If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counselling; if you can use either one, it’s a miracle.
Advice is cheap. It doesn’t cost anything but time and emotions for the person who gives advice. Which incidentally many have ample to dish away. Everyone can give advises too. I can give you advice about things which I have absolutely no idea about. Your friends can give you advice on love or relationships that they have personally never been in either of these situations. An employee of any financial institution can advice you on global economies regardless of their institution being on the verge of a bail out themselves. Advice is cheap. Be good, be positive, be courageous so on and so forth. There are those who may advice you who themselves do not practice what they preach. I have often learned a lot from such advisers more and followed their advises often. And as time passed by I realized that it is easier to give advice but there are several other factors that can stop you from practicing the same. Which also helped me realize the value of these advises about the right things to do in life and how difficult it is to walk the righteous path and hold on to your values.
In giving advice seek to help, not to please, your friend.
Why do people give advice? It may not cost them anything monetarily. But the concern, love, concern and care they experience for you often holds lot more value to them than it does to you. Many advice because simply they care. These types of advisers are usually your family, friends or those who know you personally. Then there are those who offer their unsolicited advises whether they are concerned or not. They perhaps take more pride in their position where they can tell something of value and get some acknowledgement in return. And when you seek advice from some they either give you their opinion or advises based on their individual beliefs, experiences and feelings towards the subject. These advises can be biased or unbiased depending on their objective that moment. Even subject matter experts are often wrong. Many advises from subject matter experts often change depending on the research programs and findings. One day wine will be very good for your heart the other day it wont. Likewise, you will be told to have 3 -4 cups of coffee by a Doctor on TV one week, and two later you will be asked to cut down to one. Meanwhile, you have only battered your heart for no good reason as a result of your actions based on such advises.
When you seek advice, do not withhold any facts from the person whose advice you seek.
So how do you go about getting the right advice and seeking help when you need one? The fact is that the responsibility is upon you on who and what kind of advice you seek. If you want someone who simply needs to agree with you and your decisions you may seek anyone from your social circle who shares your similar ideas or values. They will often agree with your decisions and pamper your ego and actions regardless of whether they you are right or wrong. But if you truly need a formidable person who can guide you with an unbiased opinion, then it has to be someone who knows you well and cares enough about you to tell you the facts and give the best advice they possibly can based on their individual knowledge and experience. These are people who are from your immediate family and friends circle who know you over a period of time.
Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.
When you ahead out to seek some professional advice or guidance on a particular subject matter it is imperative that you place your trust and seek advice from those who truly are just, unbiased and are known to have provided good fact based advice to others. For example, seeking advice on a relationship from someone who themselves have had a failed relationships wouldn’t be wise. Similarly, seeking advice from a home owner on the right price for a home that you hope to purchase might not be the only advice you will need on that subject. If you truly seek to acquire a balanced and sound guidance on a subject you will have to go seek for it with some honest introspection, hard work and multiple sources before you are able to form an educated and well-balanced opinion. Such effort based, balanced and educated opinions often result in sound decisions and successful outcomes in life. I had mentioned honest introspection earlier because it is equally imperative and supremely important to remove your pride, prejudice, ego and preconceived notions about the subject from your mind on that particular subject in order to enable yourself to be open to what you learn from seeking such advises.
I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine.
Next time you find the need to seek advice or a valued opinion, take the time and put some thinking on choosing who you seek advice from. Value the advises that you receive from those who are concerned about you and love you. Be open to advises and learn that even people who may not have followed what they preach may teach you a valuable thing or two. Learning from other people’s mistakes saves from making your own. Be open to advises, do your research, explore your sources and options and learn well before you form your important decisions in life. Advice is cheap. But if it costs anyone it costs the person who bases his or her decision on that advice. Your choice on the advice you follow and the sources and people who you seek advice from often has a great impact on major decisions in your life. Advises can be from others, but the final decision and the outcome of following those advises are yours.
Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. ~Cicero