Category Archives: motivation

Your CHARACTER defines the real you


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“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, exposing the class of things a man chooses and avoids.”

“A good character carries with it the highest power of causing a thing to be believed.” ARISTOTLE (c. 384 – c. 322 BC) Greek philosopher

 

We each in some form or another yearn for love, respect, compassion, acceptance or acknowledgement regardless of our denials or refusal of this fact due to our respective egos. These things have a larger impact in our lives by bringing “value” the several things we do or set to accomplish in life and in the process helps build our purpose and define our lives for us.

 

“A man’s character is his fate.” HERACLITUS (c. 540 – c. 480 BC) — Greek philosopher

 

 

We each end up searching and finding a mate, sometime we demand as opposed to command the respect we believe we have earned, and at times of difficulties and hardships we anticipate the comfort of compassion and frequently and often secretly desire some sort of acknowledgement or praise for the good deeds we have done or the things we have accomplished. When we do not receive these very things that we so dearly desire, we are left disappointed or hurt. Our life, the things we do, the efforts we put in and all our dreams end up feeling meaningless when we do not get the desired “ultimate outcome” .  Such is life. If victory wasn’t the desire wars would be futile and the ultimate outcome of conquering the land or resource will be meaningless.  We are ultimately simple beings often doing one things or the another to earn the very things we desire that completes us, or gives us purpose, satisfaction, meaning, direction and comfort in our lives.

 

“Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident, riches take wing, and only character endures.” HORACE GREELEY (1811-1872) — New York newspaper editor

 

But these things we so desire are only earned and stays with us based on our characters. For example: we can certainly attract people towards us and invoke love in them for who we claim we are or who we pretend to be, but the love will only be gained and will remain with us if it was built and based on our sound character.  Similarly we will attract a pseudo love or temporary love that will never stand the test of time, hardships, stress, or have integrity or loyalty. Worst is that we will lose such love the moment our true character comes out.

 

“The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically… Intelligence plus character – that is the goal of true education.” MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. (1929-1968) Civil Rights leader

 

The interesting thing about our personalities that invokes people to react to us is our character. Many of us manipulate others to gain the love, respect, compassion and acceptance by pretending to be who we are not and later left hurt and disappointed when we fail in this endeavour. There are those who pretend to be rich, pious, religious, holier than you, hard working, honest, smart, authoritative, experts, etc to gain their desired “ultimate outcome” be it respect, acceptance, love, etc. But when these are not based on truth or honestly the character shall soon reveal the truth and the true identity shall surface. Any honest or intelligent person who meets such pretentious individuals soon identify the true character.  One can do anything but the true ‘character” always prevails and defines the outcomes of what we set to achieve in our lives.

 

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” HELEN KELLER (1880-1968) American blind and deaf writer/lecturer

 

In todays world character holds a greater bearing on our respective individual personalities, goals, values, and most importantly our choices that defines our lives.  Even those who play video games are given the option to build or choose a “character” that will define the strength, qualities, skills and level of success in winning the game. Each character brings with it a whole new and specific set of virtues, strength, character, personality that defines the outcome of the game. The exact same results are defined by our real life characters. What we attract, how we react to experiences in life, how we approach events and people, how we cope with situation, how we reach out and achieve success and how we persevere and fights against this difficult life to accomplish out “ultimate outcome” is defined by our character.

 

“The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back.” ABIGAIL VAN BUREN (“Dear Abby”) advice columnist

 

Love, respect, regard, acceptance, compassion, are all attributed to an individual’s character.  One can be rich, occupy an authoritative position, look dashingly good, appear very beautiful, or religious, the true character is what will eventually prevail and get the world to react to it. Character is what will make or break you. So, what does a desirable and respectable “character” look like and what does it consist of?

 

 

Honesty: One needs to be honest and deal fairly with people regardless of how they feel about the individual. Keep your commitments, fulfill your promises and honor your words.

 

Respectability: Respect yourself and others. Conduct yourself with decency and be watchful of your behavior. Learn to be considerate of other people’s feelings and beliefs. You do not have to agree with them but you need to have the wisdom that peoples beliefs can be just different but not necessarily right or wrong and they are build by years of personal experiences and events in their individual lives. Respect them.

 

Choices: Your life is nothing but the result of YOUR choice. Make educated choices and weigh in the different outcomes of the choices you make. It is your life and your choices is all that makes the difference. By making good choices you influence the desired outcomes in life and all the appreciation, admiration and gratification that comes along with it.

 

Fairness and balanced opinions: Life is not fair, nor are many people and things. But it doesn’t help you becoming like them. You can only bring about fairness by how you play life. Build and uphold fair values and ideologies in life. Be fair in your judgment and actions. Develop and hold balanced opinions. Nothing is the “only” way. There are several ways to look at one single thing in life. Be fair, be known by your fairness and balanced judgment and suddenly you will find the world around you react to you in similar manner.

 

Compassion: Be honest in expressing your feelings ands care for others. Lend a helping hand whenever you can. Serving humanity is the greatest and the most satisfying aspects of life. Like yourself almost every other human being at some point in their life seeks other peoples help. Be there for others when they need you, especially those who depend on you.

 

Gratitude: Express gratitude every time you have an opportunity. Be thankful for all the things you are blessed with in life and appreciate them. There are many who are less blessed than you and there are many who may appear to be more blessed than you. Every human being finds himself or herself in the middle. The rich are unhappy so are the poor. Each person at the end of their spectrum have their share of happiness and unhappiness. Do complaint or compare. But be appreciative and strive to get better and build on what you are blessed with.

 

Be self critical: In order to become better and truly grow in life, one has to learn to be self critical. Ask yourself if how you live is right? Develop moral values and high principals in life. Strive to become a better person. Improve your quality of life, thinking, speech, behavior and choices.

 

Inspire: Build your personality on sound values and actions of positive progress in life. Just as you have a set of individuals and experiences that have inspired you in your lives, you too will invariably have that effect on others. Learn to live life in a manner that inspires others. Your advices and wisdom fall short of your actions and deeds in life.

 

Moral Values: Do things that is right and that which appeals to your moral conscience. Moral behavior develops moral character. The most difficult of times in life are the most testing of your moral behavior and choices. Strive to always be connected to your moral self and chose to do what is right, even if it is the most difficult. It will help you live a life free of any burden of guilt.


Learning to appreciate life and being grateful


For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wake up with a sever head ache often. Lying on the bed and staring at the ray of morning sun light on the wall that breaks through the curtains into my room, I reluctantly think of my sad life briefly and curse every moment of it. Why do these things happen to me? what did I do wrong to deserve this?, why cant anyone understand me or just simply reciprocate my honesty and genuine love with theirs? What does it take for people to be nice and honest?…… this bloody job I go to go to this morning… ah! I hate this life, I hate it vehemently and I hate the state of affairs!

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.  ~Epictetus

 These were the things I used to think almost every single morning after my divorce a few years ago. These feelings and thoughts were often compounded by the drudgery of day to day living with my bitter self and extremely critical and cynical outlook towards life. And I loved it! It soothed my soul with self pity. I could cuddle my thoughts and my love and pain for self and sleep away in my tears until the next time the sun breaks through those bloody curtains in my room. A lifestyle as my beloved brother so eloquently puts it: “wallowing like a hippo in a swamp”. A despicable life of absolute ungratefulness, total disregard to the people who still love me, support me, care about me, and disrespect to my work, my colleagues, their collective support and understanding and all the wonderful things I am gifted with in my life.

After the daily ritual of waking up with such extreme negativity I choose to conveniently forget the wonderful shower I have under the 10 inch Rain shower head that I had installed, sit in my super gorgeous Audi A6, listen to the soothing music on my Sirius Sat Radio, and glide to the prestigious company that I work for. I treat myself to a fancy lunch with my colleagues, return home in the evening and visit my brothers house and share a few million laughs with my ever entertaining and extremely funny nephews, get smothered in love, affection, concern from my family, then continue to meet with my friends and enjoy a few drinks and share a few more laughs and get back to my dungeon late at night. Dungeon: that is exactly where I lived. A nice 3 bedroom brightly lit house filled with old bad memories and my lonely self. And then I continue to wallow like a hippo in a swamp.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. — Cicero

 

Oh yes. I did many other things I could to divert my attention and try to appreciate the pain and sorrow of others. I sponsored a child, gave away money as much as I could with all the generosity I could muster. I helped everyone as usual without any regard for self and my own need for rest, money, security etc. All and anything I could do to help others as I always do and even more now. Volunteer at the local shelter for the homeless, donate food to the food bank, and be as charitable as I possibly can be.

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. — Christiane Northrup

 

But what I never did was be grateful for what I have and the amazing life I could live where I could do all these wonderful things for others and the endless love, support and the joy I could share with my wonderful family and friends. The concept of Thankfulness and Gratitude didn’t exist in my swamp! Not a single bit! Yeah, yeah! They told me everything I knew already. Be positive, look at the tragedies other people have gone through and still continue to be positive in life, take up a hobby, appreciate life so on and so forth. But they haven’t been hurt like I have. They haven’t experienced my pain. How world they know? They were never betrayed, they weren’t emotionally abused, looted, pillaged and lived through what I called a “Shakespearean “betrayal! Ha! Advice is cheap! Save your breadth, do not teach me the things I already know, but just simply keep giving me love and sympathy. That is all I needed now. And I continued to become a bitter person every day and morphed into this obese sloth that always had something negative or cynical to say about almost everyone or anything that I came across. Look at that idiot how he is driving his car, stupid waitress, ruthless boss, unjust and over demanding customers, lazy goal keeper, bloody airline staff, and thus the list continued.

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced. We are more often occupied with noticing what we are given, thanking those who have helped us, and repaying the world in some concrete way for what we are receiving. — Gregg Krech

 

Then one fine day, I woke up just simply tired! TIRED! Tired of being me, and what I had become. No, I didn’t have any life altering experience, no incident of intense inspiration, no epiphany, no bolt of lightning! Just simply woke up totally tired of being a despicable negative slob. I dragged myself to the mirror in the washroom. Took a good look at myself. And there I found this animal I never knew. Jouls hanging like a bulldog, a big pot belly, man boobs, unkept 70’s style long hair, a permanent frown, bags under my eyes, and just horribly haggard. And I couldn’t help think of this whole world around me and how they continued to still respect me, tolerate me, love me, and support this monster I had become. This negative, ugly, bitter and ungrateful monster, that I myself would never want to do anything with.

I soon began to realize a few very important things as I continued to ponder on what I had in my life as opposed to wallowing on what I didn’t have. I am an intelligent person with great wisdom. I am free and without any serious responsibility but for my own self. I have sufficient time on my hands. I am educated, smart and well informed. People value my opinions, seek my advice often, some look at to me for guidance or inspiration. I am nothing short of a perfectly able person with the ability to think on my own and free to choose how I want to live. And yet I chose to live the way I did. There was nothing holding me back to achieve what ever I wanted or desired for. And if there were any obstacles on my chosen path, like they always do, I could certainly come up with something to overcome them or avoid them based on my skills, intelligence and choice. But in order for me to help choose to make this very necessary charge towards a positive life I needed to do one thing first. I had to realize and deeply understand the amazing things I am truly blessed with. I needed to learn to appreciate the things and people around me with absolute honesty and humility. I had to learn to be grateful!

What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. — Ralph Marston

 

Since then, my life has been pretty good. I laugh at the silliness of the drivers in rage, I have learned to be more patient with the waitress, understanding of my bosses challenges and limitations, more empathetic of my customers situations, cheer on the goal keeper for at least trying his best to stop the puck,  request for the window seat as opposed to rudely demand at the check in counter, and understand their challenges too and do not expect to get a window seat and be pleasantly surprised when I get one. Life became easier, and suddenly I begin to notice nicer people, kinder people, more smiles and tolerance. With this came the can do attitude, the courage, the art of working towards solutions as opposed to worry about problems, and above all making better choices and taking full responsibility for my choices and the resulting outcome.

 

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. — Marcel Proust

 

I believe that all of us are too busy in our respective lives lost in our work, sorrows, pains, relationships and momentary self gratification my accruing materialistic things. We are too busy satisfying our bosses, our friends or loved ones, or just pampering our own self, our inflated egos, our sorrows and complexes. And being lost in this fast changing indulgence of momentary experiences of small satisfactions we often neglect the very core things, people, and experience that nurtures, feeds and holds our soul. These are often the experiences and things that mater the most in our lives, which we unfortunately only realize after having lost them.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

 So, take some time from your life to think about those people who hold you, understand you, support you, and care about you. Take some time to list the wonderful things that you have in your life for a change. Take the time to count your blessings. And think how your life would be without these people, and things. And when you will naturally experience the appreciation of these people and things, get up and go express your gratitude. Express your gratitude just in words but by your actions, deeds and the way you honor them by taking care of your life. And there beings your first step towards living a truly happier and satisfying life.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.  ~William Arthur Ward

A few things you can do to become a more thankful being and appreciate life more.

  • Count your blessings, the things you have and the people who are always there for you (in person, morally, emotionally etc)
  • Enjoy what you have and do not cry over the things what you don’t. But also work towards getting the things you desire. They will not come to you by being bitter. Work towards it, earn it.
  • Exercise your choices in life and choose to be positive and better. Not negative and bitter.
  • Be generous and help others. By sharing their problems that you can help diminish will help you appreciate the problems that you do not have. Offer to help others if and when you can.
  • Be charitable. Support those who are less fortunate.
  • Thank others as much as you can. Express and show your appreciation for the things they do for you. Send a thank you note, give a hug, phone them and let them know you appreciate their presence in your life.
  • Practice some self criticism in an effort to self improve always. Learn to look at your life as an opportunity to do something positive as opposed to wasting it away in worries, anger, bitterness and hatred.


Life Goals that are never achieved can hurt you


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Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.  ~Doug Larson

 

Like many of us, I have my collection of unaccomplished goals in life. Several dreams and ideas I once had and set about to achieving them but never stayed the course and accomplished the goals that seems to be all important to me at one time. Loosing weight, getting healthy, starting my own business, getting a better job, adopting a healthier lifestyle, earning more money, buying a fancy car and the list goes on endlessly. Some of them I did manage to achieve, some I worked very hard  towards but gave up along the way, some I continue to work towards periodically, and some I shamelessly blame the circumstances or have managed to find an excuse to justify my failure. The series of these unaccomplished goals at times are overbearing on my motivational levels and setting newer goals in life. As we all know, we each have our set of several small and big life goals in life and we spend our life trying to achieving them. The dreams and ambitions are never ending and a continuous process where we pick up newer ones as we go along. Some we set to achieve, and some we let fizzle away sooner than we spent time coming up with the idea. Before we realize we are sitting amidts a clutter of unfinshied work. This is no different than sitting over a stack of papers in the pending file, or several pots and pans overfolwoing the sink in the kitchen that neeeds to be done but you never get the time to do it, and you ahevt nothign but mess around you. The long list of pending dreams only grows as your mind keeps jumping from one to another. So, what does drive such ambitions in life? What makes those other winners, and achievers in life different from us and why can’t we achieve our goals in life? After all, if we think about it, we realize that we too can do the same things many of these successful people have done and become successful. We are able, smart and hardworking people too who carry several or more of the skill sets displayed by many of these achievers. What truly differentiates us from others in achieving our goals and becoming successful and feeling great with the positive sense of accomplishment?

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.  ~Henry Ford

 

Playing a game on the Xbox or Playstation is simply an almost profound experience. The thrill of beating the opponents and getting to the next higher level keeps the player glued to game until all stages are won and have been totally satisfied that you have finished the game and achieved the ultimate score or level. If you put in a little more thought into it, you will realize that the amount of effort and skills punt into the relentless pursuit of achieving the ultimate score or beating the toughest level is par excellence. The player looses several times over and gets back into the game to cross that stage to the next. Then the perseverance and will continues from one higher and tougher level to another. From one maze and set of hurdles to another tougher obstacle the player consistently sets and relentlessly tries and beats the goals each time to eventually win the game. Night or day, sometimes all through the night and without break for food the game goes on. I find this whole process and the level of commitment to be fascinating. The process of choosing the goal, the level of focus towards attaining the goal, the strategic planning, execution and the perseverance brought to the game is nothing short of some excellent behaviors displayed by several world class achievers.  But what amuses me more is that why don’t people put in the same level of efforts, persistence, skills, and self induced motivation into achieving greater things in life. Where does the never say die attitude, the will, the level of endurance, the drive to face any obstacle and over come them regardless of number of times they have to go at it, the highest level of persistent until the game is won go when it comes to setting and achieving life goals? After all, it takes the same exact process that ones already endure to win at a video game to achieve greater and much more rewarding successes in life.

It is never too late to be who you might have been.  ~George Eliot

When it comes to setting real life goals and achieving them, there are several theories and strategically developed points that help one go about becoming successful. But there is little said about the purpose of life goals in comparison. Often it is the “purpose” of every life goal that drives an individual to stay the course and relentlessly pursue the goal to success or it lets them to deviate and eventually loose its value and interest in attaining them. The true driving factor towards any success in life, is the true value of the goal you set yourself to achieve. The value of this goal can only be defined by the purpose, the need, and what the end result will mean to you in your personal life. For example: If you aim to get a better paying job. It is more important to think of this goal through with the focus on why do you need this and what will you specifically achieve by attainting this goal. If the next job pays more, what will the pay increase accomplish and why is that important for you. You need a higher pay to afford a more comfortable living, buy an expensive car, save more for frequent holidays, buy more things for your children or family etc.? And why is this important? Is there any other way you can derive the same level of satisfaction with other things in life as opposed to being able to buy more things, or have you considered cutting down from your current list of expenses and save the amount of money you need to achieve these objectives? These are the kinds of questions one needs to truly ask and spend some time before choosing a life goal. The answers to such questions helps develop and realize the intensity of your particular need. The higher the need the more persistent you will be to achieve this goal and face any hurdles you may face along the way towards achieving this. If this need or choice of goal is not high on your need list, you will most likely be inclined towards giving up pursuing this goal at some point along the way. It could be your first major obstacle, the time it consumes, or you may find another way of attaining the same end results and you will soon lose steam. Before you realize you will soon have left behind a trail of such half initiated dreams and objectives that never got completed.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

~ Zig Ziglar

The trouble of such unaccomplished goals and objectives is that it soon becomes a habit and would have taken the best of your time and skills. A sense of being a failure will begin to creep upon you and you will soon begin to be judged by your series of unaccomplished goals rather than your efforts or purpose in life. Several of us have such unaccomplished goals in life. For some reason to other, we all are guilty of doing this. We dream up an end result, get all excited towards achieving them, list up a rough idea on how we will go about achieving them, drum up some support, and begin to share our dreams and ambitions with everyone we can. But later, we lose focus and let other priorities and challenges take precedence before we realize we are dreaming up or chasing another goal we have chosen. This happens because the need to achieve the goal and the true end results of achieving them was not really high up on our “needs” list.  We find ways or learn of another means of achieving the same objective or often find other more interesting dreams to pursue.

I don’t care how much power, brilliance or energy you have, if you don’t harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there you’re never going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants.  ~Zig Ziglar

You will find several processes and methods developed by many lifestyle and motivational coaches at the book store or on the web. But all of these processes are only meaningful if and only if your have chosen a goal which holds a very high value in terms of your needs. Once the need to achieve this goal is very well defined and understood with all your mind body and soul, you will develop a strong sense of focus towards achieving it and will set forth towards accomplishing your objective regardless of the obstacles, difficulties, challenges or time. Whether it is loosing weight, winning someone’s love, getting a better job, getting a promotion, making more money, buying a bigger house, it is worth spending considerable time on thinking through your choice of life goals and what it truly means to you and gets you in your life. It is imperative to  ask why this goal is important for you, and what impacts will the end result have in your life and more so, if the end result of achieving this goal is truly what you desire and if that is worth the time and trouble you are willing to put into achieving this goal in life. Imagine the surge of positivity and energy we can experience by being successful in life by accomplishing and achieving the meaningful goals we set for ourselves in our lives.

 

Life golas that are abandoned or never achived sits in your mind like clutter. The sense of unaccomplishment, failure and depression due to these feelings will conitnue to hurt you unless you do somethign about it. You need to stop procatinating right NOW!. Get up, get moving and first filter through the set of goals you have got. Discard the ones that are less meaningful in life and work on the ones that gives you a greater sense of purpose and value. Goals give you direction, focus, aim, motivation and purpose. Achieve them, accomplish more meaningful goals and live a happier and successful life. Once you have achieved one, set another higer goal and write your own success story. Remember: The only thing that stops you from being successful is you!

 Shoot for the moon.  Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.  ~Les Brown


The wisdom to win every loosing fight


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A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning. ~
Billie Jean King 

Every one of us likes to be recognized for our efforts and deeds. Perhaps not necessarily by elaborate recognitions, awards and titles being endowed upon us, but certainly by means of appreciation, respect, acknowledgement, gratitude and love for the things we do.  Some of us may do things expecting nothing in return, and do things for our own personal or spiritual satisfaction, while others may set out to accomplish great things because they believe in its value and purpose. But then there are those who do things to be the best in whatever they choose to do.

The great winners who become inspirational heroes, guiding light for others to follow and accomplish the unthinkable are those who combine all of these three qualities and values towards one determined purpose. To win and be the best of the best!

It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not a winner. ~ Vince Lombardi

Every fighter, sportsman, politician, writer, activist, actor, or anyone from any walk of life who has done something great and is being regards as an inspirational figure demonstrated the same qualities of these three kids of people combined in accomplishing what every they set out to do. They believed in their purpose, yearned for the respect and appreciation of their peers, aligned their personal and spiritual goals, and strived to be the best they can every be in what the intend to do.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

The most wonderful thing that comes out of a combination of such qualities is Courage and Determination.  Both of  which are supremely essential for one to persistently face, and overcome each and every hardships, obstacles, deviating forces, confusion, delays, frustrations, failures, exhaustion, fatigue and losses.  For the road to success entails all of these aspects regardless of your objective and final goal. It is inevitable for one to question these numerous challenges along the way, but to get to the top a true winner doesn’t stop to ask “why?” but rather chooses to ask “why not?” Because, once you win and get to the top, it is only the hard knocks and the harsh lessons you experienced along the way that gives you the wisdom, humility, balance, and character that others find inspiring.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

The fighter in the ring consistently and strategically beats and breaks down the opponents’ body every round after round. While he is doing so, the opponent is simultaneously doing the same to him. Both keep going at each other till each other’s body breaks down in the most excruciating of pain. They both finally reach at the verge of collapsing. It is at that very point in the fight, the true winner emerges. After the total breakdown of physical power, the true fighter while lying down, gathers his will, courage and determination, (mind over body) and gets back on his feet.  It is in that moment where he goes above and beyond the will, determination and courage of his opponent that he wins the fight. But in that very moment where he experiences the pain, and agony of his body, he realizes the strength, might and power of his adversary. Thus he becomes humble, forgets the prefight hatred, expresses his respect and gratitude to his opponent and gains the respect and adulations of his peers and fans alike.

Winning is about heart, not just legs. It’s got to be in the right place. ~ Lance Armstrong

Several people face their share of battles in life. Some of us choose greater ones to fight. Hopefully these battles are of worthy and noble purposes. But where many of us fail is often at the last round. Where you need your will, determination, and courage to take over your body and stand up. We face several challenges and fight them all until the last round. It is in that very moment our choice in action determines if we will be a winner or not.  And it is right there where the experience gained through all the hardships faced along the way, calls upon your wisdom.  The only thing that stands between you and the winner in you is YOU! Your choice, will, courage and determination!

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. ~ Vince Lombardi


The hero within you


 

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Heroes are ordinary people that have achieved extraordinary things in life.  ~ Dave Winfield

The funny thing about us people is that we are perhaps the only species that does a mistake knowingly and with full awareness. We are the only creation on this planet that know what is wrong and still make a deliberate choice to do it anyway.A superior creation with the greatest gift of skills, knowledge, and abilities that surpasses every other creation often knowingly and willingly do the most stupidest of things in life. We know the consequences of smoking and are fully aware of the numerous stats and facts there are available, yet we willingly choose to smoke.We know how our actions, careless attitude and words may hurt the very people we love, yet we do it.We know what we need to do to succeed in life, become better people, and make simple yet great contributions to our world, yet we choose to take the lazy or easier path in life and choose to indulge in vain behaviours.

We the “Knowledgeable Man” – “Human Beings” do it.

If there is anything that the world, history, people, life, and every major event has thought us, it is that we people can do the most amazing of things in each of our lives. We can destruct, create, hate, love, take or give and live as nobody and stay bitter due to our prejudice or become somebody and leave behind a legacy. We can make great positive contributions to humanity, our family or even just one individual. We can influence, coax, inspire or provide. Yet often we end up doing nothing.

When we compare our lives today to those who lived just a few decades ago, we will realize that we live a much easier life with several amazing tools to our disposal. We go to work in much more sophisticated cars, speak to people on a wireless telephone linked to our car via Bluetooth, travel faster, cheaper, do several tasks more faster and error free, enjoy the best of technology and comparatively life a much easier life. We also live in much bigger houses, have the ability to exercise more time for our recreation and interests, and tap the whole world of knowledge and information thought our browsers via a phone. Basically, our abilities, knowledge and life has exponentially grown in the last few years as many of us continue to enjoy the mundane monotonous routine, and  indulge in the ever consuming materialistic world of toys, entertainment, self entitlement and insatiable greed.

Then amongst the midst of us emerges a hero. An individual who almost experiences the same life most of us do, but yet sets to achieve a task that many of us seldom take the trouble or have the inclination to do. It almost happens every day. Saving a drowning person, a fireman saving someones house, a doctor saving someones life, a sports man breaking a record, and the list goes on. Amidst the numerous tragedy, crisis, vanity and selflessness of the ever chaotic world, these often unsung heroes go about doing many great things in life. Some may not seem great to many, but the greatness is certainly experiences by those who receive it. It could be simple things in life that we may never think about. Visiting our aging parents and helping them out, driving courteously, being kind enouhg to stop your car a little while longer to allow someone to cross the road on a cold day, helping someone needy, buying a coffee to the door man at your building, or even a simple hug to show someone who you care and love them. Even such simple gestures often mean a lot more to the person who receives it. Only if we could exercise a little patience, some genuine care, showing respect for humanity, humility, righteousness, just actions, tolerance, acceptance, forgiveness, and above all using our time and skills to benefit others, almost everyone us can truly become the daily heroes in someone’s life.  If you thing about these a little deeper and draw parallels with the Super heros we know off, you will soon realize that this is exactly what they do. The same thought process, honest care, standing up for what is right, serving humanity, helping the needy, doing what they can within their powers to save others from trouble or being wronged.  So, how different are you really from any Super Hero?

My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them. ~ Bono

Superman, Batman, and the list of fictional heroes along with the several real life heroes and achievers like, scientists, politicians, leaders, sportsmen, musicians etc., also go through several problems we experience.  They too face and  fight against obstacles, fail but never give up, goes away in silent contemplation and return with renewed will and zest, find solutions and courage, and overcome their fears and hurdles to become a hero.

Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.  ~ Benjamin Disraeli
In other words, they are generous and charitable in nature, helpful and giving in deeds, protective of their loved ones, willing to face every obstacle in life, and develop solutions to get over them, be willing to fail and learn from their experiences, always keep moving forward in life, think, indulge in some self-analysis, make some positive changes in self, change attitudes and muster courage and persevere until they win.If you give these a little thought, you will soon realize that every single one of these acts is possible by you, I or anyone else. Many of them are very simple ones. Easily do-able. The difference being the will and attitude! You do not have to freeze a lake, move a mountain, or fly around the world to do great things. Your greatness lies in the most simplest of things in your daily lives. Often your deeds are perceived to be much greater than you will ever know by those who value it and receive it. The drive, determination and will to keep trying to win regardless of the obstacles, failures, criticism, or time is what makes the difference.

Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer. ~ Ronald Reagan

Try being a “Super Hero” for just one single moment every day. It may become a habit. That habit may inspire another. That inspiration may become contagious and Voila! You have single-handedly influenced the world around you by that 1 single moment by being “Super Hero”!  You can do small great things and be a hero at work, become a hero for your spouse, for your children, for your siblings, for yourself. Try it! It anything, it will only add just another positive moment to your life. No, it doesn’t take much. And once done, make it a habit and collect such several “Super Hero” moments and make your life worthwhile. Sponsor a child, a family, be charitable, volunteer at a local shelter for those in need, be compassionate, tolerant, loving, generous, selfless and forgiving.
The reason progress is slow is that we always expect other men to be the heroes and to live the heroic lives. But we all have hero stuff in us. In our sphere of life we can always live more heroically and triumphantly and grow in heroic stature.  ~ Wilferd A. Peterson

How to become a greater person and live a happier life?


  

 

Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written in the history of this generation. ~Robert Kennedy

What is greatness and what does it take to become a great person?

It is a state of mind where one feels or is believed to be superior when compared to others who are similar in type and kind. It is a quality an individual posses that is perceived to be better than all others who are comparable. And we bestow this generous title on those who have do something that is considered beyond ordinary or attainable. Or at times greatness is also witnessed in simple and basic human behavior which elevates someone to a higher status than others. An act of charity, sacrifice for another person’s benefit, inspiring others, being of timely help to someone, visiting a friend a relative to spend some time with them and make them laugh, selflessness, or even a simple kind gesture of kindness can all account for small greatness that each of us can achieve. Needless to say the gratifying experience that we enjoy when we do such small things helps us perhaps reflect upon our own purpose and value in our lives too.  It also encourages us to more such acts and spread more kindness to the people around us.

 Greatness lies, not in being strong, but in the right using of strength; and strength is not used rightly when it serves only to carry a man above his fellows for his own solitary glory. He is the greatest whose strength carries up the most hearts by the attraction of his own. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Greatness can be directed towards self. Greatness in character, in thinking, and taking the trouble and initiative to self improve and progress in our lives. Every one of us gives up at some point in our life on the account of hardships, obstacles, lack of resources or support. But we usually come back to it again and try again. If we didn’t try to over come these obstacles and had given up every time we feel or stumbled , we would never have learned to walk, talk, read, learn, survive, educated ourselves, get a job,  love, trust people, and succeed in life. And people, who are very similar to us, went on to achieve small greatness in each of these simple aspects in their respective lives. They chose to run, speak with beautiful words, choose great material to read, leaned lot more, survived difficult times, learned and chose to get better qualification, get better jobs, earn more, love more, forgive and go small but many such greater things in life.

  As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves. ~Mohandas Gandhi

And contrary to popular belief, a person need not be born privileged or with greatness to do great things in life. If we read the lives of many who have contributed the most amazing things to humanity and our world, we will realize that almost every one of them raised from humble beginnings, unthinkable hardships and betrayals. But they were determined, they believed in themselves and persevered to do what they believed in. And they accomplished their small dream or ambition to leave behind an act which we considered to be great. A recent poll conducted by CNN for the Hero of world award was a world-wide revelation of a number of people in our world today who continue to great things in life. People who are not any much different from us. Feeding the poor and needy, clearing mines in Vietnam, helping the war victims selflessly, helping the impoverished, being charitable, simple basic contributions and volunteer work. And there are also those who have made their millions and then spend it all back by being charitable.

 Every day, people settle for less than they deserve. They are only partially living or at best living a partial life. Every human being has the potential for greatness. ~Bo Bennett

Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children. ~Khalil Gibran

 Greatness lies in many simple things in life. It really does not take much to do these “Small Greatness” in our daily life. 

Here are 20 simple “Small Great things” we can do and make ourselves and the world we live in a better place:

  1. Forgive those who have done wrong. Let each pay for their deeds, learn their own lessons in life from their mistakes. But you forgive!
  2. Inspire someone by your good deeds, actions and character. Do not tell them, but show them and inspire.
  3. Volunteer your time if you can for a noble cause such as raising funds for cancer, packing food at a food bank etc.
  4. Try to lessen your hatred and bitterness by being tolerant and accepting of other people, culture, habits, and beliefs.
  5. Do not hold any prejudice.
  6. Spending time with your children and do not mind being silly for a while.
  7. Appreciate someone for doing a good thing. It only encourages them to do more of the same again.
  8. Take a cause that serves humanity. ie. cleaning the environment, recycle, use less chemicals.
  9. Write a letter or a note to someone, that will make them feel good about themselves and express the joy and pleasure they bring to you. 
  10. Appreciate the people who love you and do things for you. A simple thank you or a hug can often say a lot.
  11. Try not to deprive an elderly person of anything they desire for and you can afford to give. Love, time, care, concern and an occational scoop of ice cream. You will not believe the amount of happiness you will bring to them!
  12. Remember names of the people you interact with and address them by their name next time you meet them.
  13. Help guide someone through a process to help them establish themselves at work or a new city. 
  14. Do not be too proud or too shy to accept your mistakes and say sorry.
  15. Visit a ward for terminally ill and ask how you can help by volunteering just 1 hour from your weekend. You will be amazed to see the value you can bring to such wards and people.
  16. Develop and educate others with balanced and unbiased opinions about issues when they seek your advice.
  17. Help give some hope in their times of need by sharing your experiences and how you managed to overcome them.
  18. Donate the things you do not use such as used clothes, toys, furniture etc that are in good condition to the needy regardless of their color, race or religion.
  19. If you can sponsor a child or a family. The amount of damage caused by the recent wars, famine, natural disasters and political dismay have left many little orphans, families, and people desperate for basic needs and necessities for their simple survival while the world is swamped on paying the debts that fed these very wars, vanity, and corruption.
  20. Pick up the phone and call that brother, sister, parent or that friends that you have held grudges against and put the senseless anger and bitterness behind you. Start afresh and try to enjoy this short life of yours with less hurt and anger. You will certainly feel lot lighter in your heart and be much happier in your life.

 

 “The first test of a truly great man is his humility.” – John Ruskin

 “There are countless ways of achieving greatness, but any road to achieving one’s maximum potential must be built on a bedrock of respect for the individual, a commitment to excellence, and a rejection of mediocrity.” – Buck Rodgers

“The nobler a man, the harder it is for him to suspect inferiority in others.” – Cicero


Every “problem” is an “opportunity” to find a solution – Cubixrule!


 

“Every problem contains within itself the seeds of its own solution.” ~Stanley Arnold

Problems! Dont we all have them? Relationship problem, financial problem, technical problem, political problem, etc. The list could possibly never end.  We face problems from the day we begin to breathe. Even the most basic aspects of life begins as a problem. Unable to talk, walk, express moods, communicate, eat, were all once problems. But we didn’t see these as problems. Even in our infant stages of life without adult thinking abilities, we are naturally wired to resolve them. We try, and try again until we over come these “problems”. Perhaps it is our most basic instincts and nature to see each of these problems as challenges and approach them relentlessly as opportunities to grow. Many of us as kids often take the same approach towards over coming many of our challenges too.  We will stay up all night, fight sleep and often skip meals to repeat all the stages till we overcome all the stages until we beat it and finish that video game. And once beat that game what do we do? We go get the next tougher game to beat. 

This wonderful attitude and behaviour pattern surprisingly fades as we grow older. We lose the vigor and the attitude we take towards solving the problems we face. Certainly, the problems do become a bit more complex in life. But sadly our attitude and approach becomes lot weaker. We learn to take on more stress, worry more, procrastinate, escape from problems or find excuses. But what would life be like if we didn’t do these and continues to approach every problem in our adult life as opportunities to solve them? We would invent or develop “solutions”! Solutions to enable people to carry over 10,000 songs in a tiny chip, solutions to fly over 200 people on a 710,000 lbs of aircraft across the atlantic, solutions to over come our common or complex problems in life. The key is how we approach these “problems” in life.  

“Cubixrule” is a term I came up with for the process I use to solve many things that I consider a problem. It is rather an unconventional way to approach a problem where I learned to see them as an opportunity to find or develop a solution rather than worry about it endlessly and let it consume my life and health.

The term “Cubixrule” itself was inspired from Rubik’s Cube, which I was introduced to by my older brother when I was about 11 years old. It was the hottest things in the world then. Everyone was talking about the complexities of this puzzle and were racing to figure out a solution. After several weeks I had developed a solution on my own. Ever since I learned to solve it by myself by developing a few short series of algorithms, I began to apply the belief that if I could solve such a complex puzzle, I must be able to solve many other problems in life.

Many years later, my older brother once again (God bless him) got me another puzzle. This time it was another puzzle developed by the same inventor Rubik again. This one was called Rubik’s clock. Along with this puzzle, my brother gave me a copy of a Time magazine in which there was a small article about this new puzzle and how the inventor himself was seeking a physical solution still. The computer suggested a few million possible solutions to this puzzle, but an actual physical solution was not developed yet. Unlike the cube this puzzle was a disc with nice clock faces on either side. The objective was to turn the four dials on the side of this puzzle and get all the nine clock hands to the 12’0 clock position on both sides.  

Three and a half days later, I had solved the puzzle and had developed a 17 step solution to solve the puzzle in less than 30 seconds. Once again I applied the “Cubixrule”. By this time, I had formed a definition for this word in my mind. It was a few positive fact based statements to define the thought process to solve a given problem.

 Cubixrule – is a thought process where it is believed that:  “Every problem has a solution. It is only a problem until a solution is developed by someone. Therefore, every problem is nothing more than an undeveloped solution. And the challenge to be the first one to develop the solution is an opportunity to lead the world to a new higher level”

 I have since often reverted to “Cubixrule” when ever I have been pushed against the wall by a problem or stressful issue in life. My mind begins to think of various possible solutions that I can possibly come up with in a short period of time. And strangely after mulling over this phase for some time, I often stumble upon the “Eureka” moment often in the middle of the night or in my dream. This eureka moment is when I come up with a solution that was earlier considered to be unthinkable, unimaginable, impossible, or often simply plain stupid. And it arrives with a sense of confidence, and vigor that never dies until I have tried it and made it work.

“Focus 90% of your time on solutions and only 10% of your time on problems.” ~Anthony J. D’Angelo

But “Cubixrule” has its challenges too. Because it involves a level of unconventional thought process, sense of immense confidence in self and determination to come up with a solution that was undeveloped ever before, it may be considered to be stupid by the world around us. Historically, when someone spends their time on doing something that is popularly considered to be as impossible, it has always been considered to be a waste, an effort in vain, and often stupid. And the challenge is not to give in to this pressure. Never!  There may be several trials, errors and failures in Cubixrule. But being persistent, logical, analytical, and realistic is a must if you are determined to succeed. It is also important to always see every failure as a lesson to learn from and build on its teachings. Always remind yourself that the problem on hand is just an undeveloped solution.

“We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~Albert Einstein

It is true when they say that: “Only the ordinary people do the most extraordinary of things”. Every scientist, politician, visionary, inventor, discoverer, musician who gave our world many wonderful things and knowledge were once considered to be ordinary. Each and every one of them faced their hardships, critics, ridicule, depression, stress and obstacles and overcame them by their own respective versions of “Cubixrule”. They each did the extraordinary. The saw the undeveloped solution and set to develop one themselves and eventually proved their world wrong.  If one digs a little deeper into any of the major inventions, processes, solutions that we enjoy today and how they were developed, we will soon learn that each one of them faced and over came their problems by seeking out the respective solutions.

Likewise, we are all such ordinary people who can certainly do extraordinary things. Many of us many not realize that we have been doing many such things since our childhood. If we were people who fear failure or what people will say or think we would have never learned to walk as a child, we would have never learned to speak, learn, express our feelings, study, face the world, have relationships, grow up and succeed. But we did and continue to do such things all the time. We each faced our share of respective challenges and over came them after a few falls, failures, trials and errors. Some hurdles in life may be small and some very tough, but nevertheless, we  use our internal positive will and energy to over come them. We can move further to solve many such problems in our lives and accomplish many extraordinary things. All we got to do is to see each problem we face with our version of “CUBIXRULE” based on our objectives, will, and the desire to solve it. Be it a financial problem, a relationship, a work related, mechanical, or any problem that life throws our way, the attitude, will, and the determined approach we apply will eventually help solve it. The art is to look at the “problem” as an “opportunity” or a challenge to use all our skills, experience and intelligence to find a solution and solve it!

So, what is your problem?


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