Category Archives: INSPIRATIONAL

Giving thanks on Thanksgiving


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Your life as a Zen Garden


Best-Zen-Garden-Wallpaper-on-Garden-Decor-zen-garden-wallpaper-iphone-I recently met a person who casually told me that she was in multiple relationships and hence is a bit stressed. I found it a bit strange for someone who I met for the first time said this to me in a formal business setting. Anyway, not wanting to be judgmental and  polite I didn’t make any comments or react to it in any particular manner. Honestly, it didn’t concern me much, its her personal life and it was fine with me. But she went on to explain her relationships a bit more to me in an effort to clarify her position and impress upon me that I or anyone for that mater should not judge her based on this casual comment she made.

This is how she explained:

Her father was a highly passionate gardener who specializes in building   nihon teien – Japanese Garden for his clients. Although a Zen Garden is mostly a Rock and Sand arrangement, he often combined the elements of a Japanese Garden with the Zen garden philosophies which was very popular with his clients.

But he did take the art and the philosophy of the Japanese/Zen garden to heart and made it the basic philosophy of his life in terms of his relationships and life in general. He raised her and her siblings with a strong belief that one should conduct their lives as a garden where they are their own gardeners. Especially, a garden of Zen, – a garden of tranquility, balance, aesthetics, space and peace. In this garden, you choose the elements that will make your life beautiful and all that you desire by you as a gardener, investing your time, passion, care and commitment. Thus, the Zen Garden of your life will be as follows:

The Japanese/Zen Garden. A pristine place of perfectly manicured trees, plants, clear path ways with perfectly located open space. The basic 4 rules to build such a beautiful place of tranquility and peace are

1) most trees and plants should be taken care of by constantly trimming them in perfect shapes and regularly watering them and nourishing them with the right amount of soil

2) some select trees and plants should be allowed to grow as per it’s natural beauty and shape

3) all paths should be clean without clutter and

4) each zen garden should have a space to sit and meditate.

5) Rocks should be strategically placed to support the garden.

Life. It’s similar to a Zen Garden where you are the gardener. Your relationships are like the trees. Each need to be trimmed and cared for as you want them to grow into your life. You shape them in your garden as opposed to them growing out of your bounds and liking. However, a select few of them can be allowed to grow to its own beauty such as a child or someone whose natural self just beautifies your life.

Always keep your thoughts and mind clear as the pathways and make it a point to provide for your personal space. A place to collect your self and your thoughts, meditate and calm down. In your life, similar to the rocks, there are a few relationships that will support you and hold you down to the ground when you need it most. You can always lean on them and use them for support. Pay a lot of importance to these rocks in your lives.

This will make your life a life of tranquility, beauty, peace and balance. Enjoy your own Zen Garden life!

 


Stop being the problem and Start becoming the solution


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What can a better you do?


A better person inspires better people, makes better families who build better societies, who make great countries, who influences a better world.

ONE SOURCE TO A BETTER YOU: http://despicablewonderfulyou.wordpress.com/

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Why being a Non Conformist is AWESOME!


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Why being a Non Conformist is AWESOME?


Happy ThanksGiving!


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Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. — Marcel Proust

Perhaps Thank giving is really an excuse to take some time from our lives to think about those people who hold us, understand us, support us, and care about us while we are too busy satisfying those who really do not care about us. Take some time to list the wonderful things that you have in your life for a change. Take the time to count your blessings. And think how your life would be without these people, and things. And when you learn and realize these blessings, GET UP and GO EXPRESS YOUR APPRECIATION AND GRATITUDE! Express your gratitude in action, words and your attitude in life. Honor their love for you by taking care of your life. And this perhaps will being your first step towards living a truly happier and satisfying life.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ~William Arthur Ward

A few things you can do to become a more thankful being and appreciate life more.

  • Count your blessings, the things you have and the people who are always there for you (in person, morally, emotionally etc)
  • Enjoy what you have and do not cry over the things what you don’t. But also work towards getting the things you desire. They will not come to you by being bitter. Work towards it, earn it.
  • Exercise your choices in life and choose to be positive and better. Not negative and bitter.
  • Be generous and help others. By sharing their problems that you can help diminish will help you appreciate the problems that you do not have. Offer to help others if and when you can.
  • Be charitable. Support those who are less fortunate.
  • Thank others as much as you can. Express and show your appreciation for the things they do for you. Send a thank you note, give a hug, phone them and let them know you appreciate their presence in your life.
  • Practice some self criticism in an effort to self improve always. Learn to look at your life as an opportunity to do something positive as opposed to wasting it away in worries, anger, bitterness and hatred.
  • Turn your negativity to positive behaviour and inspire others to do so.
  • Earn others respect and love by developing a fine character and behaviour.
  • At times, take a break, stop, breadth and soak in the abundance of natural surrounding you are blessed with that you can enjoy.
  • Appreciate life, and the good health you have. It will eventually fade away and your end will be very near. Trust me this does happen too fast.
  • Make efforts to bring joy and happiness to everyone you touch in your this short life. You live only once and for a very short time. Let people remember you for your good rather than your bad.
  • Let go of negativity. You cannot move forward with your foot tied to your past. We all do mistakes and fail, but never crumble and die. We can overcome several challenged and device our own solutions and progress. Make the effort, and a series of small gains will bring about greater accomplishments.
  • Learn to forgive others and be accepting and accommodative of the differences amongst people. You are as different as you see others to be. It is the values and similarities that makes the world progress. Thus, enable this process do not be a hindrance.
  • Try being an inspirational example to the younger generation. You may seldom realize but often they notice and learn from you often.

Be Grateful to life, your family, friends, and everything that is around you that you often take for granted. Just like your mobile phone, you will be lost and troubled without them. They are your connection to your inner self! They eventually influence and become an integral part of your identity. Be Grateful, Be Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving! …….with my condolences to the Turkey.


Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth


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Somewhere in this world today sits a senior executive in a company boardroom secretly disagreeing with the popular consensus of the people in the room because he or she sees something that is morally wrong and greedy objectives. Across their country perhaps sits a young graduate working on his or her secret aspiration to develop the next big software that could possibly change the world of mobile phones. Sitting at the desk in India, which was once popularly known to be a poor country, sits a billionaire working on how to take over an American corporation.  Standing in a line up at the security check in USA, perhaps stands a father watching his young teen daughter being stripped of her basic dignity and being scanned through a machine and people watching her and thinks what can he do or say that could challenge the system and inspire them to develop a less invasive and more sensible process.

No man can cause more grief than that one clinging blindly to the vices of his ancestors.  ~William Faulkner

Similarly today there are those who choose to appease their immediate management and superiors and comply with programs and actions for personal benefits. There is a teen on his or bed thinking of ways to convince their parent to buy them the next greatest feature filled expensive mobile phone. And across the room sits their parent figuring out what can they sacrifice from their personal lifestyle to siphon out a few more hundreds to help pay their credit card bills that they never thought will be a problem one day. And there lays another young uncorrupted mind thinking about the biased information fed by someone who he or she thinks has the knowledge and wisdom and has managed to  entice them to join a popular growing opinion that benefits the propagators more than the activists.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it – even if I have said it – unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.  ~Buddha

In this advanced and fast developing world of ours are people who are passive non conformists, those who challenge the popular opinions against harsh objections or possible persecutions and there are those who indulge in ritualistic and monotonous day to day living by conforming to popular norms and processes as dictated by those who they consider are authoritative figures, experts and intelligent people who know what they are talking about.

In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.  ~Bertrand Russell

If one thing statistics, recent and past history has proved to us is that the popular opinions, democratic decisions and expert advice have often been more wrong than right that has resulted are severe and damaging consequences. This is was not true the economists would have foreseen and avoided the crisis that grips the world of finance today, doctors would not have misdiagnosed several critical cases and get sued for their gross negligence, there wouldn’t be contradicting studies from researchers over drugs and food, America would not vote the president for two consecutive terms who drove them to economic crisis for personal and collective personal gains, and all corporations and their respective experts, authorities and top executives will not pay themselves millions of dollars and run their organizations to bankruptcy and  get bailed out by the common mans money. These and several other such examples goes to prove that experts, authoritative figures, popular opinions, and majority decisions are not necessarily the right ones. If anything they have often proved to be grossly wrong and biased. Our dependency and reliance on such figures, people and decisions needs to be based on individual sensibilities, common understanding of morals, values and the responsibility to educate ourselves on unbiased and sound facts before we make our choices. Especially the decisions and choices we make that deeply impact our own personal well being and those who depend on us or seek our wisdom and advice that may influence theirs.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. The mediocre mind is incapable of understanding the man who refuses to bow blindly to conventional prejudices and chooses instead to express his opinions courageously and honestly. –Albert Einstein, in a letter to a professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position

Such individual sensibilities, the power to change their world and surroundings stems from ones personal beliefs, educated opinions and self confidence. Many great scientists, inventors, musicians, politicians, revolutionaries and contributors to society were able to bring the inventions, computers, systems, and many things that has made our lives better were able to do this only by going against the popular opinions, total dismissal, humiliation, objections and over bearing influence of powerful conformists of their times. Also many organizations and corporate are brought to their knees by those individuals who stand by sound morals and principles when the collective top executive decisions are biased and unethical. So are the popular uprising in countries against their once powerful and controlling regimes, and political figures.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

But the challenge for every individual is to develop the courage, self-confidence and the wisdom to seek and form balanced opinions based on sound values, morals and beliefs without prejudice. These qualities are needed by those who choose to progressive evolve themselves, their societies, their world and make positive contributions towards their own prosperity, happiness, achievements and growth. Alternatively one can choose to continue to be ignorant conformists, passive non conformists, and follow popular opinions against their own sensibilities and conscience. Great countries, communities, corporations, families and people are inspired by intelligent, educated and progressive thinking without prejudice. If one feels the need not to confirm to processes, decisions, and opinions, it has to be based on intelligence to truly make positive progressive progress and gains for self and to the world we live in. Weather they are  political beliefs, religious or communal rituals, mundane processes,  or authoritative decisions, each needs to be examined, thought, understood and practiced on intelligent,  educated and balanced principles for positive and progressive living and growth. Allow your individuality to shine based on your sound moral beliefs and progressive attitude. Lead and make a new path for others to follow.

Individuality realized is the supreme attainment of the human soul, the master-master’s work of art. Individuality is sacred. –Frank Lloyd Wright

And a few more quotes:

Public opinion is a compound of folly, weakness, prejudice, wrong feeling, right feeling, obstinacy, and newspaper paragraphs.  ~Robert Peel

And who can doubt that it will lead to the worst disorders when minds created free by God are compelled to submit slavishly to an outside will?  When we are told to deny our senses and subject them to the will of others?  ~Galileo Galilei

Conformity is that jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.  ~John F. Kennedy

Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model.  ~Vincent Van Gogh

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. – Albert Einstein Quotes


New years resolutions? Again?


enjoying_life

 

It’s once again the time to reflect upon our last few days of gluttony and happiness with some amount of guilt and a lot of happiness. Soon, if not already, you will be asked and begin thinking about your New Year’s resolution. Once again many shall dismiss the need for them while others make some with the intentions to keep. While losing weight and getting healthy will continue to be the most popular choice, getting a new job, making more money, purchasing the dream home or car and moving to a new city shall remain in the top 10. Many shall reflect upon the good and the bad they experienced this last year and some shall learn from their experiences while others shall dust them off and continue to waddle into the next year with no lessons learned.

A few blog posts ago I had written a short story about how life lessons are very similar to climbing a mountain. It was a short story of a young man learning to climb a mountain from his uncle and after having reached the top his uncle passes some words of wisdom on the experience and how similar life can be. One of the lessons in this story was about how important it is to find strong grips to hold on to and use it to pull yourself higher up. But with that, a climber also needs to learn to let go of the previous one that he or she is holding on to presently. In order to progress we have let go of the old comforting footholds and have the courage to try and step upon new and higher grounds towards the top. Also from each experience we have we gather some wisdom on which footrests and grips are stronger and reliable in order to proceed further.

When a person is drowning they often try harder and do everything they can to swim towards the bank. Similarly, while swimming one tries to put their best effort at the beginning and spend all their force and energy towards the finish line. But what if one remains consistent all through the race and continuously progress from one stride to another? Why does one have to do their best only towards the end? What would happen if one spends such wisdom, energy and efforts all through their life at everything they strive to accomplish?

It is very nice to use the New Year as a symbolic time to reflect upon the past and make plans towards the future and set out with all good intentions to achieve them. But I believe we need to do this all through the year and it should be a continuous process of self analysis and progressive development. A healthy eating plan need not be out of sheer guilt after indulging during the Christmas Holidays. It should rather be a continuous process all through the year. The same applies to any progressive development and strategies one pick up in an effort to develop and achieve in life. But all through this process we have to learn to let go of the old and move ahead. We cannot progress by holding on to our old ways, thinking, hate, prejudice, anger, or habits. The only way to move ahead is forward towards better things and higher goals in life. We need to constantly reflect upon the choices we have made and what it has brought us and then amend our thinking with realization and action towards self improvement. Building better relationships, taking the time to improve meaningful relationships, learning something new, giving up on old stubborn ego based habits, and making better choices always leads to happier endings and content life. Some of these may not be easy, and we may need to persevere and struggle to make it happen. But the rewards of such things in life are equally greater. As an example: What is the greatness in loving someone who is already in love with you. It is given that you the mutual love in itself is a reward in a way. But the real greatness is in forgiving someone you doesn’t love you and still respecting them and loving them for the good in them, regardless of what they think of you. This makes you a better person, gives you greater wisdom, respect and the rewards shall equally be greater in life.

While making a New Years resolution this time, consider making a resolution to actively indulge in self improving habits by continuously reflecting on your actions of the past and taking action towards getting better all through the year. Making new and developmental resolutions should be a daily and continuous habit to truly improve and succeed. Have a vision for self and pursue it relentlessly from the begning to the end until you accomplish it. We do it at work, we struggle to help make others visions come true, we spend out time and energy towards realizing others dreams. We need to do the same for ourselves too. We need to develop a vision, dream, develop strategies, make plans, and put it into action. Then we have to overcome obstacles, face challenges and persevere and once the goal is accomplished, move on to the next dream. From this year to the next and forever!


Charge your Self Esteem to a much happier and successful YOU


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via Charge your Self Esteem to a much happier and successful YOU.


Your happiness is tangled in your choices


Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.  Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.  ~Denis Waitley

A strange fact that amuses me is that people from advanced, developed and progressive countries travel to what are called third world countries, or under developed countries in search of Happiness, Peace and the meaning of life. Where as, people from such countries migrate to the advanced and developed countries in search of progress, wealth, career, freedom and security. Either way, neither of them seem to be happy where they are.  People with the most advanced of technology, freedom and many things that make life easier are not happy and those who do not have any of these are unhappy too. Strange isn’t it?

I have often asked myself and several of my friends what they would do once they have accomplished and fulfilled all their desires in life. Like, if you have got your ideal house, live in your ideal city or location, have an ideal family, and financially are very well and secure, what would you want to do next?  And I began writing their answers in several small notes and pieces of paper and kept them. What I found from all of their answers was almost very profound and extremely interesting.  Almost all of them said they would want to do these things:

Be charitable and help the needy.

Adopt or sponsor an orphan.

Help the poor and not so well off people in their family.

Take up an artistic hobby. That is writing a book, paint, write poetry etc.

Pay more attention to their faith and become better people.

Be more forgiving and go seek those they have hurt in the past and seek their forgiveness.

Make peace with those they have been upset with and help bring those they know who are angry with each other together.

These were the things almost all of them said they wished to do once all their life desires were fulfilled. And when asked why, all of them said mostly because they always wanted to do these things but are too busy fulfilling their dreams and desires. And they also said that if they do these things listed above, they will bring more meaning to their lives and feel they have accomplished something and make themselves worthwhile and meaningful. By doing these, it will bring them lot of happiness and peace.

What makes me wonder is why do we wait to fulfill all our desires and wishes before we do such things? Why can’t we do almost all of these things now, today and make our lives more meaningful and become lot happier right now? Why can’t we do these and bring ourselves this happiness and peace today?

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.  ~Mark Twain

What comes in between happiness and ourselves is our own choices and actions. The circumstances around us has always been changing and will continue to do so until we perish. And in this life we will set several goals for ourselves to achieve. Some we may accomplish and some we may not. But the true happiness is not experienced when we achieve the goal or after achieving it. True happiness lies in the journey. The process where we spend most of our respective lives.

It takes, once again, a simple process of self-awareness and understanding of our needs, wants, and our desires in life to truly realize true happiness. Often we will find many little things that we can derive happiness from. And many a times we may realize that we already have them but we never took the time to realize it.

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.  ~Frederick Keonig

Once a person I knew told me a little story about happiness which I found very profound. It was about a little boy who was at a fair holding his Dads’ hand and having a good time. Suddenly, his Dad left his hand and stopped to talk to a friend he found in the crowd. The boy walked a few steps further and realized that his Dad was not around him and he began to cry. And the people who were passing by wondered why a little boy amidst a fair with all the wonders and amusements a child would enjoy was unhappy and crying. They could see this boys’ Dad beside him, but the little boy couldn’t due to the crowd around him and hence continued to cry.  Thus, what we assume gives us happiness may not be true. The materialistic things, momentary happiness, instant gratification by purchasing fancy gadgets or clothes is not what truly makes us happy. Like the little boys’ experience, true comfort and happiness lies in our secure relationships, love, dependability on someone, emotional support, financial security, and in the company of those we can share our happiness. Similarly we can be much happier in sharing our happiness, doing good, making ourselves a better person and helping others be happy. True happiness, and peace lies within us. We need to search within and realize the many gifts we take for granted and do not value. Happiness is around us and in our choices, attitude and actions.

If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.  ~Bertrand Russell

What are the things we can do to become much happier in our lives? :

  1. Learn to leave the past where it is supposed to be and move ahead in life.
  2. Do well in your job and work smart to succeed always.
  3. Smile always.
  4. Do not be overly critical of others and the mistakes they do in their lives. Let them be. You work on being better first.
  5. Show the people dear to you that you care.
  6. If you get a chance, go out with a kid and play.
  7. Forgive others and do not hold on to any prejudice.
  8. Count your blessings.
  9. Be charitable. Help the needy and poor regardless of their cast, color, faith or country.
  10. Do something creative.
  11. Move to and live close by to your friends and family.
  12. Share a joke with someone.
  13. Be self-reflective and make changes for the better in yourself.

14. Let go of your stubborn ego for someones happiness.

15. Dont waste your life being bitter and angrgy with the world around you. Instead, do something positive about it, change it, and inspire others to follow.

16. Realize that what you thing of any particualr issue is strictly your opinion based on very limited knowledge of the situation. Only the ones in the heart of the issue know the true truth and facts and thier actions are based on thier personal first hand expereince within the matter. Often things do not seem what they truly are. So dont be judgemental and wate your time and intellect rediculing and passing vile judgements.

18. Impress yourself first. Do somthing different and positive.

19. Everyone needs to learn thier lessons by falling first before they learn to walk and run just like you did. Do not appoint yourself as a teacher or a saviour. Instead be there as a help for them when they fall and give them the comfort of your unconditional love and support.

 


Breakfree from failure and disapointments…


“If you are going through hell, keep going” – Sir Winston Churchill

It can’t be said any better in the simplest way. Just keep going, do not stop, turn back, deviate, or give up, but just keep going until you get out of it. Many of us are faced with many heart breaking or disappointing situations in our lives. It is how life works. Perhaps it is a necessary evil in our lives that makes us value happiness and appreciate our other blessings in life. Also I do understand that how people act or react to each situation is unique to their individual personalities and experiences and thus I am not generalizing any set universal solution or approach to help stop a self-destructive process due to any given incident.

I have experienced this type of behavior first hand several times in my life and struggled with this phase myself with all that I could to get out of it. I did loose a huge part of my life, emotions, peace, mental balance, and valuable time doing so, but I survived. Now that I am out of that in my life, I can’t help but see it as an escape from a high security prison, where I was being incarcerated for something I never did or deserved. But now that I have cried my way out of it, dug the deepest trenches, crawled out of the darkest tunnels and after immense struggle I see the light of day and freedom, I feel it has been an experience I need to share.

I have learned several lessons in the process and learned firstly to analyze and understand my actions and reactions to each and every situation in life. I learned that I may not be able to understand why others did what they did and how can they be so inhumane and ruthless in their actions. But the only thing I had full and exclusive control over is my actions, reactions, determination, persistence to succeed, ability to think and my will to defend myself from such things and recover from a fall. This further led me to see each and every single option I had at my disposal that I could have chosen to avoid these incidents from happening. But if only I had the wisdom, and smarts to separate my emotions from my rationality I could have avoided a lot of problems in my life. It is strange how life finds a way to warn you about things that could go wrong and we somehow see it but never realize it in good time.

But I realized that when we face such difficult times, we let our emotions take over our intelligence. We begin to feel sorry for ourselves and take the situation as though it was a failure on our part. But I also realized that it was absolutely okay to fail in our lives. It only takes such failures and set backs for us to build ourselves stronger, built our resolve, learn and go further in our lives. Failure is nothing but often the first step to success. If you never fail, you will never succeed truly. The best of horsemen have often broken a bone or two. But they became the best because they chose to get back on that horse as soon as they fell. It is in the darkest of hours and times that the best things in life were created and the brightest ideas were born. And what is more amazing is that the simplest and most ordinary of men came up with these greatest ideas and creations. The fact remains that it was often from the darkest of times and the severest of hurdles, obstacles and criticisms the most ordinary of men came through with the greatest of creations, inventions and ideas.

I am listing a few famous failures below. At one point the idea of these people reaching the heights they had reached would have seemed absurd, but they too faced their share of hardships and many of their ideas, spirit and courage were born out of these hardships. Many didn’t just fail, they failed in spectacular fashion and they failed several times. They didn’t for once accept the negative and give up saying that are imperfect human beings, but instead they took pride and had belief in their capabilities, abilities, drive, courage, and the will to stand up again and fight till they got what they wanted. They were persistent to succeed, had the patience to keep failing, learning from their failures, holding on to their hope, keep trying and wait for their time to come and then some more to succeed, and be determined regardless of consequences.

The grand list of failures who never gave up..

Abraham Lincoln – One of the most amazing and often referred to. Former US president Abraham Lincoln, lost his fiancé, had a nervous breakdown, first went into politics at the age of 23 when he campaigned for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly and failed. He was defeated in 8 elections. He once also opened a general store which failed after only a few months.

Robert M Pirsig – His well known book “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” was rejected by 121 publishers. Since finally being published in 1974 it has gone on to sell millions of copies in 27 languages.

Michael Jordan – A well publicized and well known fact about the most famous name in basketball was actually cut from his high school basketball team.

John Wayne – Before his successful acting career he was rejected from the United  States Naval Academy.

Steven Spielberg – This household name dropped out of high school and applied to attend film school three times but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average.

Beethoven – His music teacher once told him that he was a hopeless composer.

Harry S. Truman – This former USP resident was rejected by the US Military & Naval Academies due to his poor eyesight. At one point he was a clerk in a newspaper mailroom, and also an usher in a movie theater.

Babe Ruth – This baseball legend struck out 1,330 times.

Henry Ford – The Ford Motor Co was Henry Ford’s third business, the first two didn’t work out.

Winston Churchill – This former British Prime Minister did poorly in school and had a speech impediment in his early years.

Marilyn Monroe – Marilyn Monroe spent much of her younger years in foster homes. One of her first jobs, during the Second World War, was inspecting parachutes. Producer told her she was “unattractive” and could not act.

Walt Disney – He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for lacking in ideas.

Soichiro Honda – The founder of Honda was turned down for an engineering job by Toyota after World War Two.

Charles Darwin – His father told him he would amount to nothing and would be a disgrace to himself and his family.

Albert Einstein – He learned to speak at a late age and performed poorly in school.

Thomas Edison – As a boy he was told by his teacher that he was too stupid to learn anything.

Isaac Newton– He failed at running the family farm and did poorly in school.

Harrison Ford – The Vice President of Columbia told this actor that he was never going to make it in the business. The actor?

Beatles – Turned down by a recording company saying “We don’t like their sound and guitar music is on the way out” They were talking about the Beatles

Stephen King – Received 30 rejections and the author threw it in the trash. Luckily his wife fished it out again and encouraged him to resubmit it. The book was Carrie – the author

So, what do we learn from these examples? Should life throw a curve ball at us, do we accept defeat and duck ro whack the hell out of it?  The resolve and belief in ones own capability can never be realized by another’s opinion. Regardless of what the world says or indicated regarding your possibilities, it is imperative that you march on until you shut them up. But you have to do this with the realization that failure is merely an essential experience to achieve grand success.

We will be defeated in love, work, school, sports, relationships, trust, faith and almost everything that we lean on. It is absolutely possible and expected for a person to be betrayed, cheated, let down, hurt etc. But this is just a part of the process. We cannot afford to choose the negatives over the positives and live our lives based on our pitfalls. It is a coward act to blame the world, weather, and the dog for the choices we make in our lives.

It is okay to fail, fail, and fail again. But what is important is that you tried. And what is even more important is that you either correct yourself, analyze your reason to fail and try it again after you correct it, or stop doing the same mistake over and again. As they say, one of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.  Instead, analyze, realize you’re a human being, correct yourself, learn from your mistake and move on.

Your reaction to failure will lay the foundation to your future opportunities to succeed:

Next, do not be cynical about life. As Oscar Wilde once rightly put it; “A Cynic is a man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing”. Take a step back; analyze first your decision, your reactions and what you could have done to avoid the situation. Next be forgiving and learn from this mistake. Avoid such individuals or situation next time around. And above all, move forward, and progress in life. In a few years you will not even remember this event or may be too busy with other priorities in life. This experience or phase will just be a bad memory of the past. But this happens only when you will move forward in life as opposed or regressing and letting a bad even take over your life and control your future. Do not be negative about a mishap in life.

It is very easy for us to slip into a negative zone where we indulge in our sorrow and begin to crumble when we are faced with stress and failure. Here are a few things you can do to snap out o fit and take life by its horns:

  • Realize you are destroying yourself, your future, and your life for the amusement and entertainment of others who do not care about you but at the expense of your loved ones and yourself.
  • Know that at times what you think is betrayal or a loss when someone walks away from you or abandons you without good reason; it could actually be for your own good as they secretly know something about themselves and are too ashamed to share it with you for your own good.
  • Do not question or try to analyze the motives of others when you are wronged. Only they truly know their motives, reasons and let them justify it with their poor reasoning abilities or suffer from eventual guilt and consequences. It is often their loss.
  • Analyze your actions, reactions and mistakes. Think of the warning signals you ignored, your reactions to them, your action, your mistakes that you could have avoided or controlled and learn from them. Remember them, and do not repeat them.
  • Do not indulge in negativity. Be positive and choose to move ahead in life for better things. Know that bad things happen to everyone. Be it a president, a millionaire, a poor person, a celebrity or an unknown. Each move on. They pick themselves up, dust themselves, learn from their fall and move on only to become stronger and smarter next time and win more respect and admiration for how they handled their situation.
  • Others can tell you things all you want to hear There are good friends, family, professionals etc all to advice you on how to rebound or what to do. Many a times you yourself know what needs to be done and what are the right things to do. The challenge is to CHOOSE to do it. To get up and take action.
  • Always remember that it is absolutely normal and okay to fail. Not just once, but perhaps several times. But learn from your mistakes and correct yourself. You need to stop yourself from failing. You do it in video games; you do it in love, friendship and many tasks that interest you. You just have to choose, stop, refocus and make genuine efforts to win and succeed.
  • Word hard to develop and carry the attitude to succeed, accomplish, do great things, and achieve greater goals and do greater deeds in life. Have the attitude and aptitude to inspire, lead, protect, defend and shine in your life as good, decent, and fantastic human being.
  • Solidify your ability to endure, persevere and keep trying with just one unwavering goal and aim to accomplish your desire and the resulting rewards. Be it to get a qualification, a degree, an exam, a profession, a task in a job, an ambition, a deed for your loved ones, or even being patient for the sake of your loved ones happiness.
  • Above all, aspire to win. Inspire others by winning against the odds. Show them how it is done and do it well. Motivate others by setting an example on how to come out of the darkness. Share your successes and see it help others.

Remember: If you fail in one thing it doesn’t mean you are bad in everything. You could be great or the greatest in one particular thing in life if you wish. And you are always lot more worthy than you think of yourself to be. Realize the simple great things you can do every day in your life and make it worthwhile. This is not the great secret to success.

Strangely, many of us know these things very well. But surprisingly many of us never get to taking actions towards breaking free from failure. We take great pride in several things about ourselves, often we are arrogant about our small achievements in life and get angry when anyone thinks any less of our intelligence but we never seem to put enough faith in our wisdom, ability to formulate a plan to overcome our setbacks and fight towards success. The truth about many of our failures in life is that we never really did anything to fight back.

Your life is nothing more than the choices you make in your reactions to everyday events!

 


The Dark Knight in you!


 

In the latest installment of the Dark Knight trilogy, Batman comes out of the shadows after having taken the blame for Dents death to protect his friend the commissioner, then fights another battle to over come the bad guy, faces his set of challenges (health and emotional) and eventually fights his way out of a near certain death to save the city and humanity once again. Ironically one individual did just the opposite of what the hero of this film sets out to do and went on a mad shooting rampage last week. An ironic display of two men and the choices they make; one to save the world despite his persona challenges and the other, more villainous than one in the movie, who chooses to disrespect humanity and kill others.

 

 You know, heroes are ordinary people that have achieved extraordinary things in life.  ~ Dave Winfield

  The funny thing about us people is that we are perhaps the only species that does a mistake knowingly and with full awareness. We are the only creation on this planet that know what is wrong and still make a deliberate choice to do it anyway. A superior creation with the greatest gift of skills, knowledge, and abilities that surpasses every other creation, do this.We know the consequences of smoking and fully aware of the numerous stats and facts there are available, yet we willingly choose to smoke. We know how our actions, careless attitude and words may hurt the very people we love, yet we do it.We know what we need to do to succeed in life, become better people, and make simple yet great contributions to our world, yet we choose to take the lazy or easier path in life.

We the “Knowledgeable Man” – “Human Beings” do it.

If there is anything that the world, history, people, life, and every major event has thought us, it is that we people can do the most amazing of things in each of our lives. We can destruct, create, hate, love, take or give and live as nobody and stay bitter due to our prejudice or become somebody and leave behind a legacy. We can make great positive contributions to humanity, our family or even just one individual. We can influence, coax, inspire or provide.

Yet we either choose to do nothing or often choose to do what is wrong.

When we compare to those who lived just a few decades ago, we go to work in much more sophisticated cars, speak to people on a wireless telephone linked to our car via Bluetooth, work on a laptop with soft wares that practically required basic data input, come home to super think 3D TV programs, best of foods, inside our fanciest houses, and sleep on perhaps the most comfortable and scientifically developed luxurious mattress. And never stop finding reasons to complain about our life, people, fate, bad luck and anything we can find to blame things on!

A little patience and thought in making choices, a little bit of honest introspection, a positive attitude, some faith, and a whole lot of tolerance. Hold these together using sound morals, good values, and sincere and consistent attempts to make yourself a better person, shall make you nothing short of a “Super Human” or more so a “Super Hero”.

My heroes are the ones who survived doing it wrong, who made mistakes, but recovered from them. ~ Bono

So, what does this “Super Hero’s” do? Well, just about what we have known them for doing. They do good deeds, serve humanity, protect people and loved ones, help the poor and needy, fight every obstacle, fail but never give up, goes away in silent contemplation, returns with solutions and courage, accomplished their objectives, succeeds and become a hero amongst those who depend on them. And the amazing thing about these heroes is the fact that each one of them face their own set of challenges and obstacles and fights to overcome them. There seems to be no escape for them either., They too have their share of adversities and over come them with perseverance, courage and determination.

 

Nurture your minds with great thoughts. To believe in the heroic makes heroes.  ~ Benjamin Disraeli

 These famed heroes are generous and charitable in nature, helpful and giving in deeds, protective of their loved ones and others, brave enough to be willing to face every obstacle in life, and develop solutions to get over them, be willing to fail and learn from their experiences, always keep moving forward in life, think, indulge in some self-analysis, make some positive changes in self, change attitudes and muster courage and persevere until they win. If you give these a little thought, you will soon realize that every single one of these acts is possible by you, me or anyone else. Many of them are very simple ones. Easily do-able. The difference being the will and attitude! You do not have to freeze a lake, move a mountain, or fly around the world to do great things. Your greatness lies in the most simplest of things in your daily lives. Often your deeds are perceived to be much greater than you will ever know by those who value it and receive it. The drive, determination and will to keep trying to win regardless of the obstacles, failures, criticism, or time is what makes the difference.

Heroes may not be braver than anyone else. They’re just braver five minutes longer. ~ Ronald Reagan

 

Try being a “Dark Knight” for just one single moment every day. It may become a habit. That habit may inspire another. That inspiration may become contagious and Voila! You have single-handedly influenced the world around you by that one single moment by being a”Super Hero”!  You can do small great things and be a hero at work, become a hero for your spouse, for your children, for your siblings, for yourself. Try doing one thing every day that is either generous, brave, selfless, caring or simply humble. Any of these will only add just another positive moment to your life. No, it doesn’t take much. And once done, make it a habit and collect such several “Dark Knight” moments and make your life worthwhile. Sponsor a child, a family, be charitable, volunteer at a local shelter for those in need, be compassionate, tolerant, loving, generous, selfless and forgiving.

 

The reason progress is slow is that we always expect other men to be the heroes and to live the heroic lives. But we all have hero stuff in us. In our sphere of life we can always live more heroically and triumphantly and grow in heroic stature.  ~ Wilferd A. Peterson


To climb a mountain called LIFE!


“The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.”

– Tom Bodett

Life provides us with many experiences. In these experiences, regardless of them being good or bad, there can be many lessons, inspirations, solutions, and wisdom one can learn from. It only takes a short moment of reflecting upon them with an intention to learn and move ahead. Similarly there are many parallels in life with certain basic things we do. Organizing our work, use clear and analytical thinking, being courteous and tolerant, and choosing our words carefully are some of the things we do at work and in our professional environment. But we seldom choose to adapt to such behavior at home and amongst our family and friends. If we choose to adapt such behaviors at home as well, we can avoid a lot of simple problems the clutter out personal lives.  Maintaining discipline, controlling anger, choosing a calm and composed demeanor, choosing the words we speak, taking a more relaxed perspective, choosing to listen more and inspire by our own behaviors are some of the key things we can apply in many different aspects of our lives. If we can apply these principles, and demeanor at work, we can do the same while playing sports, and in our personal lives, at home, amongst friends etc.

 

Experience is not what happens to a man.  It is what a man does with what happens to him.  ~Aldous Leonard Huxley, Texts and Pretexts, 1932

 

Here is a short story which helps illustrate how such parallels come together to help understand life better. It is a short story of a young man, who, like many of us has been through some tough times in life and lost his will to keep fighting to keep his sanity in this world of treachery, deception and injustice. Life is full of wonderful experiences, that give us a lot of happiness and joy, but often along with all the joy we each have our share of sorrow and pain. This short story is about an experience that changed his life.

This young man has had more than his share of sorrow over his share of happiness, but the pain and turmoil he has been through has left many a deep scars that he is unable to cope with. Corporate politics, being penalized for doing what he thought is the right thing, unable to live a life of clear-cut principles but instead having to cope and adjust to what we call the “Grey Area” under the banner of diplomacy. Deceit in friendships, and failure in love, loss of trust in people, and the faith he once had in good. Looking around he finds himself surrounded by nothing else but violence, greed, selfishness, betrayal, arrogance, ruthlessness and disorder. One can imagine the state of mind of any individual in such circumstances. Many of us have or continue to experience many of these symptoms of social integration as I like to call it. Some have faced more hardships and hurt and some few, nevertheless, which often leaves a lasting change in behavior or attitude towards normal social interactions.

Seeking some peace and perspective he turns to his parents who have tried to support him with all they could offer within their limited means and wisdom they had to share, based on their wisdom and experience. After a lot of trials and support one day his parents call him over and hand him an envelope. In it lies a round trip ticket to his uncles’ cabin located in a totally secluded part of the Rockies.

Surrounded by still lakes, lush trees and majestic mountains, lives his uncle who is a renowned Mountaineer and adventurer. Having conquered a few Mountain peaks which were named after him, he spends his summers with a few fellow adventurers in his cabin teaching people how to climb mountains or run practical classes in wild adventure trekking. He was a man of many interesting and varied experiences and a collection of even more interesting friends with varied lifestyle.

So, one day our young man arrives at his cabin with a back pack looking totally tired and beaten up. Upon setting his eyes on him, his uncle pauses and takes a gulp in shock. Seeing his favorite nephew, who was once considered to be a dashing personality filled with vigor and zest for life is now nothing more than a bundle of nerves and sorrow. Although hurt by his appearance his uncle hugs him in his usual pride and love for him concealing his displeasure, shock and dismay.

 

Turn your wounds into wisdom.  ~Oprah Winfrey

 

That night, after supper uncle and nephew have a long chat over a few drinks. The young man cries his heart out to his favorite uncle and tells him of all that he has experienced and how he has lost faith in Good, God and Justice. How he felt he was betrayed by his friends and the person he loved, and the scars he has borne. Further due to these experiences how his behavior and attitude has changed and he has become very cynical and negative as a person, which is affecting his work, social live and his loved ones at home.

Having heard in detail of his life, and feeling very sorry for what he has been through his uncle continued to ask several questions in detail and listened to him with great attention, patience and interest. It was almost past 1:00 am and his uncle told his nephew, that he wants to take him the next morning to climb a mountain that he himself has never climbed before. He said that if he would help his uncle conquer the peak which should probably take a large part of the day, he would give him a gift that would solve all his problems and sooth all his sorrow. The gift would make him a very strong and a dynamic individual and he will be able to win all that he wishes for, and in due time and live a very happy and content life by turning things around his way.

Not having climbed a mountain before and looking for something different to do, the young man agrees. He spends his reminder of the night thinking of what the gift can be? Soon his thoughts drifted to all that he can do and how wonderful his life could be once he gets this gift. The life he will live, the things he would get for himself and the life of joy that he would lead. A good long spell of escapism filled with dreams and wishes coming true all that night as he lay staring at the ceiling.

Next morning he finds his bag packed and ready for the climb. His uncle gives him a pair of pants and a light tee shirt and is all excited as this is yet another mountain he has been waiting to climb and possibly map it right, which could give him the right to name the peak yet again. Sharing his excitement the young man, joins his uncle for the hour-long drive to the foot of the mountain. On reaching there he is left speechless standing at the foot of the mountain looking at the sheer size of the rock. He and his uncle stand there for a few long minutes scaling the rock in detail. The terrain filled with rugged surface, the sharp edges, the several crevasses, the steep rise and the jagged edges. The young man thought of the near impossible task that lies ahead of him. But having faith and total confidence in his uncle, he puts on his climbing shoes and with the help of his uncle, he puts on the climbing gear. The waist harness, the pulleys, sling harnesses, the various ropes around his shoulder, and several hooks and gloves, a small hip sack with chalk and sand in it, a bottle of water, and a very heavy back pack over his shoulder filled with more hooks, ropes, first aid, spike nails, four claw shoes, hammers, etc. He felt he was carrying at least twice his weight and wondered how he will manage the ascent.

 

There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience, and that is not learning from experience.  ~Laurence J. Peter

 

The Climb

Once they were all loaded up with their equipments, they began the assent. The uncle began leading the way and shouting his instructions to his nephew as they began the accent. Look out to the left, foot hold to the right, hand hold at two 2 O’clock, etc. Since the uncle lead the climb, he was responsible to hammer the nail in the rock, grip the pulleys, run the ropes through them, assemble the hooks and continue to do so as he climbed. Quickly the young man learned the basics and was doing well. Hold on to secure grips and scale the immediate 2 to 3 foot ahead, look for secure hand holds and quick foot stops. Use his hands to lift his body with little force on his foot stops. Moving from one hand to another, and using the help of the ropes his uncle keeps dropping down he continues to climb. Every once in a while he briefly looks down and feels thrilled to see how far they have climbed, but every time he looks up he is unable to see the peak due to the slopes and curves of the rock. However, he makes good gains in his climb for a first timer and keeps getting valuable tips from his uncle. Hold on to the grip, don’t climb now, take a breather, let go of one hand and feel for a hand hold in blind, pull yourself up faster etc. Before they realized they were half way up the mountain and quiet tired. The uncle was now scaling for a rest stop which is typically a short but firm horizontal plain where the climbers could typically stand on their two feet with no hand support. Often here the climbers leave behind some supplies to reduce their weights and take a short break depending on the reminder of their climb. While the uncle tried to swing towards a rest stop side ways that he thought could work, he happened to slip and lost his grip. He now began to fall off the cliff but firmly holding on to the ropes. He knocked his elbow on the rock and kept pushing himself away from the rock every time he came near and fell several feet down very fast, but he held on to one of the ropes he had run though and began to try and break his fall by tightening the harness to the rope by which the fall ended by a quick jerk on his harness as the rope locked on. The young man felt he was done for. Several thoughts ran through his mind while watching the whole episode. He being stuck alone, loosing his uncle, his family, and the possibility of loosing his life, how will he survive etc.? But he also tried to closely watch his uncle struggle to get back to his hold on to the ropes. The sigh of relief was like never before. As the time went by his uncle managed to scale back the altitude and managed to find a rest stop for both of them. A short break was surely warranted after their near death experience.

 

A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.  ~Author Unknown

Both of them took advantage of their break by sharing a few tips, while the young man had a few questions, they decided to drop off a few of their supplies which they didn’t need for the rest of the climb and took quick notes on the points where they have had secure nails and hooks planted firmly onto the rocks. Having scaled slightly over the mid-point of the rock they were pretty confident that they will be able to make the climb before sunset. Quickly they began to ascend again.

This time the conditions were a bit harder as the edges were sharper, colder temperatures, and slippery rocks as several years of hard windy conditions have smoothened the surface. There were fewer hand and foot holds how. But there were deeper crevasses, and sharper edges. They had to rely more on their strength and agility and speed rather than the tools and equipment they had. They had to rely on their experience of the first half of the mountain to understand where the possible holds could be based on the sheer character of the mountain. There were several short and steep cliffs that they couldn’t climb and hence had to swing themselves to wide spans to look for grip holds and supports. Each swing being a dangerous one and taking all steps necessary to ensure they do not slip like earlier. Now both had to rely on each other for support as they climbed the final few feet of their mountain. One clinging to other for support and at times one carries the other person’s weight when required. Giving a helping hand to one another, and looking up towards the peak they went on to continue their mission. When they looked down they couldn’t see the foot of the hill as it was covered by haze and dust and the rocks. But the peak now was in clear view. Soon they were at the top. As the young mans uncle grasped the final sharp yet strong edge of the final peak he looked down to his nephew and said we’ve made it!

 

 

The Lesson

Yet another mountain conquered! Another tremendous feat accomplished, that only very few can accomplish in this world perhaps. It sure was an exhilarating sense of achievement that perhaps, can only be experienced by such few individuals. As they off loaded their equipments and released their harness and sat down looking around, the young man couldn’t help notice that his uncle was not jumping ecstatically of his accomplishment. But he was calm, a wide grin on his face and kept looking at his nephew and enquiring how he felt and how was the experience. Looking around, the view was something the young man had never seen before, imagined or experienced. The sky was lit in several shades of orange, blue and purple as the sun began to set. He could see a string of other mountain peaks gleaming in the riot of colors. Total silence which was almost hurting his ears. He for the first time felt and realized what it meant to have a breadth taking experience. Although every inch of his muscles was hurting and he was in pain, the sense of accomplishment and scene was worth every second of the experience. He looked over his shoulder and saw his uncle sitting beside him and thanked him for the wonderful experience. He realized that this experience will last him for the rest of his life. Then he asked his uncle what he was thinking of naming this peak.

His uncle quickly replied with a big smile on his face that he had already decided before the climb to name this peak after his dear nephew! The young man couldn’t believe what he just heard. He stood up in disbelief and began shaking his head urging his uncle to not name it after him as he has done nothing worthy of such love and recognition. His uncle assured him that he did want to name it after him and this was the gift he had told him about last night before they went to sleep.

This confused the young man. Although over whelmed by his uncles’ gesture and gift, he couldn’t understand how this could end all his turmoil and bring him all the happiness and joy he spent the night dreaming about. His uncle could see the total state of confusion in the young mans eyes and smiled. He asked him to sit down and he sat beside him. He asked the young man to listen to what he was going to tell him today at this mountain peak and try to understand it. He urged the young man to hold on to every word he was going to utter and to ponder over the greater meaning of his words. And then he went on to explain to his nephew the following:

 

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.  ~Doug Larson

 

Life is like climbing a mountain, he said. Today, consider that you have learned a great lesson in life by climbing this mountain. Think of every single move you made and every single action of yours while climbing the mountain. This is exactly what you need to do in life if you truly want to succeed and experience true happiness, peace and sense of accomplishment as you do right now having climbed this mountain.

Life is full of crevasse, foot holds, hand holds steep ascends and sharp declines. Life is huge with several sharp edges and rugged patches. Amongst these lie our several hidden opportunities and dangers. And it is how we make use of these and how we maneuver ourselves is what makes our life a success or failure.

Let us reflect on what you did today from the very beginning. You first looked at the task on hand and wondered how big it is and how you will accomplish it. Then you took some time scanning it and studying the sheer magnitude of the task before you set out to accomplish it and then you firstly began preparing yourself for it by putting on the appropriate gear and taking up the proper equipment along. Similarly life is like this too. It’s filled with rugged surfaces, sharp edges, steep climbs and deep falls. But amongst which lies the foot and hand holds that help you climb, the gears of knowledge are at your disposal, and there is always a lot of support one can find. You will need to look for these supports, identify them, test them, and use the appropriate tools and gifts of skills that life gives you.

 

Convert difficulties into opportunities, for difficulties are divine surgeries to make you better.  ~Author Unknown
 

Adversity has the effect of eliciting talents which, in prosperous circumstances, would have lain dormant. ~Horace

 

Each event, turn or a phase in your life is like a mountain. Be it love, work, relationships, friendships, family etc. Each is like a task, it looks like it expects too much from you, and its an enormous task, but once you take a step back and have a broader perspective of it and understand it for what it is and have a mental clear understanding of the issue at hand and most importantly you prepare yourself with the right education, knowledge, and attitude you will have a greater chance of succeeding in accomplishing it or overcoming the obstacles. Many always approach their problems with a very wrong attitude and never prepare for it properly. People, and in this case yourself, lay thinking of the life they can have, after they have succeeded in life and waste their time instead of taking the much-needed steps to achieve the task. For example, if you had slept well last night without staying up in excitement of what life would be after you get the gift you would have been lot more agile today and we could have climbed faster. People are often blinded by their instincts and emotions which prevent them from taking an objective view of the issue at hand. Some handle their problems with no proper thinking and some with no proper equipments. The hooks, harness, gloves, sand and chalk, proper shoes are very similar to knowledge, experience, life lessons, smartness, education and wisdom. And the wrong tools are limited vision, narrow-mindedness, immature thinking, cluttered mind, cynicism, negativity, anger, rage etc.

Then consider how you climbed the initial phase of the mountain. Like the mountain, life too gives you several hand holds and foot holds. It is important for you to search for them and identify the good ones from the bad. Each hold or grip is like a change and opportunity in life. You have to choose the ones that will help you get ahead in life safely, faster and on secure paths. Some are weak opportunities and some are strong. Many make bad choices in these and hence end up where they are. Be it education, path in life, career, love, friends, they are let down only if they make poor choices in these. Each of these opportunities is plenty in life, but you have to search them and choose the ones that will take you to your destination safely without letting you down. They are also like any particular short-term situation in life. Each hand hold is like a situation you experience in your life. Here you have to understand that you will have to experience it and let go of it and move on. If you hold on to your hand holds and never let go, you will never get hold of the next one, hence never go ahead in experiences. Usually it’s common in relationships, especially when in love. People hold on to broken relationships like for the longest time and never move ahead in life. They spend more time hanging on to it which was primarily their lack of wisdom or a bad choice to choose that hand hold. They tend to over analyze and hang in there in sorrow and wallowing in self sympathy. They hang on way too long and hence never go ahead or move on. Remember that you will always have to leave one for the other. Unless you let go of the hand hold first, you cannot hook on to the other and pull yourself higher. Or else you will stagnate and eventually get tired of being stuck in the same place far too long.

 

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.  ~Marcel Proust

 

Next, the ropes you used and they way you used are the few precious relationships everyone has in their lives. And these relationships are based on your good deeds, acceptance, respect for them, behavior, honesty and loyalty towards them which are like the hooks and pulleys these ropes were passed through. The better your deeds towards them, they stronger the hooks and nails are. As it’s very important to secure the nails in the rocks and the hooks and pulleys, it is equally important for you to build these relationships on strong and secure deeds honesty and integrity. After all the ropes/relations lie and depend on these. So then again, it’s in your hands how you build these relationships. Their dependability lies in your hands based on how you have securely planted the hooks and what kind of hooks and nails you have used to ensure their integrity. These very relationships are the vital life saving lines for you in your life. Like you reach out and grab on to the ropes when you fall or climb up, it is these relationships that play a similar role in your life. It’s these relationships that help you climb in your life and they are always there when you fall to help you and support you. These relationships are often found in close friends, and some family members. They last you a life time. But again it is how you build these relationships and when do you rely on them and for how long and how much. Like the ropes there is only so much weight and pressure it can take. Nothing can be taken for granted in life.

 

There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from failure.Colin Powell

 

In general many things in life are totally dependent on our choices, approach, attitude, planning, and execution of the plan, preparation, and commitment and in this particular order. It always begins with our choice. What do we choose to do? Like, you choose to climb the mountain today along with me. Next is the approach and attitude, even if it’s not your choice, how did you approach the task or situation? Did you step back and try to understand it? Studied the task on hand? Where you negative, positive, willing to cope and adjust, manage the situation as best as you can? Then did you plan what to do and how to do it and did you follow the plan? How did you prepare for the task? Pay attention to your back pack, which is yet another vital aspect of your life and climbing a mountain. It best compares to your education and experiences. Many of us think it’s useless or don’t pay much attention to what we are supposed to learn from it. Like the back pack, its heavy in the beginning, filled with things we need and some we don’t. But as we climb and we use these tools the back pack becomes lighter and easier to carry. Similarly, we need the experiences and education. As we go ahead in life we often use them up and often collect some new ones too. But regardless of what it is if we do not learn and use them we waste what life has given to us.

 

 

 

So, life is such. And life is very similar to climbing a mountain. Always look ahead and up towards your future and the next move up. Do not look down as your past could be too steep a fall and it’s also something you have left behind and moved on and as you continue your climb up, you loose sight of the past, but the experience always lives on. But let your past be such were you have left behind the nails and hooks and ropes which your next generation and others could use and follow. Let it be your legacy that you can be proud off. In you life as you go ahead you will find the resting places as well. Stop by, take a breather, think things out, and clear your cluttered mind. Use these breaks to reflect a little of your past and plan your next move towards your future. It’s ok to do nothing at all for a while in life, but you can’t stay there for ever, or else it will go dark and you not have the daylight to climb the mountain. Leave behind what you don’t need there, as the higher you go, you will need more wisdom than tools. Also remember you cannot do anything alone, you often have to learn from others as well. Some people live a pseudo life pretending to know it all and done it all who never truly learn. They may impress the like-minded or the uneducated people but fail to impress the wise and the accomplished. You weren’t arrogant, or too proud to learn, you took tips and learnt a lot today. Thus you were able to get ahead with some help. And lastly, when you get to the top? Don’t loose your character. Be humble and modest about yourself. People who celebrate wildly at the top of the peak often loose their balance and fall back down. The peak is very narrow and just enough to plant your accomplishments which others can follow and learn from. Now this is my gift to you. Hope you will cherish this experience and carry the credit of this peak and your name associated to it with humility and pride as well. I would want you to share what you have learnt with others and use what you have learnt today for the rest of your life. By doing so I assure you that many of your concerns will end and you will begin to live a life with more caution but yet with more happiness, accomplishments and success. Let this Mountain of experience take you to your peak in life and set a path that many others can follow.

 

Wisdom begins at the end.  ~Daniel Webster

 

With these profound words and the experience the young mans life changed that very moment. He sat there and watched the sun set as he recollected every single experience he gained today and was clinging on to every single word his uncle told him. He then decided to set his past down and begin tomorrow with a renewed vigor and use this wonderful experience he gained this day as a lesson about life.

Such are many profound lessons one can learn from simple experiences in life. Perhaps this story will help many of us to rethink our lives and experiences and help us make better choices, and draw some strength from the lessons this young man learned. Life is very similar to climbing a Mountain. There may be some mountain we need to climb again, but we have to persevere until we conquer the peak!


Learning to appreciate life and being grateful


For each new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, For health and food, for love and friends, For everything Thy goodness sends. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I wake up with a sever head ache often. Lying on the bed and staring at the ray of morning sun light on the wall that breaks through the curtains into my room, I reluctantly think of my sad life briefly and curse every moment of it. Why do these things happen to me? what did I do wrong to deserve this?, why cant anyone understand me or just simply reciprocate my honesty and genuine love with theirs? What does it take for people to be nice and honest?…… this bloody job I go to go to this morning… ah! I hate this life, I hate it vehemently and I hate the state of affairs!

He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.  ~Epictetus

 These were the things I used to think almost every single morning after my divorce a few years ago. These feelings and thoughts were often compounded by the drudgery of day to day living with my bitter self and extremely critical and cynical outlook towards life. And I loved it! It soothed my soul with self pity. I could cuddle my thoughts and my love and pain for self and sleep away in my tears until the next time the sun breaks through those bloody curtains in my room. A lifestyle as my beloved brother so eloquently puts it: “wallowing like a hippo in a swamp”. A despicable life of absolute ungratefulness, total disregard to the people who still love me, support me, care about me, and disrespect to my work, my colleagues, their collective support and understanding and all the wonderful things I am gifted with in my life.

After the daily ritual of waking up with such extreme negativity I choose to conveniently forget the wonderful shower I have under the 10 inch Rain shower head that I had installed, sit in my super gorgeous Audi A6, listen to the soothing music on my Sirius Sat Radio, and glide to the prestigious company that I work for. I treat myself to a fancy lunch with my colleagues, return home in the evening and visit my brothers house and share a few million laughs with my ever entertaining and extremely funny nephews, get smothered in love, affection, concern from my family, then continue to meet with my friends and enjoy a few drinks and share a few more laughs and get back to my dungeon late at night. Dungeon: that is exactly where I lived. A nice 3 bedroom brightly lit house filled with old bad memories and my lonely self. And then I continue to wallow like a hippo in a swamp.

A thankful heart is not only the greatest virtue, but the parent of all other virtues. — Cicero

 

Oh yes. I did many other things I could to divert my attention and try to appreciate the pain and sorrow of others. I sponsored a child, gave away money as much as I could with all the generosity I could muster. I helped everyone as usual without any regard for self and my own need for rest, money, security etc. All and anything I could do to help others as I always do and even more now. Volunteer at the local shelter for the homeless, donate food to the food bank, and be as charitable as I possibly can be.

Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. — Christiane Northrup

 

But what I never did was be grateful for what I have and the amazing life I could live where I could do all these wonderful things for others and the endless love, support and the joy I could share with my wonderful family and friends. The concept of Thankfulness and Gratitude didn’t exist in my swamp! Not a single bit! Yeah, yeah! They told me everything I knew already. Be positive, look at the tragedies other people have gone through and still continue to be positive in life, take up a hobby, appreciate life so on and so forth. But they haven’t been hurt like I have. They haven’t experienced my pain. How world they know? They were never betrayed, they weren’t emotionally abused, looted, pillaged and lived through what I called a “Shakespearean “betrayal! Ha! Advice is cheap! Save your breadth, do not teach me the things I already know, but just simply keep giving me love and sympathy. That is all I needed now. And I continued to become a bitter person every day and morphed into this obese sloth that always had something negative or cynical to say about almost everyone or anything that I came across. Look at that idiot how he is driving his car, stupid waitress, ruthless boss, unjust and over demanding customers, lazy goal keeper, bloody airline staff, and thus the list continued.

To live a life of gratitude is to open our eyes to the countless ways in which we are supported by the world around us. Such a life provides less space for our suffering because our attention is more balanced. We are more often occupied with noticing what we are given, thanking those who have helped us, and repaying the world in some concrete way for what we are receiving. — Gregg Krech

 

Then one fine day, I woke up just simply tired! TIRED! Tired of being me, and what I had become. No, I didn’t have any life altering experience, no incident of intense inspiration, no epiphany, no bolt of lightning! Just simply woke up totally tired of being a despicable negative slob. I dragged myself to the mirror in the washroom. Took a good look at myself. And there I found this animal I never knew. Jouls hanging like a bulldog, a big pot belly, man boobs, unkept 70’s style long hair, a permanent frown, bags under my eyes, and just horribly haggard. And I couldn’t help think of this whole world around me and how they continued to still respect me, tolerate me, love me, and support this monster I had become. This negative, ugly, bitter and ungrateful monster, that I myself would never want to do anything with.

I soon began to realize a few very important things as I continued to ponder on what I had in my life as opposed to wallowing on what I didn’t have. I am an intelligent person with great wisdom. I am free and without any serious responsibility but for my own self. I have sufficient time on my hands. I am educated, smart and well informed. People value my opinions, seek my advice often, some look at to me for guidance or inspiration. I am nothing short of a perfectly able person with the ability to think on my own and free to choose how I want to live. And yet I chose to live the way I did. There was nothing holding me back to achieve what ever I wanted or desired for. And if there were any obstacles on my chosen path, like they always do, I could certainly come up with something to overcome them or avoid them based on my skills, intelligence and choice. But in order for me to help choose to make this very necessary charge towards a positive life I needed to do one thing first. I had to realize and deeply understand the amazing things I am truly blessed with. I needed to learn to appreciate the things and people around me with absolute honesty and humility. I had to learn to be grateful!

What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. — Ralph Marston

 

Since then, my life has been pretty good. I laugh at the silliness of the drivers in rage, I have learned to be more patient with the waitress, understanding of my bosses challenges and limitations, more empathetic of my customers situations, cheer on the goal keeper for at least trying his best to stop the puck,  request for the window seat as opposed to rudely demand at the check in counter, and understand their challenges too and do not expect to get a window seat and be pleasantly surprised when I get one. Life became easier, and suddenly I begin to notice nicer people, kinder people, more smiles and tolerance. With this came the can do attitude, the courage, the art of working towards solutions as opposed to worry about problems, and above all making better choices and taking full responsibility for my choices and the resulting outcome.

 

Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. — Marcel Proust

 

I believe that all of us are too busy in our respective lives lost in our work, sorrows, pains, relationships and momentary self gratification my accruing materialistic things. We are too busy satisfying our bosses, our friends or loved ones, or just pampering our own self, our inflated egos, our sorrows and complexes. And being lost in this fast changing indulgence of momentary experiences of small satisfactions we often neglect the very core things, people, and experience that nurtures, feeds and holds our soul. These are often the experiences and things that mater the most in our lives, which we unfortunately only realize after having lost them.

As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.  ~John Fitzgerald Kennedy

 So, take some time from your life to think about those people who hold you, understand you, support you, and care about you. Take some time to list the wonderful things that you have in your life for a change. Take the time to count your blessings. And think how your life would be without these people, and things. And when you will naturally experience the appreciation of these people and things, get up and go express your gratitude. Express your gratitude just in words but by your actions, deeds and the way you honor them by taking care of your life. And there beings your first step towards living a truly happier and satisfying life.

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.  ~William Arthur Ward

A few things you can do to become a more thankful being and appreciate life more.

  • Count your blessings, the things you have and the people who are always there for you (in person, morally, emotionally etc)
  • Enjoy what you have and do not cry over the things what you don’t. But also work towards getting the things you desire. They will not come to you by being bitter. Work towards it, earn it.
  • Exercise your choices in life and choose to be positive and better. Not negative and bitter.
  • Be generous and help others. By sharing their problems that you can help diminish will help you appreciate the problems that you do not have. Offer to help others if and when you can.
  • Be charitable. Support those who are less fortunate.
  • Thank others as much as you can. Express and show your appreciation for the things they do for you. Send a thank you note, give a hug, phone them and let them know you appreciate their presence in your life.
  • Practice some self criticism in an effort to self improve always. Learn to look at your life as an opportunity to do something positive as opposed to wasting it away in worries, anger, bitterness and hatred.


The wisdom to win every loosing fight


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A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning. ~
Billie Jean King 

Every one of us likes to be recognized for our efforts and deeds. Perhaps not necessarily by elaborate recognitions, awards and titles being endowed upon us, but certainly by means of appreciation, respect, acknowledgement, gratitude and love for the things we do.  Some of us may do things expecting nothing in return, and do things for our own personal or spiritual satisfaction, while others may set out to accomplish great things because they believe in its value and purpose. But then there are those who do things to be the best in whatever they choose to do.

The great winners who become inspirational heroes, guiding light for others to follow and accomplish the unthinkable are those who combine all of these three qualities and values towards one determined purpose. To win and be the best of the best!

It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not a winner. ~ Vince Lombardi

Every fighter, sportsman, politician, writer, activist, actor, or anyone from any walk of life who has done something great and is being regards as an inspirational figure demonstrated the same qualities of these three kids of people combined in accomplishing what every they set out to do. They believed in their purpose, yearned for the respect and appreciation of their peers, aligned their personal and spiritual goals, and strived to be the best they can every be in what the intend to do.

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

The most wonderful thing that comes out of a combination of such qualities is Courage and Determination.  Both of  which are supremely essential for one to persistently face, and overcome each and every hardships, obstacles, deviating forces, confusion, delays, frustrations, failures, exhaustion, fatigue and losses.  For the road to success entails all of these aspects regardless of your objective and final goal. It is inevitable for one to question these numerous challenges along the way, but to get to the top a true winner doesn’t stop to ask “why?” but rather chooses to ask “why not?” Because, once you win and get to the top, it is only the hard knocks and the harsh lessons you experienced along the way that gives you the wisdom, humility, balance, and character that others find inspiring.

I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. ~ Michael Jordan

The fighter in the ring consistently and strategically beats and breaks down the opponents’ body every round after round. While he is doing so, the opponent is simultaneously doing the same to him. Both keep going at each other till each other’s body breaks down in the most excruciating of pain. They both finally reach at the verge of collapsing. It is at that very point in the fight, the true winner emerges. After the total breakdown of physical power, the true fighter while lying down, gathers his will, courage and determination, (mind over body) and gets back on his feet.  It is in that moment where he goes above and beyond the will, determination and courage of his opponent that he wins the fight. But in that very moment where he experiences the pain, and agony of his body, he realizes the strength, might and power of his adversary. Thus he becomes humble, forgets the prefight hatred, expresses his respect and gratitude to his opponent and gains the respect and adulations of his peers and fans alike.

Winning is about heart, not just legs. It’s got to be in the right place. ~ Lance Armstrong

Several people face their share of battles in life. Some of us choose greater ones to fight. Hopefully these battles are of worthy and noble purposes. But where many of us fail is often at the last round. Where you need your will, determination, and courage to take over your body and stand up. We face several challenges and fight them all until the last round. It is in that very moment our choice in action determines if we will be a winner or not.  And it is right there where the experience gained through all the hardships faced along the way, calls upon your wisdom.  The only thing that stands between you and the winner in you is YOU! Your choice, will, courage and determination!

Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing. ~ Vince Lombardi


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