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Somewhere in this world today sits a senior executive in a company boardroom secretly disagreeing with the popular consensus of the people in the room because he or she sees something that is morally wrong and greedy objectives. Across their country perhaps sits a young graduate working on his or her secret aspiration to develop the next big software that could possibly change the world of mobile phones. Sitting at the desk in India, which was once popularly known to be a poor country, sits a billionaire working on how to take over an American corporation. Standing in a line up at the security check in USA, perhaps stands a father watching his young teen daughter being stripped of her basic dignity and being scanned through a machine and people watching her and thinks what can he do or say that could challenge the system and inspire them to develop a less invasive and more sensible process.
No man can cause more grief than that one clinging blindly to the vices of his ancestors. ~William Faulkner
Similarly today there are those who choose to appease their immediate management and superiors and comply with programs and actions for personal benefits. There is a teen on his or bed thinking of ways to convince their parent to buy them the next greatest feature filled expensive mobile phone. And across the room sits their parent figuring out what can they sacrifice from their personal lifestyle to siphon out a few more hundreds to help pay their credit card bills that they never thought will be a problem one day. And there lays another young uncorrupted mind thinking about the biased information fed by someone who he or she thinks has the knowledge and wisdom and has managed to entice them to join a popular growing opinion that benefits the propagators more than the activists.
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – even if I have said it – unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. ~Buddha
In this advanced and fast developing world of ours are people who are passive non conformists, those who challenge the popular opinions against harsh objections or possible persecutions and there are those who indulge in ritualistic and monotonous day to day living by conforming to popular norms and processes as dictated by those who they consider are authoritative figures, experts and intelligent people who know what they are talking about.
In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted. ~Bertrand Russell
If one thing statistics, recent and past history has proved to us is that the popular opinions, democratic decisions and expert advice have often been more wrong than right that has resulted are severe and damaging consequences. This is was not true the economists would have foreseen and avoided the crisis that grips the world of finance today, doctors would not have misdiagnosed several critical cases and get sued for their gross negligence, there wouldn’t be contradicting studies from researchers over drugs and food, America would not vote the president for two consecutive terms who drove them to economic crisis for personal and collective personal gains, and all corporations and their respective experts, authorities and top executives will not pay themselves millions of dollars and run their organizations to bankruptcy and get bailed out by the common mans money. These and several other such examples goes to prove that experts, authoritative figures, popular opinions, and majority decisions are not necessarily the right ones. If anything they have often proved to be grossly wrong and biased. Our dependency and reliance on such figures, people and decisions needs to be based on individual sensibilities, common understanding of morals, values and the responsibility to educate ourselves on unbiased and sound facts before we make our choices. Especially the decisions and choices we make that deeply impact our own personal well being and those who depend on us or seek our wisdom and advice that may influence theirs.
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly. –Albert Einstein, in a letter to a professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position
Such individual sensibilities, the power to change their world and surroundings stems from ones personal beliefs, educated opinions and self confidence. Many great scientists, inventors, musicians, politicians, revolutionaries and contributors to society were able to bring the inventions, computers, systems, and many things that has made our lives better were able to do this only by going against the popular opinions, total dismissal, humiliation, objections and over bearing influence of powerful conformists of their times. Also many organizations and corporate are brought to their knees by those individuals who stand by sound morals and principles when the collective top executive decisions are biased and unethical. So are the popular uprising in countries against their once powerful and controlling regimes, and political figures.
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
But the challenge for every individual is to develop the courage, self-confidence and the wisdom to seek and form balanced opinions based on sound values, morals and beliefs without prejudice. These qualities are needed by those who choose to progressive evolve themselves, their societies, their world and make positive contributions towards their own prosperity, happiness, achievements and growth. Alternatively one can choose to continue to be ignorant conformists, passive non conformists, and follow popular opinions against their own sensibilities and conscience. Great countries, communities, corporations, families and people are inspired by intelligent, educated and progressive thinking without prejudice. If one feels the need not to confirm to processes, decisions, and opinions, it has to be based on intelligence to truly make positive progressive progress and gains for self and to the world we live in. Weather they are political beliefs, religious or communal rituals, mundane processes, or authoritative decisions, each needs to be examined, thought, understood and practiced on intelligent, educated and balanced principles for positive and progressive living and growth. Allow your individuality to shine based on your sound moral beliefs and progressive attitude. Lead and make a new path for others to follow.
Individuality realized is the supreme attainment of the human soul, the master-master’s work of art. Individuality is sacred. –Frank Lloyd Wright
And a few more quotes:
Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs. ~Robert Peel
And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will? When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others? ~Galileo Galilei
Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth. ~John F. Kennedy
Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model. ~Vincent Van Gogh
He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. – Albert Einstein Quotes
Amongst all the wonders we are blessed with, one of the most powerful things that we have got is the power of “free will” or Choice. Specifically the choices we can make in life on a day to day basis between good and bad and how we wish to be or become as evolving human beings. I must also say that I am aware that choices are at times limited to people based on the circumstances they live in, but I am talking about the choices that still many have in lives in an effort to have a better living and happier and meaningful lives regardless of their circumstances.
It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny. – Jean Nidetch
The ability to choose is an amazing powerful gift we posses that we truly do not realize or take advantage of in our lives. In order to truly understand it and use it to our advantage we need to understand the fundamental definition of Choice. It is a mental process which helps us to judge and analyze from multiple options and selecting one of them based on preference. Choosing from these multiple options usually results in a consequence or a need for action that would eventually derive at a desired consequence. In any given day as human beings we are subject to making several choices that affect our living. They may be from the simplest forms to complex in nature. The consequences of these choices or decision to choose one from another may affect our lifestyle, religious affiliation, political position, finances, attitude towards others, reaction to situations, and health almost daily.
The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. – George Eliot
Our life essentially is nothing but a collective result of the choices we have made along the way. There are many choices were made at several moments in life, based on several experiences and circumstances, but nevertheless these were our choices and we face and live the consequences of these very choices daily. We may choose to blame the circumstances, but nevertheless the choice was ours and we are solely responsible for those choices and the eventual outcome. We each have the power and freedom to choose right from wrong. Often we end up choosing that which is easy from hard and sadly learn that the hard ends up being the right thing to do. The righteous and the just thing to do often involves hardships, disagreement from common folk, against certain odds, and at times contrary to common thinking. But it is in such choices that great accomplishments lie. Greatness has never been served on a silver platter, but it has only been earned by the choices made against all odds with the will, determination and perseverance. But it begins with the choice. And the power to choose is in your very power.
“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”- Denis Waitley (1933-…, motivational speaker and author of The Psychology of Winning)
If we examine history, great accomplishments and even the current popular inspiring stories of our times, we can clearly see that almost each and every single person had to make a very difficult choice against popular thinking, extreme criticism, severe opposition and unthinkable obstacles. Yet, each of these individuals made their choice that was right, stuck to it, persevered and accomplished great things. From a noble prince Siddhartha choosing to give up his royal luxuries life to find greater meaning in life and becoming Buddha, to Socrates’ struggle for independent thinking, to Gandhi standing up against the British Empire, to Martin Luther King’s fight for Civil Rights, to Nelson Mandela’s struggle to abolish Apartheid, the list continues to become an example of what great and right choices in life can achieve. Anne Frank, Mother Theresa, Beethoven, Vincent Van Gogh, Rosa Parks, Marie Curie, Abraham Lincoln, to modern day successes against odds and popular opinion like, Steve Jobs, Barak Obama, Michael Jordan, Stephen Hawkins, Oprah Winfrey, Lance Armstrong, Aung Sang Suu Kyi are all people who had the courage to choose and stand by what they believed to be right regardless of what the consequences would be. Even the most ordinary and common folk who may be lesser known do this on a daily basis. In our current day news the Pakistani Girl Malala who stood against the Taliban to encourage girls to go to school is just yet another example of everyday heroes who go great things be having the courage to take the decision and choose what is right in life.
Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable. – Peter F. Drucker
We are always faced with such choices in our lives. We are always given these options and choices to choose from in almost every aspect of our life. But we need to have the wisdom, integrity, and the will to make the right choices for ourselves. The life we live is designed to challenge you to make the right choices in daily. And each of your day to day choices result in a continuous change and the resulting consequences that shape your life. One must always remember that one can change his or her life by simply making the right choices in life. It’s entirely up to you. You can get rid of old habits, change unwanted situations, make better lifestyle choices, choose a better diet, choose better food, better friends, better reactions to situations and problems, and give yourself the wisdom and courage to achieve great things in your life by making good, educated and right choices in life.
“Until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise” – Stephen R. Covey (1932-…, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)
In today’s world, many of us are also spoilt with choices. We do not know what is good for us and what is not. Young high school kids have trouble picking a profession, university or a carrier. Young graduates have trouble picking jobs, or company to work for, others have to choose their life partners, financial options, cars, life style, cell phones, televisions, computers, and even a simple cup of coffee is from a list of options and variations. There were times where I can walk into a Café and ask for a cup of coffee. I would get a cup of coffee, few cubes of sugar and a pot of milk. Today in the name of quality service, brand and marketing gimmicks for an extra $4 whether you like it or not, you are forced to pick from Columbian, American, Costa Rican, host of other gourmet beans, ground, coarse, fine, Grande, Venti, Tall, milk, 2% milk, cream, black, white sugar, brown sugar, honey, sweetener, and still end up with just a coffee to kick-start your morning. But for some even such wonderful choices are bigger problems than luxury or convenience in their lives. It is a choice they have to make and yet feel overwhelmed as though it is being forced upon them. The luxury of choices has now become a burden for some while others may struggle to follow the only option they may have got in their lives.
“Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation.” – James Allen (1864-1912, author of As a Man Thinketh)
It takes a lot of work, courage, patience and thinking to make good and wise choices in life. Many of us are dealt with the same amount of choices and possibilities like the list of great achievers had. It is the choice we make that makes the difference in our lives. There is no excuse for making poor choices but great accomplishments can be made by making simple good choices daily in our lives. From our choices in reactions to situation, to how we express our love to others, to how much hard work we are willing to put for our own success and the words we chose to express ourselves, everything little choice we make daily shapes our life. We need to realize and truly understand the consequences of better choices and to indulge in creative thinking and strategic planning and development of ideas for the real world that will live in. Start making better, positive, progressive and wise choices today, and within a week you will see pointed positive differences in your life.
Definition of Nuisance Value from merriam-websters dictionary: value, importance, or usefulness arising from a capacity to annoy, frustrate, harass, or injure
Have you ever been tolerant towards someone you care or love? Regardless of the annoyance they create in your life, the hurt, pain, and agony, you tend to accept and patiently work towards changing them by inspiring them, advising them, or occasionally expressing your opinions in an effort to change them for the better? Many of us have such individuals in our lives. Children, parents, siblings, bosses, or friends. The amount of nonsense we choose to tolerate from such individuals in their “nuisance value”. Now the reasons can be several on why one chooses to accept such behaviours from such individuals. For some it may be just simple unconditional love (often extended to children), for some it is maturity and understanding of the other person’s shortcomings, for some it is respect for the other individual, for some it may be fear, and for some it can be more complex in nature. But in all such reasons one allows and accepts such nuisance for the other individual at their own will and wish. This is the Nuisance value they allocate to that individual and accept it from them accordingly based on their personal reasons.
A person may accept a snide remark from a friend, but will not accept the same from a sibling. Or one may choose to give in to an unreasonable request from their spouse but will never do the same for their parent. This is a personal choice for personal reasons between these individuals based on what their relationship and what they get in return from them. One may be more patient towards their spouse based on all the other good characteristics and things the spouse does for him or her. Usually the amount of tolerance one extends to an individual is directly proportionate to what they have get in return from them. You may chose to be lot more patient towards your parents for all the things they have done for you in their lives.
Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
But it is necessary for every individual to spend a little time to think about their own Nuisance Value. Why do you think the other person should tolerate your nuisance? Have you earned the love, respect or tolerance of the other person to be able to exert your nuisance on them? Although it is appalling to think that we can be arrogant enough to behave in this manner, we often end up becoming a nuisance in someone life at times. And when we do, we are absolutely reckless in our behaviour and thoughts and care very little towards the other persons level of tolerance or willingness to accept out such behaviour. Needles to say, we are often arrogant to even bother about the repercussions or the response from their other person. We can storm into our bosses office at scream out our displeasure and anger, we can disrespect and abuse our spouse, be insensitive towards the needs of our children or parents, care less of the emotional damage we can cause to our friends and siblings by our arrogance and insensitivity. Yet we have the audacity to expect others to be considerate, patient, understanding and sympathetic towards the nuisance we cause in their lives. Regardless of what our reasons are to behave in this manner, or the right we feel we have over others to exert such behaviours upon them, the question remains, if they too extend the same amount of Nuisance Value to you.
The liberty of the individual must be thus far limited; he must not make himself a nuisance to other people.
John Stuart Mill
W e are often senseless and extremely insensitive. We do several things in our day to day lives without very little thinking on its effect on others. We say things that hurt others, insult others, annoy others, and at times alienate others in our selfish and egoistic attitudes. But we quickly chose to forget it and move on, yet we will always remember and retaliate in anger when others do the same to us.
Is this our arrogance, denial of our faults, ignorance, ego, selfishness, or just plain false sense of entitlement? Every relationship in our lives is an equal relationship. It’s an equal batter system on an emotional level. We give respect and get respect, we need to love to be loved, we have to learn to forgive others as we expect others to forgive our mistakes, and we need to accept others with all their good and faults as they accept our nuisance value! A little bit of self criticism and introspection is always needed to live a balanced and happier life.
What is tolerance? — it is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly — that is the first law of nature. ~ Voltaire
But I have also learned an important lesson in my experiences. That is not to interfere in the nuisance value one chooses to provide for another. We are too quick to appoint ourselves as the mouth piece or defender for others, especially our loved ones. We see someone behaving inappropriately towards our friend or loved one and immediately take the liberty to fight the battle for them. In doing so, we totally forget that our loved ones are fully capable to defend themselves and voice their opinion as well. But they may not choose to react in such cases based on the “nuisance Value” they have placed for this individual. They may chose to accept such inappropriate behaviour from this person based on their history of relationship and their personal choice on how and when to retaliate. Unless they seek for your help or are truly defenceless, you have absolutely no right or need to step in and fight another person’s battle. What they chose to tolerate and how they chose to retaliate in their personal preference, not yours. Your parents may choose to be more tolerant towards your sibling, your colleague may choose to be more accepting of your bosses attitude, your friend may be more tolerant towards another’s insult. And each one of them may have their personal reasons of barter, love, patience, or forgiveness. They know it best and they justify it in their minds and hearts based on their individual one on one relationship with the other.
It is rather important to ponder upon what is YOUR “Nuisance Value”!
Happiness! To each one of us, it is derived from something different. But it also the source of our happiness changes with time and as we move on to different stages in our lives. These kids of happiness are just momentary happiness and will pass away as they come by in our lives. Then there are those perceived sources of happiness that we develop in our lives. These are those that perhaps looses it value soon after one has attained it. Often such sources could be a car, a house, or even money. People often mistakenly set these sources as their goals in lives. But they soon realize once they have achieved these perceived sources of happiness that they do not last and these are just another momentary happiness.
The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet. ~James Openheim
Many of us live a life in a never ending pursuit of true happiness without realizing what it truly is. For example; If money brings true happiness are all the rich people truly happy? Apparently not, they too go through several marriages, heart breaks, health issues, guilt, regrets, and surprisingly they suffer from loneliness.
Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. ~Margaret Young
There are several studies conducted by leading Universities and Interest Groups to identify what this true happiness is and how it affects people and their lives. In our time and age we see the list of billionaires growing rapidly every year around the world. While you see the dot come billionaires choosing to live a relative modest lives (in comparison to their billions) and continue to work harder and stay ahead in their game, you will find the several common folk who have achieved relative successes in their respective lives still continue to restlessly set newer and higher goals to attain in order to live a life where they feel content and happy.
Of the several sources one seeks happiness from; studies have identified these few key definitive things in life that truly makes people happy.
Probably no greater honor can come to any man than the respect of his colleagues. ~ Cary Grant
Respect and admiration: This source of happiness is one of the major ones that truly makes people happy. Hence you see successful and rich people like Silicon Valley Billionaires, Actors, Scientists, Authors, Politicians continuously strive to reinvent themselves and stay atop of their chosen field of expertise. The true happiness is derived from the respect and adulations they garner from their peers, work groups, family and friends alike. One needs to strive to become and remain an inspiration for others by their behavior, character, work, actions and deeds always. These key aspects will help one realize their effects on people and often induce the need to become better and enjoy the happiness they derive from the love and admiration they get.
Security represents your sense of worth, your identity, your emotional anchorage, your self-esteem, your basic personal strength or lack of it. ~ Stephen R. Covey
Socioeconomic Security: This is primarily achieved by being financially stable and developing secure relationships. Several successful people often fall apart and spiral downwards because they do not manage their finances well and/or develop strong and secure group of close friends or relatives who will be there for them in times of need. Although money is one of the major sources for stability and economic security, it is not necessary for one to be a millionaire to achieve this. As long as one manages a lifestyle where all relative needs and wants are being fulfilled from time to time, and investing in a relatively comfortable saving or securely growing prospect they derive a sense of comfort and security which gives them happiness and peace. But once this is achieved a social security takes precedence in their lives. Social security is important for ones emotional well being and happiness. Thus it is important for any individual to develop a small group of friends or relatives or both, and garner a relationship that is dependable and beyond material or formal constrains. These are relationships that will remain the same and you can count on in times of need or help.
This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. ~George Bernard Shaw
Purposeful Living: A key to living a life of happiness is achievement. This is when you spent time and your effort to achieve something that you had set for and saw purpose in. What is this purpose? For those who search for the meaning of life, the realization eventually comes as a shock that they themselves will have to develop the meaning. It is in the individuals own ability and choice to develop a purpose in life and give it meaning in terms of it eventual objective. Thus is become imperative to develop sensible and meaningful purposes in one’s life. A purpose that is meaningful to self, that is valuable to others, that eventually generates a positive outcome that if beneficial to self and others. It is also important to choose a purpose that is morally right and respectable which will make your efforts worthy and will coincide with the first point discussed above – Respect and admiration.
“Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Clear conscience: A clear conscience and mind that is free of any major guilt empowers the mind with a sense of self esteem and confidence which is another major source of true happiness. A mind cluttered with guilt, mischief, lies and deceit remains in a constant state of stress and confusion. It is inevitable for one to live a life free of guilt, but it is certainly possible to undo a lot of things we regret in life. We can forgive, apologize, avoid repeating our mistakes, be generous if giving, be charitable, and make serious efforts to constantly be self critical in an effort to self improve and become better. In one study when several people who are believed to be successful were asked what they hoped and wished for after they had achieved all their goals and success in life; the majority of them said they wanted to be forgiving and more charitable in their lives. Holding long time grudges and hurtful feelings towards others is one of the most common habits of many people. This only develops a constant level of discomfort, a sense of guilt and regret in our lives. Many try to overcome this feeling by denial, or refusal to do anything about it due to their ego or pride. But few take the step to make that call and apologize or forgive someone and move ahead in life. Often we pamper our egos and pride at the cost of our own happiness and clear conscience.
Tenzin Gyatso, 14th Dalai Lama: “What is the meaning of life? To be happy and useful.”
Achieving true and lasting happiness lies in your own hands, actions, and choices in life. It is how you set out to achieve it and differentiate it between the momentary happiness and lasting ones. And once this true happiness is achieved, you will find yourself to be at peace, and tranquility and armed with the confidence and desire to live a greater life that is destined to achieve greater things in life.
Buddha: “Happiness comes when your work and words are of benefit to yourself and others.”
Watch Video below:
“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” – Brian Tracy
CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND THIS YEAR!
12 simple ways to Get up, Get Inspired, Carve your own success and do great things in life!
- Become a Super Hero – Realize your potential and do great things like a super hero does.
- Take responsibility of your life and your choices – Stop blaming others and circumstances. Take charge and action to change your life around.
- Be courageous and fight against all odds to success – You are not the only one who needs to fight against the odds to succeed. Join the other great achievers and learn to stand tall and become courageous enough to win your battles.
- Do not be cynical and negative – Turn your negativity and bitterness to positive energy and a fresh look towards the possibilities.
- Get up and solve your problems, do not dwell in it – Learn to see every problem you face as an opportunity to develop a solution.
- Awaken your conscience and realize true happiness – Be with your inner-self. Listen to your heart and draw the strength and wisdom from within.
- Become a greater person – Do things that makes you stand out and become a greater human being. Do things that makes you special and enables you to make positive changes to your world.
- Count your blessings and be grateful – Learn to realize the amazing gifts you have got in life as opposed to dwelling in your hurdles. You will only be amazed to see the countless gifts and support systems you are blessed with in life.
- Earn your respect – Live a respectable life. Earn your respect from your peers and people by learning to act in a manner worthy of it.
- Get healthy and look good – Take a good look at your health and get healthy. Use your sensibilities and common facts to lead a healthier life that enables you to enjoy your accomplishments.
- Earn more, enjoy it and be wise with your money – Take charge of protecting and investing your finances as opposed to falling victim to economic patterns and bad advices.
- Listen to life and learn the lessons it teaches us – Learn from your surroundings and the countless lessons that life offers you in abundant examples.
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe.
– Anatole France
Set your Tail on Fire is a book for those you are tired of blaming the world and falling victim to circumstances. Filled with the wisdom, experiences, quotes, and inspirational ideas, this book written in 12 short chapters, is about how you can take charge of your life, realize your potential and set out to do fantastic things in life!
DOWNLOAD ebook HERE: