Category Archives: positive

How your life experiences shape you!


We all are shaped by our experiences in our lives. And the memories, good and bad have permanently altered our outlook towards our lives and future. We are nothing but a mind over matter that is a product of our experiences under specific circumstances in our lives.  If our circumstances were any different our experiences would have been very different as well and would result in a different memory that will remain with us forever. Perhaps they lie dormant in our minds for long, but only until similar circumstance arises in our lives.  I tend to draw some inspiration from the character Guido; Roberto Benigni played in the movie Life is Beautiful where in the second half of the movie he tries to create a totally different experience of a Nazi Camp for his son by telling him that they are participants in a game to collect points. In the end the son thinks he won the game while his father got killed in the process.

Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones. ~Author Unknown

Our response to situations, and events in our lives are all shaped by our experiences. Your thought process, our mind set, attitude, aspirations, expectations, and social behaviour are all altered or shaped by our experiences.  Many of our experiences are usually personal in nature and there are several experiences that are conceived. The personal experiences are usually deeper in nature that we hold on to for long because we have endured personally as opposed to the ones that are conceived by other people’s personal experiences or opinions which changes over time and based on our individual personal experiences on that subject. If you spend some time thinking about your experiences that have affected you and your opinions about certain things in life, you will soon realize how fragile your opinions could be as it would have been lot different only if the circumstances of your experience were different.

Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him. ~Aldous Leonard Huxley

How you react to an experience and your choice of response leaves an almost  permanent code of response to similar future experiences in your memory. You are more likely to response very similarly the next time you encounter a similar experience. Thus what you chose to do with your experiences plays a major factor in your development, understanding, response, opinions and future behaviours. We all  carry several fond memories of your childhood that we often try to recreate for our youngsters or children. We often try to physically recreate the same atmosphere and circumstances hoping our children have the same experiences in their lives. We ape our parents’ behaviours at times in an effort to invoke similar response from our children, we tell the same old stories we grew up with to our children, or create similar environments such as taking them to a beach, playing in an open back yard etc. The core idea being that we hope our children to grow up with the same fond memories we did from our childhood.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it – and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again – and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. ~Mark Twain

When we realize how important a personal experience is to us and how it has influenced our lives in several ways, and how our choice of reaction to these experiences under specific circumstances has shaped our personality, it will dawn upon us the importance it is for us to create good experiences and circumstances for everyone who comes in contact with us in our lives. What we experience under specific circumstances shapes us and what circumstances and experiences we create influences every individual we come in contact in our lives. It is very similar to how we feel when we have met someone who makes us feel good or bad. And the other individuals’ response or reaction to the experience we bring to them affects us in return.

Who then can so softly bind up the wound of another as he who has felt the same wound himself. ~Thomas Jefferson

We all are made of our experiences that we encountered in a specific circumstance. If an individual behave in a particular way, it is because his or her experience thought him these responses and resulting characteristics were born. We are like them too and they are like is. We all are victims of our life experiences. But we each can change ourselves and others by changing the scars in memories by creating new and positive experiences and circumstances. We can influence opinions, understanding, memories, feelings, responses, love, hatred, prejudice, knowledge and lives by how we chose to behave and the experiences we create for ourselves and others. Thus by making every effort to create a positive interaction and experience every time you speak or contact others you create a better world of pleasant memories, experiences and happiness.

To do something, however small, to make others happier and better, is the highest ambition, the most elevating hope, which can inspire a human being ~ John Lubbock

So, the next time you visit family over holidays, go over to a friends home, take the time to inspire someone who looks up to you,  interact with colleagues at work, meet your grand parents, siblings, nephews or nieces, make an honest effort to create a positive experience for them and leave them with pleasant memories of you and your words and wisdom. For they often have a profound impact in their lives like your experiences have impacted you. You can begin at home with your siblings, wife and children and enjoy a life of pleasant experiences and memories. Your personal experiences are created by how others treat you. Likewise their experiences with you are based on how you treat them. It is a chain of continuous actions and reactions. But to change this link from a negative to a positive one, pressing the “start” button needs to come from you.


The difficult art of choosing right from wrong


The right choice is often a difficult path

Amongst all the wonders we are blessed with, one of the most powerful things that we have got is the power of “free will” or Choice. Specifically the choices we can make in life on a day to day basis between good and bad and how we wish to be or become as evolving human beings. I must also say that I am aware that choices are at times limited to people based on the circumstances they live in, but I am talking about the choices that still many have in lives in an effort to have a better living and happier and meaningful lives regardless of their circumstances.

It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny. – Jean Nidetch

Choice: a mental process which helps us to judge and analyze from multiple options and selecting one of them based on preference. Choosing from these multiple options usually results in a consequence or a need for action that would eventually derive at a desired consequence.  In any given day as human beings we are subject to making several choices that affect our living. They may be from the simplest forms to complex in nature. The consequences of these choices or decision to choose one from another may affect our lifestyle, religious affiliation, political position, finances, attitude towards others, reaction to situations, and health.

The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice. – George Eliot

Our life essentially is nothing but a collective result of the choices we have made along the way. There choices were made at several moments in life, based on several experiences and circumstances, but nevertheless these were our choices and we face and live the consequences of these very choices. We may choose to blame the circumstances, but nevertheless the choice was ours and we are solely responsible for those choices and the eventual outcome. We each have the power and freedom to choose right from wrong. Often we end up choosing easy from hard and sadly the hard ends up being the right one to choose. The righteous and just thing to do often involves hardships, disagreement from common folk, against certain odds, and at times contrary to common thinking. But it is in such choices that great accomplishments lie. Greatness has never been served on a silver platter, but it has only been earned by the choices made against all odds with the will, determination and perseverance. But it begins with the choice. And the power to choose is in your very power.

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”- Denis Waitley (1933-…, motivational speaker and author of The Psychology of Winning)

Before I was sent to England for schooling, my oldest brother sat me down and gave me a few valuable tips on what to expect and how to cope in a boarding school, new country, and above all how to uphold my dignity and self-respect. He always had a profound way to deliver his advice which would stick like a note with a board pin into my brain. His advises, as I can recall, always puts butterflies in my stomach and makes me smile as he would start off in all seriousness and end up with a hilarious one-liner and a smile. He told me about how friendships should be an equal relationship, how to take pride of who I am and uphold our decency, how to learn from my mistakes etc.  Among a barrage of things he threw at me that day over lunch he mentioned to me that there will be every vice, temptation, and choices of right and wrong thrown at me in my life as I go on. But, what makes one into a fine man or a failure, are the choices he makes and actions he takes once his choice has been made.

A personal expereince on chosing to do what is right :

I was 17 then and I remember it was a Wednesday. Quiz day in Physics every Wednesday, first lesson in the morning. I wasn’t prepared, totally clueless and dumb as a needle on the subject that week. Perhaps my heart was too tangled in my dreams of falling in love with the amazingly new cute girl who helps out at our daily lunch hall. Anyways, as soon as our teacher came in, he passed out our question paper and told us that he will be very disappointed with anyone who will get less than 90% in this weekly quiz as it was one of his easier ones. Translated it means as follows: “It’s a tough paper, as it has just one question which clearly involves a lot of calculations. Should you get less than 90% he will put in a good word in our principal’s ear about our performance.” Having distributed the question paper and made his statement, he gave us 45 minutes to finish and he walked out of the class room.

The moment he walked out. There was the usual yet typical mumbling, cursing and looking at each others face for a few moments. Then one of us boldly walked up to the door stuck his neck out to see if our teacher wasn’t close by, and shut it back firmly and walked back to his desk. Quickly, almost everyone flipped out their text books and began to answer the equation precisely and fast. I looked around in amazement as I saw my buddies scribble away in a frenzy like they were writing their wish lists for toys and girls. I too had my text book with me, but I was thinking if I should or shouldn’t follow suit. And just then I remembered my power of choice and should my poor choice get the best of me, how will I let down my dearest brother’s aspiration about me. So, I sat there and stuck to my choice and decision to do the right thing and not cheat. My closest buddy glanced at me and asked me what was wrong? He quickly offered his text book to me to follow suit. I politely refused. He called me an idiot and nodded his head in disgust and disbelief. I sat through for 45 minutes and tried working out some other equation I knew as practice on a piece of paper. The teacher came back and collected everyone papers and took off again.

Next morning I was at the center meeting hall in school where all students gather to grab their mug of coffee or tea before the classes begin. I knew I was going to be embarrassed and humiliated in my Physics class just before our first break. So I was being quiet and already being embarrassed of my upcoming doom. And before I realized, as all bad things do, the hour was upon my head. I dragged my foot from one class to another and planning out how I will react and how will other classmates react at the meeting hall soon after the class and spread the news about the scores to everyone in school. Particularly, how my score will be announced by our ever so sarcastic teacher in his classic British humor with a snide remark that will make everyone laugh.

After all of us sat down and there was this impatient silence for a bit for the scores, our teacher called out my name first. I stood up with my chin stuck to my chest. He said I was the only student who passed the quiz and the rest failed. He further went on to say that if anyone disagreed with his scoring they were free to talk to the principal about it. For a moment I took it as his first sarcastic jab. I waited for a few more seconds for the next. But no one else reacted, and he asked me to sit down and continued with that day’s lesson. No one questioned his scores due to their guilt and I sat there feeling silly but yet still unsure of his decision. At the end of the class, he walked up to me as I was leaving the door, and said, he was extremely proud of my decision not to cheat and offered to tutor me after class if I needed any help in his subject as he was pleased to have a student with such honesty and integrity in his class.

During the break at the main meeting hall, my class mates walked up to me and shook my hand and said they had a lot of respect for me and my decision. They also went on to share this news with their other school mates. I was approached by other fellow school mates who heard about this and shook my hands and expressed their appreciation. And I was amazed to see how a simple choice to do the right thing could have such an amazing impact. I couldn’t help but think of what I had expected of my choice earlier that morning and what it had turned out to be. It was an experience that I still am very proud off till date. And it was an experience that thought me and reaffirmed what my brother had told me about choice. “What makes one into a fine man or a failure, are the choices he makes and actions he takes once that choice is made”.

Start with what is right rather than what is acceptable. – Peter F. Drucker

We are always faced with such choices in our lives. We are always given these options and choices to choose from in almost every aspect of our life. But we need to have the wisdom, integrity, and the will to make the right choices for ourselves. The life we live is designed to challenge you to make the right choices in life. And each of your day to day choices result in a continuous change and the resulting consequences that shape your life. One must always remember that one can change his or her life by simply making the right choices in life. It’s entirely up to you. You can get rid of old habits, change unwanted situations, make better lifestyle choices, choose a better diet, choose better food, better friends, better reactions to situations and problems, and give yourself the wisdom and courage to achieve great things in your life by making good, educated and right choices in life.

“Until a person can say deeply and honestly, “I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,” that person cannot say, “I choose otherwise” – Stephen R. Covey (1932-…, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)

In today’s world, many of us are also spoilt with choices. We do not know what is good for us and what is not. Young high school kids have trouble picking a profession, university or a carrier. Young graduates have trouble picking jobs, or company to work for, others have to choose their life partners, financial options, cars, life style, cell phones, televisions, computers, and even a simple cup of coffee is from a list of options and variations. There were times where I can walk into a Café and ask for a cup of coffee. I would get a cup of coffee, a jar of sugar and a pot of milk. Today in the name of quality service, brand and marketing gimmicks for an extra $4 whether you like it or not, you are forced to pick from Columbian, American, Costa Rican, host of other gourmet beans, ground, coarse, fine, Grande, Venti, Tall, milk, 2% milk, cream, black, white sugar, brown sugar, honey, sweetener, and still end up with just a coffee to kick-start your morning. But often these wonderful choices for many are bigger problems than convenience or luxury.

“Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation.” – James Allen (1864-1912, author of As a Man Thinketh)

Often individuals who make deliberate poor choices in life often seek the easy way out continue to take poor decisions that end them up assimilating a string of bad experiences, and resulting consequences due to their poor state of living. They will rather choose to get a fat loan or more than affordable car whether they have the means to fill the gas to run it or not. Some choose to spend their parents earnings on their cell phone bills and but never on a clean pair of jeans or clothes. They will choose to take advice and rest on the opinion of some half baked, semi-educated, councilor or a “friend” who will encourage dropping off from school and taking a hike across the country or to another country, smoke weed and have fun or get into a get rich quick dot.com business or buying their share of the pyramid scheme they themselves got suckered into. But they will hardly choose the advice of their selfless, hard-working, sacrificing and extremely caring parents and well-wishers who will often be willing to support their ambition with the best quality of education, universities, and help along the way by paying off their tuition fees as opposed to bank loans, get them a vehicle, give them a house to stay, etc.  I once was told that a person will invariably choose the best and eventually become very successful in life, if he or she is given only the best option as the only and last option to choose from. I guess is has become even more essential to educate todays’ youths on the realities of life and the consequences of human choices. Especially to help them from chasing unrealistic dreams such as the numerous pyramid or other get rich quick schemes with very little efforts. They need to be educated of the resulting proven consequences of better choices and to indulge in creative thinking and strategic planning and development of ideas for the real world that will help them succeed.

Educated and quality choices about self, others, life, and character will only result in success, happier life and great achievement!


If you dont like it, then change your life around and make it fantastic!!!!!


“The potential of the average person is like a huge ocean unsailed, a new continent unexplored, a world of possibilities waiting to be released and channeled toward some great good.” – Brian Tracy

CHANGE YOUR LIFE AROUND!

12 simple ways to Get up, Get Inspired, change your life around and do great things in life!

  1. Become a Super Hero – Realize your potential and do great things like a super hero does.
  2. Take responsibility of your life and your choices – Stop blaming others and circumstances. Take charge and action to change your life around.
  3. Be courageous and fight against all odds to success – You are not the only one who needs to fight against the odds to succeed. Join the other great achievers and learn to stand tall and become courageous enough to win your battles.
  4. Do not be cynical and negative – Turn your negativity and bitterness to positive energy and a fresh look towards the possibilities.
  5. Get up and solve your problems, do not dwell in it – Learn to see every problem you face as an  opportunity to develop a solution.
  6. Awaken your conscience and realize true happiness – Be   with your inner-self. Listen to your heart and draw the strength and wisdom from within.
  7. Become a greater person – Do things that makes you stand out and become a greater human being. Do things that makes you special and enables you to make positive changes to your world.
  8. Count your blessings and be grateful – Learn to realize the amazing gifts you have got in life as opposed to dwelling in your hurdles. You will only be amazed to see the countless gifts and support systems you are blessed with in life.
  9. Earn your respect – Live a respectable life. Earn your respect from your peers and people by learning to act in a manner worthy of it.
  10. Get healthy and look good – Take a good look at your health and get healthy. Use your sensibilities and common facts to lead a healthier life that enables you to enjoy your accomplishments.
  11. Earn more, enjoy it and be wise with your money – Take charge of protecting and investing your finances as opposed to falling victim to economic patterns and bad advices.
  12. Listen to life and learn the lessons it teaches us – Learn from your surroundings and the countless lessons that life offers you in abundant examples.

“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe. – Anatole France


20 things life is not


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The purpose of life is a life of purpose. ~Robert Byrne

1. It is not how you will die, but it is all about how you live

2. It is not about what you have got, but it is about what you give

3. It is not about how much have you gained, but it is more about how much you have shared

4. It is not your accomplishments, but it is what you have done with them

5. It is not the respect you get but the respect you give others

Life is the sum of all your choices. ~Albert Camus

6. It is not about the things people do for you, but how selflessly they do it for you

7. It is not how much you have earned, but it is what you do with it

8. It is not about the victory, but it is how you fought the battle

9. It is not about having principles in life, but it is how you uphold them

10. It is not about loving someone, but it is how you treat their love

It is not living that matters, but living rightly. ~ Socrates

11. It is not what you give to others, but the intention and the fact you care to give

12. It is not what you claim, but it is all about what you do

13. It is not about motivating others, but it is rather about inspiring others

14. It is not about what others do or say to you, but it is all about how you react to it

15. It is not about becoming famous, but it is about what you become famous for

The unexamined life is not worth living. ~ Socrates 

16. It is not about the circumstances it has put you in, but the choices you make under these circumstances

17. It is not about you are right or wrong, but it is about being right and still being humble about it

18. It is not about who is wrong, but what matters is if you are right

19. It is not about tolerance, but it is about acceptance

20. It is not about people, but it is about humanity

It is not length of life, but depth of life. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


Being Happy


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Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.  ~Denis Waitley

 A strange fact that amuses me is that people from advanced, developed and progressive countries travel to what are called third world countries, or under developed countries in search of Happiness, Peace and the meaning of life. Where as, people from such countries migrate to the advanced and developed countries in search of progress, wealth, career, freedom and security. Either way, neither of them seem to be happy where they are.  People with the most advanced of technology, freedom and many things that make life easier are not happy and those who do not have any of these are unhappy too. Strange isn’t it?

I have often asked myself and several of my friends what they would do once they have accomplished and fulfilled all their desires in life. Like, if you have got your ideal house, live in your ideal city or location, have an ideal family, and financially are very well and secure, what would you want to do next?  And I began writing their answers in several small notes and pieces of paper and kept them. What I found from all of their answers was almost very profound and extremely interesting.  Almost all of them said they would want to do these things:

 Be charitable and help the needy.

 Adopt or sponsor an orphan.

 Help the poor and not so well off people in their family.

 Take up an artistic hobby. That is writing a book, paint, write poetry etc.

 Pay more attention to their faith and become better people.

 Be more forgiving and go seek those they have hurt in the past and seek their forgiveness.

 Make peace with those they have been upset with and help bring those they know who are angry with each other together.

These were the things almost all of them said they wished to do once all their life desires were fulfilled. And when asked why, all of them said mostly because they always wanted to do these things but are too busy fulfilling their dreams and desires. And they also said that if they do these things listed above, they will bring more meaning to their lives and feel they have accomplished something and make themselves worthwhile and meaningful. By doing these, it will bring them lot of happiness and peace.

What makes me wonder is why do we wait to fulfill all our desires and wishes before we do such things? Why can’t we do almost all of these things now, today and make our lives more meaningful and become lot happier right now? Why can’t we do these and bring ourselves this happiness and peace today?  

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain

What comes in between happiness and ourselves is our own choices and actions. The circumstances around us has always been changing and will continue to do so until we perish. And in this life we will set several goals for ourselves to achieve. Some we may accomplish and some we may not. But the true happiness is not experienced when we achieve the goal or after achieving it. True happiness lies in the journey. The process where we spend most of our respective lives.

It takes, once again, a simple process of self-awareness and understanding of our needs, wants, and our desires in life to truly realize true happiness. Often we will find many little things that we can derive happiness from. And many a times we may realize that we already have them but we never took the time to realize it.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.  ~Frederick Keonig

 Once a person I knew told me a little story about happiness which I found very profound. It was about a little boy who was at a fair holding his Dads’ hand and having a good time. Suddenly, his Dad left his hand and stopped to talk to a friend he found in the crowd. The boy walked a few steps further and realized that his Dad was not around him and he began to cry. And the people who were passing by wondered why a little boy amidst a fair with all the wonders and amusements a child would enjoy was not unhappy and crying. They could see this boys’ Dad beside him, but the little boy couldn’t due to the crowd around him and hence continued to cry.  Thus, what we assume gives us happiness may not be true. The materialistic things, momentary happiness, instant gratification by purchasing fancy gadgets or clothes is not what truly makes us happy. Like the little boys’ experience, true comfort and happiness lies in our secure relationships, love, dependability on someone, emotional support, financial security, and in the company of those we can share our happiness. Similarly we can be much happier in sharing our happiness, doing good, making ourselves a better person and helping others be happy. True happiness, and peace lies within us. We need to search within and realize the many gifts we take for granted and do not value. Happiness is around us and in our choices, attitude and actions.    

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.  ~Bertrand Russel

There are several things you may find that can help you realize true happiness. Things that makes you feel good, makes your feel special and helps you enjoy the pleasures in life. And before you realize you will soon find yourself doing things that brings more happiness to you and yoru life. This amazing feeling not only makes you become better and happier, it makes the people around you and life lot more meaningful and gratifying. Time spent becomes more meaningful and you begin to pay more attention towards makign every expereince a beautiful one.

 

Here are a few such things:

 

  1. 1.Learn to leave the past where it is supposed to be and move ahead in life.
  2. 2. Do well in your job and work smart to succeed.
  3. Smile always.
  4. Do not be overly critical of others and the mistakes they do in their lives. Let them be. You work on being better first.
  5. Show the people dear to you that you care.
  6. If you get a chance, go out with a kid and play.
  7. Forgive others and do not hold on to any prejudice.
  8. Count your blessings.
  9. Be charitable. Help the needy and poor regardless of their cast, color, faith or country.
  10. Do something creative.
  11. Move to and live close by to your friends and family.
  12. Share a joke with someone.
  13. Be self-reflective and make changes for the better in yourself.
  14. Let go of your stubborn ego for someones happiness.
  15. Flips through some old family pictures in an album.

Change into greater beings


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“For things to change, you’ve got to change. For things to get better, you’ve got to get better.” ~Jeff Olson

As time passes and we grow from one stage to another we often make some subtle and some major changes to ourselves. We upgrade our wardrobe to the current trends, we upgrade our gadgets, car and several other things as we feel necessary. Similarly, we also grow into more mature and understanding beings. Our perceptions change and so does our demeanor. All such changes are made almost involuntarily. Many a times, we do not even realize these changes in ourselves. Perhaps, it is accepted as a natural progression of life.  But seldom do we change ourselves voluntarily in an effort to become better people.  We take great comfort in being highly critical of others and the world around us. We also take great pride and pleasure in pointing out the mistakes in others and offer solicited or mostly unsolicited advises to people on how to improve themselves and where they are going wrong. But never do we reflect upon our own actions and deeds. How often do we truly analyze our own character and personality in order to make ourselves a better person?

“Character is a quality that embodies many important traits, such as integrity, courage, perseverance, confidence and wisdom. Unlike your fingerprints that you are born with and can´t change, character is something that you create within yourself and must take responsibility for changing.”  ~Jim Rohn

 As human beings we need to evolve continuously by making progress by making positive changes to our  behaviour and attitude towards life and people and above all ourselves. When we truly indulge in developing ourselves to form good and positive personalities, we begin to feel different and see the world in a better light.  This positive personality trait is as infectious as any virus can be and it only helps make our immediate surrounding and eventually the world we live in a  much more positive and happier place to be. As intelligent human beings sharing this world and resources and having been created alike, we cannot afford to shrug our responsibilities to the societies we live in and our fellow species. If not anything, we can at least make genuine efforts and help ourselves to become positive people and uphold good values and make positive contributions to our world. In order to do this we need to begin first with ourselves, then our immediate home and family, then our close friends and then the world, in this particular order. And this change we intent to bring into others should not be forced, asked or told, but rather such changes should be inspired by our character, deeds, actions and behaviours.

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” ~Leo Tolstoy

Our individual characters and behaviours often influences our out look towards our world and surroundings. When we are in a positive mood we feel that we can face any challenge in this world. When we are in love, we promise to move the mountains if need be to get our love. And when we are depressed, even the simplest of problems appears as a burden, and simple hardships makes us feel we are being victimized.  We also take comfort in assuming that the hardships in life are unique to us. I myself have spent a lot of my time wondering “why me?”. As my older brother so eloquently puts it, “wallowing in my sorrow like a hippo in a swamp”.  We easily pull out a list of reasons to not improve ourselves and become better people. We would rather blame our surroundings, the world and the dog two doors down for our problem and misery but ourselves.  What we make this world out to be is from our very own mind and thinking. And how we choose to accept this world or change it is also by our own mind. But this begins with making ourselves better. If we look within ourselves and make the necessary positive changes, our outlook and attitude will change. It is all within. The wise men and women of the past have said it all. They have done and accomplished the impossible and left behind their legacy which speaks of their hardships, and challenges and how they overcame the unthinkable oppositions and hardships to change themselves and the world around them.

He who rejects change is the architect of decay.  The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.  ~Harold Wilson

If you would attain to what you are not yet, you must always be displeased by what you are.  For where you are pleased with yourself there you have remained.  Keep adding, keep walking, keep advancing.  ~Saint Augustine

So how can be become a better person? Before I share some of my points which is not anything new though, I would firstly like to list a few well-known individuals who changed their world by changing themselves first. They too fought against their share of hardships and hurdles and changed their attitude and character to accomplish the impossible. All of these individuals over came their hardships, rejections, stifling obstacles and yet persevered to over come them and achieve things that seems impossible once. This was perhaps accomplished due to their persistent drive to change themselves, their thinking and attitude towards their unwavering goal and belief in their own abilities and skills.  They did not give in to criticism or rejections, but took them in their stride, analyzed their mistakes and made the changes they needed to over come their faults and pave their own way to success. Their lives should stand as pillars of proof for every one of us that we are not unique in facing obstacles, hardships or rejections. Instead it is perhaps a very necessary process that we need to face to help us become better and enable us to achieve greater things in life. This only goes to show us, that it is all within our will, determination and mind to self improve and change the world around us:

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Abraham Lincoln – One of the most amazing and often referred to.  Abraham Lincoln, lost his fiancé, had a nervous breakdown, first went into politics at the age of 23 when he campaigned for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly and failed. He was defeated in 8 elections. He once also opened a general store which failed after only a few months.

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Robert M Pirsig – His well known book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” was rejected by 121 publishers. Since finally being published in 1974 it has gone on to sell millions of copies in 27 languages.

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Michael Jordan – A well publicized and well known fact about the most famous name in basketball was actually cut from his high school basketball team.

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 John Wayne – Before his successful acting career he was rejected from the United States Naval Academy.

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Steven Spielberg – This household name dropped out of high school and applied to attend film school three times but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average.

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Beethoven – His music teacher once told him that he was a hopeless composer.

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Harry S. Truman – This former US President was rejected by the US Military & Naval Academies due to his poor eyesight. At one point he was a clerk in a newspaper mailroom, and also an usher in a movie theater.

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Babe Ruth – This baseball legend struck out 1,330 times.

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Henry Ford – The Ford Motor Co was Henry Ford’s third business, the first two didn’t work out.

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Winston Churchill – This former British Prime Minister did poorly in school and had a speech impediment in his early years.

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Marilyn Monroe – Marilyn Monroe spent much of her younger years in foster homes. One of her first jobs, during the Second World War, was inspecting parachutes. Producer told her she was “unattractive” and could not act.

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Walt Disney – He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for lacking in ideas.

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Soichiro Honda – The founder of Honda was turned down for an engineering job by Toyota after World War Two.

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Charles Darwin – His father told him he would amount to nothing and would be a disgrace to himself and his family.

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Albert Einstein – He learned to speak at a late age and performed poorly in school.

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Thomas Edison – As a boy he was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything.

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Isaac Newton- He failed at running the family farm and did poorly in school.

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The Vice President of Columbia told this actor that he was never going to make it in the business. The actor? – Harrison Ford

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Turned down by a recording company saying “We don’t like their sound and guitar music is on the way out” They were talking about the Beatles

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Were told by Publishers that “anthologies didn’t sell” and the book was “too positive” Rejected a total of 140 times. The book? Chicken Soup for the Soul. It now has 65 different titles and has sold over 80 million copies all over the world.

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Was not allowed to wait on customers in the store he worked in because “he didn’t have enough sense” – F. W. Woolworth

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Auditioned for All My Children and got rejected – Julia Roberts

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Received 30 rejections and the author threw it in the trash. Luckily his wife fished it out again and encouraged him to resubmit it. The book was Carrie – the author Stephen King

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Gandhi, gave up on this wealth, and many worldly things to first change his attitude and behaviour. Then he set on to change his fellow country men. And thus achieved the impossible and changed the world for ever.

“It’s not that some people have willpower and some don’t. It’s that some people are ready to change and others are not.” ~ James Gordon

There are several things we can do as individuals to develop a good positive personality that will attract others to us in a positive manner, help us achieve more, develop self-confidence and above all eventually inspire our immediate surroundings.

First, one has to be honest to themself when it comes to analyzing their own life. They need to indulge in self-analysis and see for themselves how does their current personality compare. One has to take time to truly understand their rights, wrongs, character, strengths, weaknesses, and identify the need to make the necessary changes in a genuine effort to change.

Next, be positive. Try to look at life with some humor and dignity. Smile and laugh at things, adopt a humorous perspective to things as and when you can. Laugh, be happy, share a joke or two, this helps you learn to take things positively and handle stress better. It is true when they say a laugher a day keeps the doctor away. It improves your health, good for your lungs, and heart. If you are a happy person wearing a smile always, your happy disposition usually will attract people to you, and you will always be perceived in a much better light and loved by all.

Then, show your positivity and expresses it positively as well, by actions and behaviour. Be helpful and offer a helping hand to your fellow human beings. Like yourself each of us need some help or the other at times in life. Let your actions show the world of your mind and heart. Show it in actions by helping one and other. Be purposeful and useful to others. The gratitude and sense of purpose you feel by helping others is far greater. It in turn builds your own self-esteem and gains more respect and appreciation from others.

And last but certainly not least, learn to and strive to become a better human being by the practice of balanced self-criticism in an honest effort to self improve. Let go of ego and pride. Be humble, be polite, be kind to others, express appreciation and appreciate any good you find in others. Become the change you like to see in the world you live. Become positive, become happier, do greater things for greater cause, help others, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. Be human.

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.” ~Socrates

Realize your true, authentic self. Remember that your personality and character is nothing more than how you react, act and interact in this world. How people see you and identify you by your good attributes. And this personality stems from your innermost thoughts, perceptions, ideas, and eventual actions and expressions. Allow your character to be developed, let it progress, let it be unique and make it great and make it yours.


SUPER HERO – you are no different from one.


 

 

You know, heroes are ordinary people that have achieved extraordinary things in life.  ~ Dave Winfield
 
 

The funny thing about us people is that we are perhaps the only species that does a mistake knowingly and with full awareness. We are the only creation on this planet that know what is wrong and still make a deliberate choice to do it anyway.A superior creation with the greatest gift of skills, knowledge, and abilities that surpasses every other creation, do this.We know the consequences of smoking and fully aware of the numerous stats and facts there are available, yet we willingly choose to smoke.We know how our actions, careless attitude and words may hurt the very people we love, yet we do it.We know what we need to do to succeed in life, become better people, and make simple yet great contributions to our world, yet we choose to take the lazy or easier path in life.

We the “Knowledgeable Man” – “Human Beings” do it.

If there is anything that the world, history, people, life, and every major event has thought us, it is that we people can do the most amazing of things in each of our lives. We can destruct, create, hate, love, take or give and live as nobody and stay bitter due to our prejudice or become somebody and leave behind a legacy. We can make great positive contributions to humanity, our family or even just one individual. We can influence, coax, inspire or provide.

Yet we either choose to do nothing or often choose to do what is wrong.

When we compare to those who lived just a few decades ago, we go to work in much more sophisticated cars, speak to people on a wireless telephone linked to our car via Bluetooth, work on a laptop with soft wares that practically required basic data input, come home to super think 3D TV programs, best of foods, inside our fanciest houses, and sleep on perhaps the most comfortable and scientifically developed luxurious mattress. And never stop finding reasons to complain about our life, people, fate, bad luck and anything we can find to blame things on!

A little patience and thought in making choices, a little bit of honest introspection, a positive attitude, some faith, and a whole lot of tolerance. Hold these together using sound morals, good values, and sincere and consistent attempts to make yourself a better person, shall make you nothing short of a “Super Human” or more so a “Super Hero”.

 

My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them. ~ Bono

 

So, what does this “Super Hero’s” do? Well, just about what we have known them for doing. They do good deeds, serve humanity, protect people and loved ones, help the poor and needy, fight every obstacle, fail but never give up, goes away in silent contemplation, returns with solutions and courage, accomplished their objectives, succeeds and become a hero amongst those who depend on them.

 
Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.  ~ Benjamin Disraeli
 
 
In other words, they are generous and charitable in nature, helpful and giving in deeds, protective of their loved ones, willing to face every obstacle in life, and develop solutions to get over them, be willing to fail and learn from their experiences, always keep moving forward in life, think, indulge in some self-analysis, make some positive changes in self, change attitudes and muster courage and persevere until they win.If you give these a little thought, you will soon realize that every single one of these acts is possible by you, I or anyone else. Many of them are very simple ones. Easily do-able. The difference being the will and attitude! You do not have to freeze a lake, move a mountain, or fly around the world to do great things. Your greatness lies in the most simplest of things in your daily lives. Often your deeds are perceived to be much greater than you will ever know by those who value it and receive it. The drive, determination and will to keep trying to win regardless of the obstacles, failures, criticism, or time is what makes the difference.

 

Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer. ~ Ronald Reagan

 
Try being a “Super Hero” for just one single moment every day. It may become a habit. That habit may inspire another. That inspiration may become contagious and Voila! You have single-handedly influenced the world around you by that 1 single moment by being “Super Hero”!  You can do small great things and be a hero at work, become a hero for your spouse, for your children, for your siblings, for yourself. Try it! It anything, it will only add just another positive moment to your life. No, it doesn’t take much. And once done, make it a habit and collect such several “Super Hero” moments and make your life worthwhile. Sponsor a child, a family, be charitable, volunteer at a local shelter for those in need, be compassionate, tolerant, loving, generous, selfless and forgiving.
 
 
The reason progress is slow is that we always expect other men to be the heroes and to live the heroic lives. But we all have hero stuff in us. In our sphere of life we can always live more heroically and triumphantly and grow in heroic stature.  ~ Wilferd A. Peterson

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