have the wisdom that peoples beliefs can be just different but not necessarily right or wrong and they are build by years of personal experiences and events in their individual lives. Respect them.

 

Choices: Your life is nothing but the result of YOUR choice. Make educated choices and weigh in the different outcomes of the choices you make. It is your life and your choices is all that makes the difference. By making good choices you influence the desired outcomes in life and all the appreciation, admiration and gratification that comes along with it.

 

Fairness and balanced opinions: Life is not fair, nor are many people and things. But it doesn’t help you becoming like them. You can only bring about fairness by how you play life. Build and uphold fair values and ideologies in life. Be fair in your judgment and actions. Develop and hold balanced opinions. Nothing is the “only” way. There are several ways to look at one single thing in life. Be fair, be known by your fairness and balanced judgment and suddenly you will find the world around you react to you in similar manner.

 

Compassion: Be honest in expressing your feelings ands care for others. Lend a helping hand whenever you can. Serving humanity is the greatest and the most satisfying aspects of life. Like yourself almost every other human being at some point in their life seeks other peoples help. Be there for others when they need you, especially those who depend on you.

 

Gratitude: Express gratitude every time you have an opportunity. Be thankful for all the things you are blessed with in life and appreciate them. There are many who are less blessed than you and there are many who may appear to be more blessed than you. Every human being finds himself or herself in the middle. The rich are unhappy so are the poor. Each person at the end of their spectrum have their share of happiness and unhappiness. Do complaint or compare. But be appreciative and strive to get better and build on what you are blessed with.

 

Be self critical: In order to become better and truly grow in life, one has to learn to be self critical. Ask yourself if how you live is right? Develop moral values and high principals in life. Strive to become a better person. Improve your quality of life, thinking, speech, behavior and choices.

 

Inspire: Build your personality on sound values and actions of positive progress in life. Just as you have a set of individuals and experiences that have inspired you in your lives, you too will invariably have that effect on others. Learn to live life in a manner that inspires others. Your advices and wisdom fall short of your actions and deeds in life.

 

Moral Values: Do things that is right and that which appeals to your moral conscience. Moral behavior develops moral character. The most difficult of times in life are the most testing of your moral behavior and choices. Strive to always be connected to your moral self and chose to do what is right, even if it is the most difficult. It will help you live a life free of any burden of guilt.


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